Friday, July 27, 2007

the going to be

HMM. my blog is going to reach its 400 post real soon

but anyway. that is not the main point.

hmm. it is just true that i blog more when i am thinking, brooding over something or simply when i am sad.

ok, i feel stupid thinking about it the whole day. but. seriously i dont like what lies ahead of me because i totally have no idea what is going to happen.

maybe aft NDP i will be left with totally NOTHING. yes, nothing. it is just that cruel. ok. depressing and emo senses rising. not going to reach the peak yet.

arent those past days nice, not the nicest from what i know. but at least they are happy days.

never thought that i will face this day. not so soon at least.

i will get it over and done with.

Maybe everything has to end

Maybe everything has to come to an end one day. just like how everything that goes up will come down. like it or not, no one have much choice.

we all know that day will come. but somehow i wish it is not that day. it is going to be someting that will burn me for the rest of the years to come.

be it this or that. there is nothing much to be done. if only we can turn back time? then maybe we will learn how to say no? MAYBE. there are too many maybe and too many things that could be done. but what is the point of saying all thiese now?

maybe to others this dont affect as much and maybe for some of us, it dont realli matter. the most important thing is still to get things over and done with, then maybe we can move on?

i dont know. but it sure is emotional dependency. i feel insecured about all this. how will things be like in the weeks to come? i dont know. hmm.

will everyone know about it soon?

maybe it is really a good thing that i cried them out. how i bit my lips to stop it. i cant even look up. that is such a sad thing. it is someting that i never go through.

ya, it is time to grow up. all these things are forcing people to, be it this or that. they are nothing good.

how to tell the world that? i had a hard time letting it out just to tell my mother. i m refering to this. i needed someone to tell this thing to, badly. in the end i did. i told my mother, i tink she is as shocked as i m. but i think she dont feel much after that.

one moment we are happily playing game on DS, the next something so crazy happened. hmm. so people really dont know what will happen the next moment. hmm. that is just so sad. i dint expected that. he seems ok that day.

Thank you for everything that you had given us. I hope this is not the ultimate end.

slowly, the world will know. and maybe by then the name will exist for the last time that day.