.::tired again...sec3guys...whats going on?::.

~*haha...dance camp over*~

ok...haha thanks for reminding mi that my blog is dead for so many days,... hmm... really was busy and i choose maple over

blogging... maple rocks k...

haha... so many things happened... i cried so many times during camp... hmm... i dunno wad to say la... but... hmm... but i

hope tat things are still the same for the guys...

hmm...like i say before... it is usually me one... to alot... never seems like the other way round.. i am quite tired...

quite tired of fearing n taking care of all of them... maybe it is time to stop? haix... it will only be another way round

when i started showing black face... haix... but whatever... i am still happy now... so let it be...

~*there are some things that when i know i can help*~
~*jia you guys!!!~*

.::where am i now?::.

~*hey...this is a happy entry*~
~*cause i am not irritated by my stupid computer at home*~
~*hmm...cause i am not at home now*~

hmm...ok...a few days for me to escape from reality... i am now at genting highlands... once i go back to singapore tomorrow, everything will be the same busy thing for me again...

so many things...project work... my I AND R... totally not done... this is really one big escape...

hmm...cant imagine... blogging at genting... never in my life...maybe this once... got two hours for me to spend...hmm...quite a lot of things to do... alot that i cant do at home... due to my stupid computer..

sometimes an escape like this is cool...maybe i shall try playing counter strike later... hmm... i tried just now...but i am just not talented...

cool huh... last night ride was alright... the others with me are having fun... hmm... nevermind... it is ok...

his nickname never change... i never anicipated that... but i should have guessed so long ago... as in... hmm... who is she... and who is he? they were just like that lah... aiya... things just keep changing...

hmm...this is a happy entry right? i said so right? hmm... maybe i shall stop typing before i run out of topic and go into something worst...

ok... that day went to sengkang... taught those kids from nan chiau primary school... hmm... first time... abit stressed but i survived... with the help of christine and cassandra... hmm... cute kids there...

never ever imagine that i can actually take a class... i am so lan... that is what i think...

oh ya... my friendster... i bet it is rotting away... all thanks to the stupidity of my computer at home... i shall go settle that now!!!

maybe there will be another entry later...

~* C= *~
~*the smile is still there*~
~*who knows what that means to me?*~
~*the things may change, but most things are still the same*~

.::a happy entry::.

~*let this be some happy entry*~
~*since i cant cry everything out*~
~*do i have a choice but to remain happy?*~

i assume life is like that...i never have a choice whether to cry or not...because tears and smiles are never things that are within my control...

a smile can just seem so easy when you are happy...but when you are sad,even if there is a smile on your face, it is never genuine...

i like tears more than smiles... cause tears are more truthful than smiles... it is hard to force tears onto your face when you cant cry... but it is easy to force a smile onto your face when you cant smile...

you can always doubt someone who is smiling but you can hardly or never doubt someone who is crying... thats me... thats what i am thinking...

why am i always looking back? wondering what will happen if somethings were not done or if somethings were done, where will i be now? wondering where is the old me...

let this be one of the few happy entry that i have for this blog...

anyone still remember the old me? i only remember i am happier that way...not now... but what i can do?i cant get the old me back...

not regrets but i am always wondering...if i took another path, where will i be now?will i be happier? no one can tell me the answer... that is something that is similar in all our life... we never know how will things turn out to be if we took another path...

will youu be happy?will i be happy? the latter never seems to be in my consideration...cause others' happiness are in your control but yours is in others...

thats my thinking...

seems like this just cant be the few happy entries that my blog has...

maybe if your see me with swollen eyes tomorrow, your should be glad that i will be leading a happy day tomorrow... at least i cried things out tonite...

but i guess that that tomorrow will never come...cause i cant cry...maybe i am just not sad enough...

C=

it is easy to type that smile...but it mean nothing anymore... i hope that it dont mean anything anymore...but i cant... cause i am just another useless freak...

everything still seems to be the same...but in actual fact, they are not... cause there are just so many differences now...

i want to consult my tarots but do i have the courage to go and admit what it will reveal?admit and accept that what it states there is true and someday it will happen? fear that it will only be another wait that i can never understand...

hehe...i am so AA...so attracting attention here now...but it is my blog...

there is still much things i want to tell youur but i cant...i dont know how to handle whatever consequences that may come along...

be happy...it is something that i can never do for youu...

how i wish time can fly faster...let me grow up to support myself and give mama more happiness...dont let her suffer...

~*youu will be happy*~
~*i know*~
~*that is what i tell myself*~
~*till then, everything for now shall be memories*~
~*i will treasure till then*~