it all happened 35 days ago, and yes, i am still thinking about it.
on a lighter note, my boss is in Singapore waters le. finally he is back.
C=
I need my mahjong session!!!
Faster finish exams!!!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
.::Hide Me Away::.
I am tired and exhausted all of a sudden. Maybe because i suddenly realise that there arent much goal for me in life at the moment. or maybe i am just tired of the lifestyle now. hope i feel better after the holiday.
Yesterday night, wanted to Mahjong but reckon that i better dont go in case i get barred from there forever. and people are out enjoying dinner with their families but me, alone at home, eating corn flake and watching tv, ALONE. then daddy came home. asked if he wanted a drink but i realise he is as usual, drunk, and started to haolian about his red wine at the door while taking off his boots and smoking. so argh, i gave up the idea of drinking with him.
then after contacting the usual guy, i realise another really really drunk guy. CHO KAI SIANG. he is drunk like dont know what la. Apparently, he is in camp, drinking. hmm. and he had a shot of whisky, and 4 cans of beer before the first call that we made. then by the time i called him for the second time, he sounded more drunk and i realise he had about 5 cans le. -.- then during the last call, he hang up without finishing whatever he is trying to say and can tell that he totally cannot make it le.
then met up with Lau. savior lor. really. haha. went out for supper or rather, my dinner. had wu xiang. but i am just so bored with life la. after eating, went to 7 eleven. I WANT TO DRINK! so i got a bourbon coke. so sweet. -.- ok, maybe that will be the last time i drink that. but its still ok, other than being too sweet. Lau end up not drinking anything. -.-
then walk to the park, talk and talk and then jiu go home le. sian. go home, attempt to do cross stitch. i feel so lousy, only 275ml of 8% and i feel abit tipsy but i manage to get home and get a good night sleep.
this morning, i woke up and i stepped into a puddle of urine in my room!
Poor Carrot, apparently, my sister let her into my room and because today is a Saturday, no one wakes up early so no one open the door for carrot to go out at around 5 or 6 early in the morning so she couldnt go out to her loo. My parents heard scratching and knocking early in the morning but they dint open the door for her, cause they dint expect that she is inside. and according to my mama, when she woke up to charge her hp, carrot stop all the knocking and scratching, maybe she thought my mama will open the door for her. but no one did! and so she urinated in my room at a corner that would not dirty anything. poor girl.
so no one bear to scold her. and for this afternoon, i dont know what i should do
people ask me go out, ask me go dinner, ask me go zoo, ask me go mahjong, ask me go chit chat. but i dont know which one to choose so i rejected all. i feel so bad. but i am feeling tired. i think i need a sleep and i am feeling weird now.
things that happened during the funeral kept coming back to my mind. something that i know i should stop thinking. was talking to my mama that day. i asked her if she got think of her. it has been a month. how is everyone coping, i dont know. life still goes on. we like it or not, it still does. she is no longer there and there is nothing we can do about it.
i remember how she look at the hospital during her last week and her last moment, how she can still joke with us and how she want to play mahjong, but fear kept her away, how she struggle at the last fewhours, how she cry, how red her eyes were when we asked if she was waiting for her sister. how everyone crowd around her, taking turns to see her, talk to her, how my uncles and aunties kept trying to tell her to go on and move on after seeing how she struggle. i remember how some of my auntiees and cousins cried the moemnet she is gone. i remember how everyone walked out when i came back after sending an old lady downstairs. i knew something was wrong. i remember how i went down to wait for another auntie and how i came back to see no heartbeat. i remember how we were told to not cry, i remember how we stood at the corridor and decide on the funeral, i remember how i rush to Batok the next morning, how i rush back to work and then back to batok again, i regret not getting to see her, i remember seeing her hand from afar, i remember how she look in the past when she is still in the pink of health. i remember how all the cousins got together, i remember how we work together those nights, i remember how we took turn to do things, how we get together to gossip, how we did all the rituals during the last night, how i cried, how people start to cry, how i cry and how the guys tried to stop us from crying, how we still work, how we went early the next morning, how we did what we could again for her, how we gather around to see the house, how we went through rituals again and how everyone start to cry again, how we try to not cry, i remember the moment the coffin was raised by the guys, i remember how everyone broke down. i remember how we walked and how cousins are worried for their mama, how i tried to look after the kids, how we walked and board the bus. i will always remember the route that we walked. how we still can talk and joke on bus and how tired some of us were that they fall asleep.
i remember how the place look like, what we did and i remmeber seeing the tears in the eyes of my cousin rolling, someone always happy and full of jokes, i saw those tears, i remmeber how we then move off to the viewing gallery and how the coffin was pushed in, how everyone start to cry again and i remember how that bloody idiot auntie start to take picture. i rmember how everyone walked out, threw away our socks and took off the things that are suppose to be taken off, how we wore our shoes and how we board the bus again. i remember how emo i was, how irritated i was then on board the bus, with the driver and someone's friend HAPPILY CHIT CHATTING AWAY! i remember how irritated i was, i remember how the few of us on the bus remain very quiet. i remember how we washed ourselves after reaching batok, i remember how we climb the steps up to the hosue and how we prayed again for her to come back to her new house, i remmeber how we went doen and have lunch and i rmember how everyone is ok with everything. then i remember seeing my tired parents at home and i remember playing with my cousins that night, and i remember how emo i got towards the end, cos i realise, everything is over, and she is really gone.
i will remember TTSH forever and i will avoid Novena, cause the moement i go there, i will remember that TTSH is nearby and i will remember i lost my grandma there before.
the one who hardly dotes on me, the one who came over and took care of me the old chinese way when i was very very sick, the one who took me to the hospital to see my cousins when i was young, the one who came to my house and taught me how and where to sweep, the one who came to my house and taught me how to mop, the one who came to my house and kept away all my soft toys, the one who took us and compared with our cousins, the one who i call ah ma, the one comes and stay with us for a few weeks and i remember how she always like me to be home cause i will talk to her, the one who cook nice sweet potato leaves, the one who cook nice but oily food, the one who my doggies likes to play with, the one who have a smile that has only one tooth, the old lady who have difficulty in biting but still bite, the one who gave birth to 18 children, the one who gave me a big family, the one who gave me so many cute cousins, the one who came over and stay during the last newyear, the one who made my house crowded during the new year, the one who dont like to sleep at night, the one who never like to admit that she is tired, the one whom i tried to do an address change for, the one who i missed. dearly.
This is Life.
Yesterday night, wanted to Mahjong but reckon that i better dont go in case i get barred from there forever. and people are out enjoying dinner with their families but me, alone at home, eating corn flake and watching tv, ALONE. then daddy came home. asked if he wanted a drink but i realise he is as usual, drunk, and started to haolian about his red wine at the door while taking off his boots and smoking. so argh, i gave up the idea of drinking with him.
then after contacting the usual guy, i realise another really really drunk guy. CHO KAI SIANG. he is drunk like dont know what la. Apparently, he is in camp, drinking. hmm. and he had a shot of whisky, and 4 cans of beer before the first call that we made. then by the time i called him for the second time, he sounded more drunk and i realise he had about 5 cans le. -.- then during the last call, he hang up without finishing whatever he is trying to say and can tell that he totally cannot make it le.
then met up with Lau. savior lor. really. haha. went out for supper or rather, my dinner. had wu xiang. but i am just so bored with life la. after eating, went to 7 eleven. I WANT TO DRINK! so i got a bourbon coke. so sweet. -.- ok, maybe that will be the last time i drink that. but its still ok, other than being too sweet. Lau end up not drinking anything. -.-
then walk to the park, talk and talk and then jiu go home le. sian. go home, attempt to do cross stitch. i feel so lousy, only 275ml of 8% and i feel abit tipsy but i manage to get home and get a good night sleep.
this morning, i woke up and i stepped into a puddle of urine in my room!
Poor Carrot, apparently, my sister let her into my room and because today is a Saturday, no one wakes up early so no one open the door for carrot to go out at around 5 or 6 early in the morning so she couldnt go out to her loo. My parents heard scratching and knocking early in the morning but they dint open the door for her, cause they dint expect that she is inside. and according to my mama, when she woke up to charge her hp, carrot stop all the knocking and scratching, maybe she thought my mama will open the door for her. but no one did! and so she urinated in my room at a corner that would not dirty anything. poor girl.
so no one bear to scold her. and for this afternoon, i dont know what i should do
people ask me go out, ask me go dinner, ask me go zoo, ask me go mahjong, ask me go chit chat. but i dont know which one to choose so i rejected all. i feel so bad. but i am feeling tired. i think i need a sleep and i am feeling weird now.
things that happened during the funeral kept coming back to my mind. something that i know i should stop thinking. was talking to my mama that day. i asked her if she got think of her. it has been a month. how is everyone coping, i dont know. life still goes on. we like it or not, it still does. she is no longer there and there is nothing we can do about it.
i remember how she look at the hospital during her last week and her last moment, how she can still joke with us and how she want to play mahjong, but fear kept her away, how she struggle at the last fewhours, how she cry, how red her eyes were when we asked if she was waiting for her sister. how everyone crowd around her, taking turns to see her, talk to her, how my uncles and aunties kept trying to tell her to go on and move on after seeing how she struggle. i remember how some of my auntiees and cousins cried the moemnet she is gone. i remember how everyone walked out when i came back after sending an old lady downstairs. i knew something was wrong. i remember how i went down to wait for another auntie and how i came back to see no heartbeat. i remember how we were told to not cry, i remember how we stood at the corridor and decide on the funeral, i remember how i rush to Batok the next morning, how i rush back to work and then back to batok again, i regret not getting to see her, i remember seeing her hand from afar, i remember how she look in the past when she is still in the pink of health. i remember how all the cousins got together, i remember how we work together those nights, i remember how we took turn to do things, how we get together to gossip, how we did all the rituals during the last night, how i cried, how people start to cry, how i cry and how the guys tried to stop us from crying, how we still work, how we went early the next morning, how we did what we could again for her, how we gather around to see the house, how we went through rituals again and how everyone start to cry again, how we try to not cry, i remember the moment the coffin was raised by the guys, i remember how everyone broke down. i remember how we walked and how cousins are worried for their mama, how i tried to look after the kids, how we walked and board the bus. i will always remember the route that we walked. how we still can talk and joke on bus and how tired some of us were that they fall asleep.
i remember how the place look like, what we did and i remmeber seeing the tears in the eyes of my cousin rolling, someone always happy and full of jokes, i saw those tears, i remmeber how we then move off to the viewing gallery and how the coffin was pushed in, how everyone start to cry again and i remember how that bloody idiot auntie start to take picture. i rmember how everyone walked out, threw away our socks and took off the things that are suppose to be taken off, how we wore our shoes and how we board the bus again. i remember how emo i was, how irritated i was then on board the bus, with the driver and someone's friend HAPPILY CHIT CHATTING AWAY! i remember how irritated i was, i remember how the few of us on the bus remain very quiet. i remember how we washed ourselves after reaching batok, i remember how we climb the steps up to the hosue and how we prayed again for her to come back to her new house, i remmeber how we went doen and have lunch and i rmember how everyone is ok with everything. then i remember seeing my tired parents at home and i remember playing with my cousins that night, and i remember how emo i got towards the end, cos i realise, everything is over, and she is really gone.
i will remember TTSH forever and i will avoid Novena, cause the moement i go there, i will remember that TTSH is nearby and i will remember i lost my grandma there before.
the one who hardly dotes on me, the one who came over and took care of me the old chinese way when i was very very sick, the one who took me to the hospital to see my cousins when i was young, the one who came to my house and taught me how and where to sweep, the one who came to my house and taught me how to mop, the one who came to my house and kept away all my soft toys, the one who took us and compared with our cousins, the one who i call ah ma, the one comes and stay with us for a few weeks and i remember how she always like me to be home cause i will talk to her, the one who cook nice sweet potato leaves, the one who cook nice but oily food, the one who my doggies likes to play with, the one who have a smile that has only one tooth, the old lady who have difficulty in biting but still bite, the one who gave birth to 18 children, the one who gave me a big family, the one who gave me so many cute cousins, the one who came over and stay during the last newyear, the one who made my house crowded during the new year, the one who dont like to sleep at night, the one who never like to admit that she is tired, the one whom i tried to do an address change for, the one who i missed. dearly.
This is Life.
Friday, October 24, 2008
.::TODAY IS A FRIDAY! OMG::.
OMG~! TODAY IS A FRIDAY!!!
and jieyim is one happy girl because today is a FRIDAY!although i am abit sad that i still have to work tomorrow
but it is still ok, at least the weekend is coming and i have yet to give LK whatever that i should. oh no!
JIE YIM, YOU SHOULD START TO WORK!
I troubled someone yesterday night. for someone staying in Jurong West to send me home from Jurong East.. OMG. so mafan but still feel grateful, if not i will be totally drenched.
Had my Occupational First Aid Theory Paper yesterday. haha. i like the instructor!ok, my sis will say that i like being praised la but i believe i was praise because i was good also.
I proved myself, its not because he is biased or something, i have the capability, i manage to get 30/30 for the theory paper. haha.actually i expected that d=
i think some people will feel like whacking me now. but haha. i dint even study and i know i wun fail.
hmm. this goes to proof something that my sister said, i am actaully cut out to study de. but hmm. i choose whatever that i am doing now. if i could turn back time, i will choose to study. but i dont regret also. hmm. contradicts but iz ok. I HAPPY JIU HAO! HAHA
i want to MAHJONG! but then i think i should find time to start studying again. OMG. my accounts are going down~ down~ down~ down~. haha
and oh ya, my kaki sick, and having exams. -.-
Enjoying Jay's new album at the moment. and i have to say, i really enjoy 花海.
and jieyim is one happy girl because today is a FRIDAY!
but it is still ok, at least the weekend is coming and i have yet to give LK whatever that i should. oh no!
JIE YIM, YOU SHOULD START TO WORK!
I troubled someone yesterday night. for someone staying in Jurong West to send me home from Jurong East.. OMG. so mafan but still feel grateful, if not i will be totally drenched.
Had my Occupational First Aid Theory Paper yesterday. haha. i like the instructor!
I proved myself, its not because he is biased or something, i have the capability, i manage to get 30/30 for the theory paper. haha.
i think some people will feel like whacking me now. but haha. i dint even study and i know i wun fail.
hmm. this goes to proof something that my sister said, i am actaully cut out to study de. but hmm. i choose whatever that i am doing now. if i could turn back time, i will choose to study. but i dont regret also. hmm. contradicts but iz ok. I HAPPY JIU HAO! HAHA
i want to MAHJONG! but then i think i should find time to start studying again. OMG. my accounts are going down~ down~ down~ down~. haha
and oh ya, my kaki sick, and having exams. -.-
Enjoying Jay's new album at the moment. and i have to say, i really enjoy 花海.
花海
静止了 所有的花开
遥远了 清晰了爱
情侣们 爱却更喜欢
那时候 我不懂 这场爱
你喜欢 站在那窗台
你好久 都没再来
彩色的 世界染上空白
是你流的泪晕开
不要你离开 距离隔不开
思念变成海 在窗外进不来
原谅说太快 爱成了阻碍
手中的风筝放太快回不来
不要你离开 泪已化不开
经历的阻碍 我在等待重来
天空仍灿烂 她爱着大海
情歌被打败 爱已不存在
你喜欢 站在那窗台
你好久 都没再来
彩色的 世界染上空白
是你流的泪晕开
不要你离开 距离隔不开
思念变成海 在窗外进不来
原谅说太快 爱成了阻碍
手中的风筝放太快回不来
不要你离开 泪已化不开
经历的阻碍 我在等待重来
天空仍灿烂 她爱着大海
情歌被打败 爱已不存在
TATA. Thats all. haha. i am hungry. MUM MUM TIME!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
.::Even if no one reads::.
I just realise no one read my blog, or maybe the people just dont tag cause i dont reply.
hmm. anyway, that is not really important.
This morning, i went to The Revenue House for a briefing on GST.
Not that i dont what and how to claim GST, but just that i HAVE to go.
anyway, i start to not like the place. even going pass that place, i dont like.
things happened a month ago. i cant imagine she is really gone.
and i just realise something last night
My uncle seems to be the owner of the Ten Dollar Club. -.-
hmm. anyway, that is not really important.
This morning, i went to The Revenue House for a briefing on GST.
Not that i dont what and how to claim GST, but just that i HAVE to go.
anyway, i start to not like the place. even going pass that place, i dont like.
things happened a month ago. i cant imagine she is really gone.
and i just realise something last night
My uncle seems to be the owner of the Ten Dollar Club. -.-
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
.::Thinking things through::.
Hmm. Something not really pleasant happened yesterday night and it made me thought through quite alot of things.
Someone called me during lesson and me happen to pick it up. then we had the following conversation:
Girl: Oei, i saw your daddy leh!!!
Me(during class, and speaking damn softly): Orh, i having class.
Girl: I dint see him at the usual coffeeshop leh, i saw him at another one.
Me(still speaking damn softly): Orh, i having class.
Girl: You guess which coffeeshop i saw him?
Me(starting to get irritated, still speaking damn softly): I having class!
Girl: Orh, why having class? What class?
Me end the call aruptly.
ANGRY! BLOOD BOIL CAN?!
Ok, i should not even have picked up the call in the first place.
But this is freaking irritating! How can she be so irritating.
hmm. then when i was walking home, i thought through everything that happened and the weather is nice, small drizzle, real small droplets of rain drop.
I used to think that she is a poor little girl because her sisters dont really treat her well at home and i know ultimately, what she needs is just attention, something that she need endless amount of but her sisters and people living in her house are in no ability to provide her with.
Then i start to realise where her limits are or rather, i realise she have no limits to the need for attention.
Then the fuse start to get shorter and shorter but still manageable.
Just like another Boy, i was telling the brother to give him more attention cause that is what he need also.
But i always tell them, who am i to tell them what to do, they are not my brother or sister. and this make me wonder, am i a good sister?
I know i wasnt there for them the past 2 years but now i am. I know i was just a spoilt brat for the past 2 years but now i believe i am not. so am i a good sister or not? hehe.
Someone told me to heck care her but come to think of it, i still think she very poor thing, no one want to play with her, etc. and even if she was the one who manage to convince us to go over and 'play' with her, ultimately, we will still cast her aside when we start to mj or do other things.
Am i suppose to blame her for her young age? or should i just blame myself for picking up that bloody call? but anyway, its really a SMALL thing la. i just feel so bitch and xiao qi blogging about it here.
anyway, hoping to enjoy whatever that comes along in life but for now, i will continue worrying about what is going to happen at home.
Apparently, my mama forgot to turn off the gas this time round, although the gas is finished, but you never know what. she also damn DOK KONG can? last time forget to turn off the slow cooker and it made me think about it for hours only to realise that it is switch off already. and now this. -.- wth.
OH YA! I wanna go shopping!!! =C i need a new bag BADLY.
ok, wednesday will be the day that i will shop. d= shhh...
hmm. what can i say? sometimes somethings just arent meant to be. my sister asked me about him last night. something that surprised me anyway, everything is over. C= and i am a happy, loving soul now! C=
Someone called me during lesson and me happen to pick it up. then we had the following conversation:
Girl: Oei, i saw your daddy leh!!!
Me(during class, and speaking damn softly): Orh, i having class.
Girl: I dint see him at the usual coffeeshop leh, i saw him at another one.
Me(still speaking damn softly): Orh, i having class.
Girl: You guess which coffeeshop i saw him?
Me(starting to get irritated, still speaking damn softly): I having class!
Girl: Orh, why having class? What class?
Me end the call aruptly.
ANGRY! BLOOD BOIL CAN?!
Ok, i should not even have picked up the call in the first place.
But this is freaking irritating! How can she be so irritating.
hmm. then when i was walking home, i thought through everything that happened and the weather is nice, small drizzle, real small droplets of rain drop.
I used to think that she is a poor little girl because her sisters dont really treat her well at home and i know ultimately, what she needs is just attention, something that she need endless amount of but her sisters and people living in her house are in no ability to provide her with.
Then i start to realise where her limits are or rather, i realise she have no limits to the need for attention.
Then the fuse start to get shorter and shorter but still manageable.
Just like another Boy, i was telling the brother to give him more attention cause that is what he need also.
But i always tell them, who am i to tell them what to do, they are not my brother or sister. and this make me wonder, am i a good sister?
I know i wasnt there for them the past 2 years but now i am. I know i was just a spoilt brat for the past 2 years but now i believe i am not. so am i a good sister or not? hehe.
Someone told me to heck care her but come to think of it, i still think she very poor thing, no one want to play with her, etc. and even if she was the one who manage to convince us to go over and 'play' with her, ultimately, we will still cast her aside when we start to mj or do other things.
Am i suppose to blame her for her young age? or should i just blame myself for picking up that bloody call? but anyway, its really a SMALL thing la. i just feel so bitch and xiao qi blogging about it here.
anyway, hoping to enjoy whatever that comes along in life but for now, i will continue worrying about what is going to happen at home.
Apparently, my mama forgot to turn off the gas this time round, although the gas is finished, but you never know what. she also damn DOK KONG can? last time forget to turn off the slow cooker and it made me think about it for hours only to realise that it is switch off already. and now this. -.- wth.
OH YA! I wanna go shopping!!! =C i need a new bag BADLY.
ok, wednesday will be the day that i will shop. d= shhh...
hmm. what can i say? sometimes somethings just arent meant to be. my sister asked me about him last night. something that surprised me anyway, everything is over. C= and i am a happy, loving soul now! C=
Monday, October 20, 2008
.::My weekend::.
The weekend was rather well spent. Other than mahjonging and playing around, it was a nice time for me to start everything all over again.
First, Friday night, was suppose to go swimming but oh well, was pangseh by people and end up just laying around in my cousin's house.
I totally forget what we did but i know in the end i went home without nothing much done after the guys come back.
And i spent the night doing cross stitch. something nice and relaxing and not much brain cells exhausted in the process.
Then it is work the next morning as usual and i swear i look like a panda. After working and driving for 3 hours, i went home for a good sleep in the living room. haha.
When i was about to fall asleep, my dear mama called and she mistook me as Ah Chun~!!! WTH. but anyway, after i end the call, i saw my darling Carrot enjoying her sleep on my pillow and pui her. even after me putting my head on her body, she still dont want to move away. rarr~!
but anyway, i went over for my Mahjong session with them as usual and after one whole round, we decide that maybe it is time for dinner at 9 plus. haha. and to think that we actually walked all the way to Lot one for fast food and in the end settled down at KFC.
hmm. i was extremely loud on the way home as usual.
AND we played till 1 am in the stuffy kitchen. -.- with Ah Pui being the entertainer and making everyone laugh.
and then Sunday was to driving lesson after sleeping till noon and then to Kallang for dance. (will touch more later) and then was back to their house and SEE them play mahjong. ~!@#$%^$%^&*
then was dinner at 10pm and then we went home.
hmm. i forgot when or where but i realise that i am missing her more than anything. It has been 20 over days and i am still feeling something whenever i thought of her.
i never know that there will be someone that will make me feel this way other than him. she is someone where, happy, in the company of the others whom she have always missed.
Someone told me that there is actually something that we should not have execute a few years ago. it just lead her to her end faster. but anyway, everything have come to an end, and i believe we are all enjoying whatever that she had brought for us.
Her death bought us closer. she let us have the chance to interact and play together and work together and until now, unlike in the past, we are meeting up more than once each week.
Whatever that is happening now are things that i used to believe as something impossible but it is all going on well now. i hope to make everything last.
and then went back to dance. there are things that it is difficult to put into words for others to understand. i am not heartless, and sometimes, it is just a matter of choice that made me choose to do something and not the other.
it is not that the passion is not there, it is just plain tired of things and nothing that i do can change things so sometimes running away seems easier and better, for me.
Nothing much about work these days as the market is really quiet.
however, time pass rather fast today as i do out all the invoicing and stuff.
i enjoyed it when there is alot of work! C=
Enjoying my Uncle Quaker Baked Apple Granola Bar after a busy morning and Jieyim is attempting to go on DIET!!!
It is not really a boring life now. it is just an excuse to get more attention.
i have interesting foreign workers in the office, maybe other than 2 who likes to stare at me. -.-
EMO-ing when i dont have anyone to sms.
EMO-ing when i have nothing to do at work.
it was a good time spent and hmm, dun bring the hopes too high.
First, Friday night, was suppose to go swimming but oh well, was pangseh by people and end up just laying around in my cousin's house.
I totally forget what we did but i know in the end i went home without nothing much done after the guys come back.
And i spent the night doing cross stitch. something nice and relaxing and not much brain cells exhausted in the process.
Then it is work the next morning as usual and i swear i look like a panda. After working and driving for 3 hours, i went home for a good sleep in the living room. haha.
When i was about to fall asleep, my dear mama called and she mistook me as Ah Chun~!!! WTH. but anyway, after i end the call, i saw my darling Carrot enjoying her sleep on my pillow and pui her. even after me putting my head on her body, she still dont want to move away. rarr~!
but anyway, i went over for my Mahjong session with them as usual and after one whole round, we decide that maybe it is time for dinner at 9 plus. haha. and to think that we actually walked all the way to Lot one for fast food and in the end settled down at KFC.
hmm. i was extremely loud on the way home as usual.
AND we played till 1 am in the stuffy kitchen. -.- with Ah Pui being the entertainer and making everyone laugh.
and then Sunday was to driving lesson after sleeping till noon and then to Kallang for dance. (will touch more later) and then was back to their house and SEE them play mahjong. ~!@#$%^$%^&*
then was dinner at 10pm and then we went home.
hmm. i forgot when or where but i realise that i am missing her more than anything. It has been 20 over days and i am still feeling something whenever i thought of her.
i never know that there will be someone that will make me feel this way other than him. she is someone where, happy, in the company of the others whom she have always missed.
Someone told me that there is actually something that we should not have execute a few years ago. it just lead her to her end faster. but anyway, everything have come to an end, and i believe we are all enjoying whatever that she had brought for us.
Her death bought us closer. she let us have the chance to interact and play together and work together and until now, unlike in the past, we are meeting up more than once each week.
Whatever that is happening now are things that i used to believe as something impossible but it is all going on well now. i hope to make everything last.
and then went back to dance. there are things that it is difficult to put into words for others to understand. i am not heartless, and sometimes, it is just a matter of choice that made me choose to do something and not the other.
it is not that the passion is not there, it is just plain tired of things and nothing that i do can change things so sometimes running away seems easier and better, for me.
Nothing much about work these days as the market is really quiet.
however, time pass rather fast today as i do out all the invoicing and stuff.
i enjoyed it when there is alot of work! C=
Enjoying my Uncle Quaker Baked Apple Granola Bar after a busy morning and Jieyim is attempting to go on DIET!!!
i have interesting foreign workers in the office, maybe other than 2 who likes to stare at me. -.-
EMO-ing when i dont have anyone to sms.
EMO-ing when i have nothing to do at work.
it was a good time spent and hmm, dun bring the hopes too high.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
.::HAPPY YESTERDAY::.
haha. had a happy day yesterday. lets list them out one by one. C=
Early morning, i was kept rather busy. or rather, i dont remember whatever that i did. then came the call telling me that the new workers will be coming in. haha.
after that, everyone came back and they start to clean up the place. its great to see all of them working together, maybe other than a few of them that i dont really give a shit to anymore. the rest joke and play through everything and i like that kind of feeling! and they tried to reorganise everything yet AGAIN.
i predict EVERYTHING will be in a mess in less than 2 weeks. ahaha.
then i made a call to Absolute Kinetics and i got the good news! i passed my supervisor course! haha. HAPPY! C=
then some stupid jokes were been shared and HAHA. something about me going into a tank and coming out only 1 week later. -.-
and went on to briefing and we were talking about safety about looking at where you are walking and not fall into a manhole or something. then the stupid tank joke came up again.
and we are been constantly reminded about kumar and his $150 fine. haha
then went off for my first aid course. haha. CPR was scary because the instructor was very angry.
but when it is my turn, i was praised for knowing my procedure. and it feels great when you are the only lady there.i feel that the instructor is biased though
then while the instructor is concentrating on the other's CPR, we tried out our bandage and when i have done mine, and showed to the instructor, i end up looking at other 'classmates'. then was guiding them until the instructor direct them to me, for me to teach them how to hide the fingers in.
okok. haolian haolian.
wadever.
then i had a pack of fries when i was walking home and MAN, that spoils my day! the fries are rather undercook and i had a bad time biting them. but i finished it nonetheless.
someone told me 'you seem happier with your new job' and i said yes, i am really happier.
and we went on to talk about some blur people that i choose to not mention here. YES YOU ARE BLUR.
who can i turn to to let them know that i am not like that? now i know what kind of person you really is. i should have thought all this through a long time ago.
and i caught the hint. and i think it is all getting obvious.
i went to ah ma house. and hmm. its 21 days le.
Early morning, i was kept rather busy. or rather, i dont remember whatever that i did. then came the call telling me that the new workers will be coming in. haha.
after that, everyone came back and they start to clean up the place. its great to see all of them working together, maybe other than a few of them that i dont really give a shit to anymore. the rest joke and play through everything and i like that kind of feeling! and they tried to reorganise everything yet AGAIN.
then i made a call to Absolute Kinetics and i got the good news! i passed my supervisor course! haha. HAPPY! C=
then some stupid jokes were been shared and HAHA. something about me going into a tank and coming out only 1 week later. -.-
and went on to briefing and we were talking about safety about looking at where you are walking and not fall into a manhole or something. then the stupid tank joke came up again.
and we are been constantly reminded about kumar and his $150 fine. haha
then went off for my first aid course. haha. CPR was scary because the instructor was very angry.
but when it is my turn, i was praised for knowing my procedure. and it feels great when you are the only lady there.
then while the instructor is concentrating on the other's CPR, we tried out our bandage and when i have done mine, and showed to the instructor, i end up looking at other 'classmates'. then was guiding them until the instructor direct them to me, for me to teach them how to hide the fingers in.
okok. haolian haolian.
wadever.
then i had a pack of fries when i was walking home and MAN, that spoils my day! the fries are rather undercook and i had a bad time biting them. but i finished it nonetheless.
someone told me 'you seem happier with your new job' and i said yes, i am really happier.
and we went on to talk about some blur people that i choose to not mention here. YES YOU ARE BLUR.
and i caught the hint. and i think it is all getting obvious.
i went to ah ma house. and hmm. its 21 days le.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
.::BLOODY HELL::.
'erm, next time got people call, ask them nicely, see whether they want to leave a message or something, dont let them feel that there is no one from the company in the office'
.::OOPS::.
OH NO. maybe one day i will just die in the office. hmm. i should try not to make the workers hate me. haha. but thats a tad bit difficult because jieyim can be VERY IRRITATING.
especially when she is PMS-ing, like now
hahaha. hmm. life last night was great! MAHJONG MAHJONG MAHJONG! Win like siao but hmm. no money come in because no money was involved in the first place.
hope i dont get exposed someday. but i predict that day is coming and that is tomorrow. =C
i am still coughing and my nose is still block. because i stop taking medicine MAHS... of course la. hmm.
hmm. and something to note, my boss is still not back yet. hmm. lets hope he will be back by the 18th.
... oversensitive is a problem. thinking too much is another problem and hoping for alot is a big big problem.
sometimes i am just contented being around, there is no need to be there all the time. thinking of different ways to start things up knowing that everything will end someday. although i hope that nothing will end at the end of the day. i always tell people things will be ok in the end. so who will tell me that things will be ok at the end of the day? i need assurance as usual. that is my big problem. and i am just like that. how to change the mind of someone and hint that everything is possible. OMG.
DIFFICULT, NEVER
lets hope that someone message me to entertain me later. C= HOPE
okok. i have CPR class tonight and i have yet to memorise the procedure. RARR
hahaha. hmm. life last night was great! MAHJONG MAHJONG MAHJONG! Win like siao but hmm. no money come in because no money was involved in the first place.
hope i dont get exposed someday. but i predict that day is coming and that is tomorrow. =C
i am still coughing and my nose is still block. because i stop taking medicine MAHS... of course la. hmm.
hmm. and something to note, my boss is still not back yet. hmm. lets hope he will be back by the 18th.
... oversensitive is a problem. thinking too much is another problem and hoping for alot is a big big problem.
sometimes i am just contented being around, there is no need to be there all the time. thinking of different ways to start things up knowing that everything will end someday. although i hope that nothing will end at the end of the day. i always tell people things will be ok in the end. so who will tell me that things will be ok at the end of the day? i need assurance as usual. that is my big problem. and i am just like that. how to change the mind of someone and hint that everything is possible. OMG.
lets hope that someone message me to entertain me later. C= HOPE
okok. i have CPR class tonight and i have yet to memorise the procedure. RARR
Monday, October 13, 2008
.::HELLO::.
JIEYIM IS HERE TO BLOG AGAIN
more and more people are not picking up my calls le. and its making me sad. hmm.
but anyway about my weekend, it is rather well spent la.
haha. i was suppose to go my cousin's house on friday night but seeing that it is my dad's birthday and my mummy will be at home, i said no to her AGAIN. i think she sad sad de.
hmm. went to enjoy our free sundae from Swensen and we met this super familiar manager that i suppose was my nanny's niece or something. but anyway, thats not important.
i crave for brewwarks' cheese sticks. they are the best. oops. i am not sure if i got the name correct. haha. iz that pub next to Igauna. C=
anyway, the cheese sticks at Swensen was DISAPPOINTING and yucky.
went to walk around in NTUC and also attempted to get shoes but everything FAIL!!!
we went to the pet shop thinking of getting a new dog for ME. and we end up buying a dried piggy ear for Carrot. it is really dried PIGGY EAR!!! at least thats what the shop owner claim it to be.
it was suppose to last long but ournaughty clever dog finished it in less than an hour.!!!! we couldnt believe it and even resort to searching high and low in the house for it.
oh ya, after the pet shop, we were comtemplating if we should walk home. haha. but ultimately, due to someshit personal reasons, we end up taking 190 home. so be it.
upon reaching home, i also forget what i did.
on saturday, i chiong to quite a few places. -.-
i went to work and after that, my boss drove me to the stadium at Jurong West. haha. i passed them the PSP FINALLY. and we went to jurong point after that.
i was darn drowsy from the cough medicine the whole day or maybe i am really just tired. haha. and after having lunch with them, i took 172 home to cousin's house. haha.
i slept all the way and walked dreamily to the block. and downstairs, i happen to see Ah Huat and this time round, i din overshot the unit. -.-
had dinner at their house before going out to get sweettalk then to play badminton..
had a crazy night. really crazy. crazy beyond description. haha.
and after a long night, we went home and i attempt to watch the documentary but the medicine make me doze off every now and then. so no choice, bamb. i sleep like a pig after that
should i go to class tonite? hmmm...
why are things the way they are now? -.- =C
looking forward to chalet!!! C=
ohya, the tap in office just leak again and the guys just came back from van pushing. the van and lorry are taking turns to break down. OMG.
oh ya, i dreamt of her again. this time round, puking blood and very sickly in the bed.
more and more people are not picking up my calls le. and its making me sad. hmm.
but anyway about my weekend, it is rather well spent la.
haha. i was suppose to go my cousin's house on friday night but seeing that it is my dad's birthday and my mummy will be at home, i said no to her AGAIN. i think she sad sad de.
hmm. went to enjoy our free sundae from Swensen and we met this super familiar manager that i suppose was my nanny's niece or something. but anyway, thats not important.
i crave for brewwarks' cheese sticks. they are the best. oops. i am not sure if i got the name correct. haha. iz that pub next to Igauna. C=
anyway, the cheese sticks at Swensen was DISAPPOINTING and yucky.
went to walk around in NTUC and also attempted to get shoes but everything FAIL!!!
we went to the pet shop thinking of getting a new dog for ME. and we end up buying a dried piggy ear for Carrot. it is really dried PIGGY EAR!!! at least thats what the shop owner claim it to be.
it was suppose to last long but our
oh ya, after the pet shop, we were comtemplating if we should walk home. haha. but ultimately, due to some
upon reaching home, i also forget what i did.
on saturday, i chiong to quite a few places. -.-
i went to work and after that, my boss drove me to the stadium at Jurong West. haha. i passed them the PSP FINALLY. and we went to jurong point after that.
i was darn drowsy from the cough medicine the whole day or maybe i am really just tired. haha. and after having lunch with them, i took 172 home to cousin's house. haha.
i slept all the way and walked dreamily to the block. and downstairs, i happen to see Ah Huat and this time round, i din overshot the unit. -.-
had dinner at their house before going out to get sweettalk then to play badminton..
had a crazy night. really crazy. crazy beyond description. haha.
and after a long night, we went home and i attempt to watch the documentary but the medicine make me doze off every now and then. so no choice, bamb. i sleep like a pig after that
should i go to class tonite? hmmm...
why are things the way they are now? -.- =C
looking forward to chalet!!! C=
ohya, the tap in office just leak again and the guys just came back from van pushing. the van and lorry are taking turns to break down. OMG.
oh ya, i dreamt of her again. this time round, puking blood and very sickly in the bed.
Friday, October 10, 2008
SICK SICK SICK
that has been on my nickname on MSN for quite somedays le. and it is being mentioned in the previous entries for MANY MANY MANY times le.
argh. i am not getting any better. hmm.
i am so free now, AGAIN. hmm. but i believe later things will be very chaotic. haha. i shall go try to see if the dvd are in good conditions. C=
oh tonight, hmm. its lao bei's birthday, do you think i will get to meet the not-drunk-him? haha. i doubt so.
thinking of going over to grandma house to bai bai. hmm. maybe i should, or maybe i should bring and ask the others to go along as well.
hmm. something STUNNING happened at work. oh my goodness, cannot image they are THAT childish. no other words to describe le la. really BUAI TAHAN.
byebye. thats all i can tell the person and we shall see what will happen to the company.
poor partner of his. trying to cover up for him and got himself into deep shit also. oh no.
hmm. we shall see. hmm.
TOMORROW~! WHEE~!
should i get off tomorrow to go to the docs? or maybe i should go in the afternoon? all this is killing me. argh.
did i mention that i have a funny mama?
Case One:
Mei and mama went into the new lift.
Mei pressed 5th storey
Come out from the lift at 5th storey.
Mama: EEK! how come look so different? How come we are at 5th floor?!
Mei: Its the new lift ma!
Mama: The new lift can reach 5th floor meh?!
Mei: ...
Mama: OH...! HAHAHA
Case Two:
Me, Mei and Mama sitting in the living room, discussing about my cough and flu.
Me: The instructor at the first aider course say maybe i am down with Upper Respiratory Tract Infection. He ask me go see doctor to get medicine and antibiotics.
Mama: Ask your go take the cough syrup dont listen, can recover de. And, dont take antibiotics, it is not good, later nothing can cure you when you get worse next time.
Me: I know too much antibiotics not good la... but i also dont want to take the cough syrup. No use de.
Mama: The cough syrup no use, better than nothing.
Me: Dont want, later get sudden bad cough and i will cough like crazy.
(I dont remember mama replying me)
15 minutes later
Me(attempting to sneeze but fail): I should have gone to get the Panadol for flu!!! my nose is super itchy and its killing me!
Mama: Buy what medicine? Take the medicine no use de la.
Me: ...!!! HAHA. you just now still ask me go take the cough syrup!!!! hahahahahaha.
Mama (suddenly realise that she is contradicting herself, laughing): Oh ya hor, haha. go take the hot drinks for flu and cold la.
SUPER -.- lor.... my lao bu. hahaha
Oh ya, this remind me, i have a difficult time trying to sneeze. ah. and it dont feel good to not be able to sneeze. :(
argh. i am not getting any better. hmm.
i am so free now, AGAIN. hmm. but i believe later things will be very chaotic. haha. i shall go try to see if the dvd are in good conditions. C=
oh tonight, hmm. its lao bei's birthday, do you think i will get to meet the not-drunk-him? haha. i doubt so.
thinking of going over to grandma house to bai bai. hmm. maybe i should, or maybe i should bring and ask the others to go along as well.
hmm. something STUNNING happened at work. oh my goodness, cannot image they are THAT childish. no other words to describe le la. really BUAI TAHAN.
byebye. thats all i can tell the person and we shall see what will happen to the company.
poor partner of his. trying to cover up for him and got himself into deep shit also. oh no.
hmm. we shall see. hmm.
TOMORROW~! WHEE~!
should i get off tomorrow to go to the docs? or maybe i should go in the afternoon? all this is killing me. argh.
did i mention that i have a funny mama?
Case One:
Mei and mama went into the new lift.
Mei pressed 5th storey
Come out from the lift at 5th storey.
Mama: EEK! how come look so different? How come we are at 5th floor?!
Mei: Its the new lift ma!
Mama: The new lift can reach 5th floor meh?!
Mei: ...
Mama: OH...! HAHAHA
Case Two:
Me, Mei and Mama sitting in the living room, discussing about my cough and flu.
Me: The instructor at the first aider course say maybe i am down with Upper Respiratory Tract Infection. He ask me go see doctor to get medicine and antibiotics.
Mama: Ask your go take the cough syrup dont listen, can recover de. And, dont take antibiotics, it is not good, later nothing can cure you when you get worse next time.
Me: I know too much antibiotics not good la... but i also dont want to take the cough syrup. No use de.
Mama: The cough syrup no use, better than nothing.
Me: Dont want, later get sudden bad cough and i will cough like crazy.
(I dont remember mama replying me)
15 minutes later
Me(attempting to sneeze but fail): I should have gone to get the Panadol for flu!!! my nose is super itchy and its killing me!
Mama: Buy what medicine? Take the medicine no use de la.
Me: ...!!! HAHA. you just now still ask me go take the cough syrup!!!! hahahahahaha.
Mama (suddenly realise that she is contradicting herself, laughing): Oh ya hor, haha. go take the hot drinks for flu and cold la.
SUPER -.- lor.... my lao bu. hahaha
Oh ya, this remind me, i have a difficult time trying to sneeze. ah. and it dont feel good to not be able to sneeze. :(
Thursday, October 09, 2008
.::here to post again::.
i seriously think i should stop posting new post like 2 times a day.
but dude. i dont care, i am just way too bored.
:P took a small nap for about 20minutes just now because i am really feeling very sick. i hope i can have the courage to take the saturday off.
and i now see the need to go shopping la... i need a dark coloured cardigan, or maybe a white one. cause apparently i only have one brown one that i can wear now. hmm. how long will this last, i dont know but i know it is all a want, not a need.
mama dont see the need for me to get a lappy so she is not going to help me with application of installment. sianed. so that means, either i wait till i am 21, pay full amount or give up the idea. whatever it is, it is going to be a long wait, maybe other than the last decision.
i am blog hopping and i came across alot of links to those young mommies blog. so interesting...
hmm. no ones understand how much i have gone through, how much i have done those years. i dont have the courage to say it out. even to someone close.
i keep thinking, what will happen if....
so many 'what will happen if...'
i am missing companies. i need people to go out with me. i need supper. i want supper time, better with drinking but i realli gave up on the idea of drinking, seeing what it did to me and how it worsened my cough.
argh. faster recover! ok, i drank alot of water today le hor.
hmm. reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply my sms~!
ARGH. my boss cannot sign off from cape town, that means he will take about another week before he is back...
and CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP. something stupid just happened.
i am eating alot recently, is my weighing machine spoil or something. hmmmmmm... how can i be only 47kg? hmmm.
looking forward to the occupational first aid course tonight! C= i like the way the instructor teach and conduct the class.
hmm. waiting for batteries to come before i go have my yun tun gou tiao! C=
but dude. i dont care, i am just way too bored.
:P took a small nap for about 20minutes just now because i am really feeling very sick. i hope i can have the courage to take the saturday off.
and i now see the need to go shopping la... i need a dark coloured cardigan, or maybe a white one. cause apparently i only have one brown one that i can wear now. hmm. how long will this last, i dont know but i know it is all a want, not a need.
mama dont see the need for me to get a lappy so she is not going to help me with application of installment. sianed. so that means, either i wait till i am 21, pay full amount or give up the idea. whatever it is, it is going to be a long wait, maybe other than the last decision.
i am blog hopping and i came across alot of links to those young mommies blog. so interesting...
hmm. no ones understand how much i have gone through, how much i have done those years. i dont have the courage to say it out. even to someone close.
i keep thinking, what will happen if....
so many 'what will happen if...'
i am missing companies. i need people to go out with me. i need supper. i want supper time, better with drinking but i realli gave up on the idea of drinking, seeing what it did to me and how it worsened my cough.
argh. faster recover! ok, i drank alot of water today le hor.
hmm. reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply reply my sms~!
ARGH. my boss cannot sign off from cape town, that means he will take about another week before he is back...
and CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP. something stupid just happened.
i am eating alot recently, is my weighing machine spoil or something. hmmmmmm... how can i be only 47kg? hmmm.
looking forward to the occupational first aid course tonight! C= i like the way the instructor teach and conduct the class.
hmm. waiting for batteries to come before i go have my yun tun gou tiao! C=
.::SICK::.
JIE YIM IS SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK
all thanks to me being stubborn about getting a drink.
and so i did, i drown down a 500ml of Carlsburg and *poof* i woke up with a damn jialat sore throat. i thought beer is suppose to be cooling?!
hmm. i did drown down 500ml of water before i sleep, i bet that minimise the impact/damage.
ok, did i mention that i had fries again yesterday night? =s haha. maybe thats the reason why i am half dead here.
thinking if i should apply for half day leave on Saturday. hahaha.
maybe i will.
there goes my swimming plans on friday night. i dont think anyone in the correct mind, in my situation will go swimming. but but but but if i dont swim, jiu not much other chance le leh.
oh poor adi 2 piece swim suit, when was the last time i wear u?
haha. so so looking forward to the chalet. =D i think i will go havoc and become darn crazy la.
but whatever, now the thing top on my list is to recover. recover recover.
no more fries for me tonight and i will leave the beer till next time le. or maybe some kind soul will finish it for me.
better dont be my dad.
OH YA! I get scoldings from my mother EVERY SINGLE MORNING! simply over the fact that i cant wake up on my own. OMG. and by the time she wake me up, its darn late and i will fly to work in cab. i should put a stop to that TOMORROW! C=
hmm. yesterday was the 14th day. hmm. i will remember i have a very cute and funny grandma.
tomorrow is my dad's birthday. hmm. but i doubt he will be at home. he hardly celebrate his birthday.
and i hardly get to see a not-drunk-daddy.
my life is still BORING like before. classes till 9.30pm from monday to thursday, and i am left with FRIDAY! tell me what else i can do?
sianed.
the impossible of the 2, the 2 impossible. hoping and thinking. maybe miracle will happen. stupid me. as usual
all thanks to me being stubborn about getting a drink.
and so i did, i drown down a 500ml of Carlsburg and *poof* i woke up with a damn jialat sore throat. i thought beer is suppose to be cooling?!
hmm. i did drown down 500ml of water before i sleep, i bet that minimise the impact/damage.
ok, did i mention that i had fries again yesterday night? =s haha. maybe thats the reason why i am half dead here.
thinking if i should apply for half day leave on Saturday. hahaha.
maybe i will.
there goes my swimming plans on friday night. i dont think anyone in the correct mind, in my situation will go swimming. but but but but if i dont swim, jiu not much other chance le leh.
oh poor adi 2 piece swim suit, when was the last time i wear u?
haha. so so looking forward to the chalet. =D i think i will go havoc and become darn crazy la.
but whatever, now the thing top on my list is to recover. recover recover.
no more fries for me tonight and i will leave the beer till next time le. or maybe some kind soul will finish it for me.
better dont be my dad.
OH YA! I get scoldings from my mother EVERY SINGLE MORNING! simply over the fact that i cant wake up on my own. OMG. and by the time she wake me up, its darn late and i will fly to work in cab. i should put a stop to that TOMORROW! C=
hmm. yesterday was the 14th day. hmm. i will remember i have a very cute and funny grandma.
tomorrow is my dad's birthday. hmm. but i doubt he will be at home. he hardly celebrate his birthday.
and i hardly get to see a not-drunk-daddy.
my life is still BORING like before. classes till 9.30pm from monday to thursday, and i am left with FRIDAY! tell me what else i can do?
sianed.
the impossible of the 2, the 2 impossible. hoping and thinking. maybe miracle will happen. stupid me. as usual
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
.::BORED::.
YA da ya da ya da.
hmm. i m bored AGAIN. and those that i was chatting with SUDDENLY disappear all together.
sianed. and i am going to find something to do before i fall asleep.
reading blogs, there isnt endless blogs to read.
i feel so crap now, cos i am blogging like a noob but so be it.
when will i get to mahjong again?! i want to drink!!! that seems to be top on the list for me. :P
hmm. evil. but hmm.
having class tonight. and not to mention about yesterday night class, which was C.R.A.P. i was literally drawing flowers throughout the whole lesson LA! not that i dont want to pay attention but simply the lecturer also dont give it a damn. so why should i care?
and i did something amazing after class. i went to eat fries haha. yum but hmm, i took the risk of worsening my sore throat but apparently, it got better C=
i said the salt from the fries will make me better! and it did C=
hmm. i feel like bitching about something here but apparently i shouldnt, i should put a stop to all the bad things. hmm. so as not to spoil more relationships.
hmm. i was wondering, how much worse can he get? he is evil. very evil.
i cant access my hotmail account. die die die die die.
i am so looking forward to YEAR END! faster faster faster.
i am thinking of 2, 2 that are impossible.
hmm. i m bored AGAIN. and those that i was chatting with SUDDENLY disappear all together.
sianed. and i am going to find something to do before i fall asleep.
reading blogs, there isnt endless blogs to read.
i feel so crap now, cos i am blogging like a noob but so be it.
when will i get to mahjong again?! i want to drink!!! that seems to be top on the list for me. :P
hmm. evil. but hmm.
having class tonight. and not to mention about yesterday night class, which was C.R.A.P. i was literally drawing flowers throughout the whole lesson LA! not that i dont want to pay attention but simply the lecturer also dont give it a damn. so why should i care?
and i did something amazing after class. i went to eat fries haha. yum but hmm, i took the risk of worsening my sore throat but apparently, it got better C=
i said the salt from the fries will make me better! and it did C=
hmm. i feel like bitching about something here but apparently i shouldnt, i should put a stop to all the bad things. hmm. so as not to spoil more relationships.
hmm. i was wondering, how much worse can he get? he is evil. very evil.
i cant access my hotmail account. die die die die die.
i am so looking forward to YEAR END! faster faster faster.
i am thinking of 2, 2 that are impossible.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
.::BORED::.
Jie yim is super bored now. and she start to scream endlessly recently. someone talk to me please.
hmm. i want a drink more than anything but i dont have any available kaki.
ok, i choose to not approach them. hmm. i feel like writing in chinese. at least there is someone talking to me online....
hmm. there is someone there that i feel like smsing but it feel so impossible.
hmm. i want a drink more than anything but i dont have any available kaki.
ok, i choose to not approach them. hmm. i feel like writing in chinese. at least there is someone talking to me online....
hmm. there is someone there that i feel like smsing but it feel so impossible.
.::something exciting::.
something great and exciting is going to happen in 2 months time. hope i can drive by then, if not i would have to get someone who can drive to drive us there. haha.
and hmm. talked to alot of people today. hmm. and... i dont know what to say.
i am thinking about all the wrong things and the bad things that i should not have. IMPOSSIBLE
But... we are all weird things, thinking about the weird things and hoping something from it.
haha. sshhhh. everything is in my diary. =x so old liao still like a kid lidat. haha
at least, i feel better these days although i still choose to walk home from central, i think i am better le. hoping....
and hmm. talked to alot of people today. hmm. and... i dont know what to say.
i am thinking about all the wrong things and the bad things that i should not have. IMPOSSIBLE
But... we are all weird things, thinking about the weird things and hoping something from it.
haha. sshhhh. everything is in my diary. =x so old liao still like a kid lidat. haha
at least, i feel better these days although i still choose to walk home from central, i think i am better le. hoping....
Monday, October 06, 2008
.::jieyim post more when is not happy::.
ok la, actually i am not really not happy or something.
other than the fact that my dad scolded me last night, the stupid circuit trip and for the first time, i tried to take a closer look at the circuit board and in the midst of going up the table, i step right through a plastic stool, with my foot stuck in the stool. other than a cut, we manage to salvage the situation and get the electricity for the aircon running again.
other than the above mentioned, i also have a bloody sister, sitting at the corner of my bed studying for her exam. did i mention that she start to take out her book to study only at 12 midnight?! and bloody hell, she asked me stupid chemistry questions that are so so so important for her test the next day! ok, i did help her. but i have the urge to send her flying to the floor any moment.
just when i shut her up when i realised its 12.45AM, i heard the holy sound again~~! and there goes my aircon for the night, the circuit trip again and we just decide to not do anything to it and just sleep without aircon. ARGH.
and i had a nicecooling night with my windows closed, door closed. while my mom and sister shared a standing fan at their doors.
tell me, how can i leave the room open when i have 2 dogs at home and a big pile of notes and worksheet on the floor just next to my door. argh. nvm.
and so generally, i have a reallygood sunday.
... hmm. actually, there is something good la. i finally decide on the chalet. just hope there is no pangseh cases. and hmm.
sometimes, somethings are just not meant to be. over sensitive is not something good. it is wrong. wrong for whatever i am thinking now. so at least i am still afloat.
oh ya. i got the sickening sore throat flu from work! ARGH~~!
other than the fact that my dad scolded me last night, the stupid circuit trip and for the first time, i tried to take a closer look at the circuit board and in the midst of going up the table, i step right through a plastic stool, with my foot stuck in the stool. other than a cut, we manage to salvage the situation and get the electricity for the aircon running again.
other than the above mentioned, i also have a bloody sister, sitting at the corner of my bed studying for her exam. did i mention that she start to take out her book to study only at 12 midnight?! and bloody hell, she asked me stupid chemistry questions that are so so so important for her test the next day! ok, i did help her. but i have the urge to send her flying to the floor any moment.
just when i shut her up when i realised its 12.45AM, i heard the holy sound again~~! and there goes my aircon for the night, the circuit trip again and we just decide to not do anything to it and just sleep without aircon. ARGH.
and i had a nice
tell me, how can i leave the room open when i have 2 dogs at home and a big pile of notes and worksheet on the floor just next to my door. argh. nvm.
and so generally, i have a really
... hmm. actually, there is something good la. i finally decide on the chalet. just hope there is no pangseh cases. and hmm.
sometimes, somethings are just not meant to be. over sensitive is not something good. it is wrong. wrong for whatever i am thinking now. so at least i am still afloat.
oh ya. i got the sickening sore throat flu from work! ARGH~~!
Friday, October 03, 2008
i dreamt of her
i dreamt of her on Tuesday night, dreamt of alot of roaches crawling around, surprised, i am not scared.
i was hitting the roaches and then someone told me, roaches went into ah ma's ear.
i wake up, realising that ah ma will never talk to us again.
and i dreamt of her last night. in my dreams, alot of us were in a vehicle. driving around and somehow, we see something and we all start to cry. because of her.
i walked past a funeral ytd night. i heard whatever that i heard on Tuesday night and it felt bad, really bad.
time will wash away everything. one day, people will stop remembering her and we will all stop crying over her.
i will stop crying over her soon.
i was hitting the roaches and then someone told me, roaches went into ah ma's ear.
i wake up, realising that ah ma will never talk to us again.
and i dreamt of her last night. in my dreams, alot of us were in a vehicle. driving around and somehow, we see something and we all start to cry. because of her.
i walked past a funeral ytd night. i heard whatever that i heard on Tuesday night and it felt bad, really bad.
time will wash away everything. one day, people will stop remembering her and we will all stop crying over her.
i will stop crying over her soon.
.::JieYim is SAD::.
I dint know she can affect me this much. i never expect myself to miss her so much, to think of her so much.
this all feels very weird, very wrong. i need company. if only she dint go away. if only those days dont end. if only nothing bad happen at that point of time.
there is no point asking who is right and who is wrong, because she is gone.
here goes.
i visited her on a Thursday with my sister, with my very very drunk daddy. on the way home, i 'scolded' my dad for skipping his job and going to visit ah ma everyday. i told him, 'i see her, i think she is ok and trust me, in less than one week, no one will come and visit her le'.
that sound harsh then. but i still said that.
the next day, i come home and my dad told me, 'really no one go and see her today'
i went to see her again on a Saturday. was happily telling her that the others are playing mahjong somewhere. she kept saying she want to cook and want to cook dinner for one of my uncle and herself.
then monday or tuesday, i heard she having fever le.
Thurday afternoon, a shock came. she is not ok le. i remember sitting there staring into space, not knowing what to do.
when i asked for permission to leave, tears well up without me knowing why.
it all feel so wrong, to have someone leaving me.
then i went to the hospital. ya, she really is not ok.
we were still joking around and then from morning 11am to 10pm, she struggled and then she is gone after meeting everyone that she want to meet.
i believe she felt indebt to her thats why she was the one that she was waiting for.
i dint see that moment when her heartbeat rate drop, i sent the ah yi po down.
anyway, i came back with people crying and alot of people walking out.
i stood there. watching and waiting. and we got to see her for the last moment.
i went down to get an aunt with my cousin and that look on my aunt face. shock? pale? no one knows how to react ba.
and thats the night end.
one of the days, someone came and i think alot of us were surprised and shocked. someone who used to take care of her came. she kneel down and she is in tears, so much that none of us can handle.
the next few days, all the rushing around and all my cabbing around and everything, everything became different on Tuesday night.
it just daunt on me and made me realise that my grandma realli realli realli passed away. the fooling aroudn the past few days is over, she is really gone.
all the walks, all the praying, i really dont know what to say, how to react. i dont even know how to cry.
she is gone.
this all feels very weird, very wrong. i need company. if only she dint go away. if only those days dont end. if only nothing bad happen at that point of time.
there is no point asking who is right and who is wrong, because she is gone.
here goes.
i visited her on a Thursday with my sister, with my very very drunk daddy. on the way home, i 'scolded' my dad for skipping his job and going to visit ah ma everyday. i told him, 'i see her, i think she is ok and trust me, in less than one week, no one will come and visit her le'.
that sound harsh then. but i still said that.
the next day, i come home and my dad told me, 'really no one go and see her today'
i went to see her again on a Saturday. was happily telling her that the others are playing mahjong somewhere. she kept saying she want to cook and want to cook dinner for one of my uncle and herself.
then monday or tuesday, i heard she having fever le.
Thurday afternoon, a shock came. she is not ok le. i remember sitting there staring into space, not knowing what to do.
when i asked for permission to leave, tears well up without me knowing why.
it all feel so wrong, to have someone leaving me.
then i went to the hospital. ya, she really is not ok.
we were still joking around and then from morning 11am to 10pm, she struggled and then she is gone after meeting everyone that she want to meet.
i believe she felt indebt to her thats why she was the one that she was waiting for.
i dint see that moment when her heartbeat rate drop, i sent the ah yi po down.
anyway, i came back with people crying and alot of people walking out.
i stood there. watching and waiting. and we got to see her for the last moment.
i went down to get an aunt with my cousin and that look on my aunt face. shock? pale? no one knows how to react ba.
and thats the night end.
one of the days, someone came and i think alot of us were surprised and shocked. someone who used to take care of her came. she kneel down and she is in tears, so much that none of us can handle.
the next few days, all the rushing around and all my cabbing around and everything, everything became different on Tuesday night.
it just daunt on me and made me realise that my grandma realli realli realli passed away. the fooling aroudn the past few days is over, she is really gone.
all the walks, all the praying, i really dont know what to say, how to react. i dont even know how to cry.
she is gone.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
.::The Rain::.
it has been raining these few days. it really feels very weird.
After all the fooling around and all the company that i had the past few days, now everything back to normal, it seems like we are all back to reality.
wads the truth? the truth is everything is different le.
i have heard so much, seen so much, even said so much these few days.
the void feeling.
true, when she is ok, no one cares. whats the point of me thinking now?
it is not sudden but it came fast.
speechless, dunno how to say. i think i am not the only one who felt this way
and maybe thats the reason why, the atmosphere at home ytd night feels so different from any other day.
not because we are all tired. but becuase we realise that everything has really come to an end.
i feel like crying. it feel so weird.
My grandmother passed away on the 25th September 2008.
i am not closed to her, but i enjoyed her company, i never hate her although she never really dote on us.
i am glad that she gave me such a big family and i am glad that she was there when i was unwell when i was young. but still somethings just have to end some day.
maybe to some one, we are all putting up an act. but i am sure i feel something and i went through more than what that hypocrite went through.
After all the fooling around and all the company that i had the past few days, now everything back to normal, it seems like we are all back to reality.
wads the truth? the truth is everything is different le.
i have heard so much, seen so much, even said so much these few days.
the void feeling.
true, when she is ok, no one cares. whats the point of me thinking now?
it is not sudden but it came fast.
speechless, dunno how to say. i think i am not the only one who felt this way
and maybe thats the reason why, the atmosphere at home ytd night feels so different from any other day.
not because we are all tired. but becuase we realise that everything has really come to an end.
i feel like crying. it feel so weird.
My grandmother passed away on the 25th September 2008.
i am not closed to her, but i enjoyed her company, i never hate her although she never really dote on us.
i am glad that she gave me such a big family and i am glad that she was there when i was unwell when i was young. but still somethings just have to end some day.
maybe to some one, we are all putting up an act. but i am sure i feel something and i went through more than what that hypocrite went through.
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