people say

maybe sometimes, love just aint enough.

but i think, maybe most of the time, love is the one great thing that no one can ever say he or she has enough of it

it is love that brought us through arguments and quarrels.

and to tolerate.

headache now. i think i should sleep

lost again

i feel lost. staring at the map, not knowing how to get there. even walking there i am not that sure. was always assuming that someone else will drive him there but seems like its a wrong assumption again. and and. i regret spending money last saturday only to realise that i am so broke now.

please dont ask me why and dont tell me that you people dont understand why i am always so broke. because i also dont know. and i hate the feeling now. so much so that i feel like crying.

i want to sleep early tonight. maybe i am just not getting enough sleep. i dont accept that crap. blah.

What happen when...

What happen when a toaster break down when you are dying for a piece of toast? And reminding you that it is not the first time that it break down?

Maybe it is time to get a new one. Or maybe something better than a toaster.

That isnt making sense like always.

and now. blah. it feels weird to have water in your ears. and it doesnt feel good to see your mother squating there having durian by herself, with the dogs around her, hoping to have some as well.

It doesnt feel good to know that you just disappointed someone. although it seems like a norm for me to cause disappointment in people already.

But then again. how do you work on that. put in more effort? I never know i was this bad. Yes, very bad. Beyond hope, totally not there yet.

And it doesnt help when you sit downstairs thinking of where to go or who else to talk to when you realise that there isnt someone around that you can speak to. Like before.

And maybe the only good thing now is me having the room to myself, switching off the lights and going to bed as early as i want myself to and hoping that waking up the next morning, something will just be different.

Or maybe, you werent fated to eat a toast in the first place. A toast can cause you sore throat. and it might be too hard for my teeth now. Maybe, it wasnt really the toaster but the toast in the first place.

Maybe sometime, what went through your mind at that moment when you realise that the toaster isnt working, isnt anger but just the feeling of frustration because you know that the same things seems to be happening again, and you are at a lost of trying to fix that toaster again.

Ya, maybe it wasnt anger. So what will happen when one day you realise... okies. i dont know what is there to realise.

i need to go get cotton for my nails and i need to get conditioner for my hair and i feel like buying proper pen and i feel that i should really go back to reading books.

I always wonder, why is it so difficult for guys to let girls know that they are home safely? hmm. i always make it a must to do that. and has been doing that all the while. so why do i even find it a hassle to do it now? never the case. i dont even know why that became a topic on its own. *shrugs*

oh, i got the water out of my ears. and my dog have nice teeth man, but with a slight durian smell now.

oh. it never feels good to wait for SMS...

Thats all folks. maybe i need to have some quiet time. Maybe i should go back to doing my cross stitch.

i have this feeling that tomorrow would not be that great afterall.

i feel like going back to work now and write all my film pockets.

.::I should sleep lesser::.

Hmm. So where is my current location? In the office and i am craving for durian... omg...

Using dear's lappy... i think the jieyim recently is very crazy. very temperamental, very depressing and likes to throw tantrum... i know all these, and i know i am pmsing.

maybe have the blood flowing and i will feel better. =D

but then again, it is good and important to try to make yourself happy. really. like seriously.

haha. enjoying the aircon and the quietness now...

lots of shopping recently, but didnt manage to get hold of anything personal. say shoes, and shirt. i badly need shoes. but then again. u need to get one that you really love is difficult. and knowing that i will be going out for walks tonight, i prepared myself with flats for easy walking. great me thought of that.

hmm. sometimes i think, maybe we are just so over whelmed and busy with things that caused us to leave out details and sometimes, make us thought that the other one is around when u are making a comment or something. so actually 2 days away from the office is quite alot, making me missed out things and information.

like seriously, there are things that i wasnt even present when things were being said. but then again, it is jsut a note that i realise. or maybe, it is really just me that has the problem of not being attentive enough. *shrugs* i dont know...

and now now, i am having some weird straining feeling in my teeth after lunch today... all thanks to that craving for sweet and sour pork. argh

and hmm. i feel like sleeping now. oh no. crap. this isnt something good.

and for now, i shall go and blog hop abit.. :D

The great day (01-06-2009)

Today was still a great day, today as in 01 June 2009

it is our 5TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY! YEAHNESS! :D

so it happens that it is Dear's mama bday and we went out for great food.

I TOTALLY LOVE YOU MY DEAR!

The time, the effort, the love and all the tolerance thats the most important and most needed thing

THANK YOU. while i am typing this, my dear is going to wake up in another 20 minutes time to go out and ferry the workers. =C

got to go check with the guys.

.The Weird One.

I just justified my conclusion today, just a few moment ago. Over a stupid File-and-Thumbdrive incident.

Hmm. Just last week, someone made a freaking comment on what i said in one of my previous entry...

'No wonder u no money, u spent so much on shopping and bought so many things'

Oh my goodness. come to think again, which part of the money that i spent was yours? i did rebut of course, just like what the usual me will do. And guess what the reply was?

'You still take money from Mummy'

okies. fine. so i did take money from mama. i think i took about 40 last month? but come to think again, i gave her 350 last month, out of which, 50 was for a debt from the previous month. So all in all, i gave her 300 for the last month and minusing the 40 plus that i took from her, i still gave her about 260? and again, from the 40, i intend to return her 20 cause i think i have enuff this month. so ya, all in all i dun tink i was being ridiculous in my spending until i took more than i gave my mum from her.

but then again, that isnt really the point... so i maybe earning more than you but did you even see how much i was left with after paying things every month? not to mention some of the debt left behind last month. so basically, i am left with about 400 for the whole of last month which includes the purchase of a pair of goggles, a pair of pants, a $10 dress, going cycling, the dinner, and collection of the gold thingy from queensway. so is it really alot and ridiculous for spending on those things? its considered little for a girl's shopping and to be frank, i really appreciate dear for all the love, effort time and money that he had put on me for the past 5 months. 01 June was the 5th month anniversary! :D

anyway, back to the stressful topic. crappish. hmm. was that list alot? was that list ridiculous? the amount that i spent on the pants plus the dress is even lesser than the freaking Guess wallet that you got.

SO my whole point was, did i even spend your money? i returned what i told you to help me pay for and was anything missed out? the boat ride? or was that offset by the subway meal that we had? i dont know. enlighten me please.

and then come to today, even more crap... i wanted some documents from her.. so i asked her and she told me to get it from The Thumbdrive from her bag. okies. no issue, no problem, i went to her bag, trying to find The Thumbdrive and couldnt find it on either sides of the bag. so i fliped up the white documents and her wallet and her bottle and TATA~ i saw The Thumbdrive in the plastic file. So, not knowing how to get the things out, i took out the whole file and The Thumbdrive fell out when i was taking the file out as the file couldnt be close tightly.

I went on to doing the transfer, trying to zip the files up and send to dear. then she came in... and after telling me what files to send and realising that we have trouble loading the files to attach to email, she proposed to transfer it to ANOTHER THUMBDRIVE (which obviously is from the company) so if there wasnt this case of transfer, you would not even have taken the second thumbdrive out?

and the next moment, while i was doing the transfer, she started complaining about me taking out her hard plastic file. -.- and messing her things up of course.

She was then so bloody sure that the freaking file is on top and not below some white document. so thats where the arguement begin with her feeling so bushuang, her usual guailan look. yaps.

I tried to explain what happened and mention that there was something on top of the file but the guailan TAN JIE BIN refuse to accept.

so and being the typical guailan jieyim, i tried to 'enlighten' her that THE THUMBDRIVE was MY THUMBDRIVE to begin with, so maybe she shouldnt have been so rude and taken things for granted.

Not to mention that period of time when she losses my thumbdrive and not knowing where was it.

Yaps, i have to agree, when jieyim is bu shuang, she just wanna find things to fight about. but then again, what was wrong this time? so i was suppose to keep quiet and let her think that she is right?

no one in the right mind will go and dig up the stupid file if it is really on top. because i believe and can visualise that if it is really on top, with just the wallet on top of it, it will have been much easier to open the file to take and not needing me to take out the whole file and before that, having to feel the sides of the bag for MY THUMBDRIVE.

so that leads to the big quarrel. maybe you should learn to be more appreciative. the thumbdrive didnt come easy... there is a reason why i got it. and then when i got it and mama told me that you needed it, i gave it up to you and bought myself a harddisk, also for you and chun to store things. but never in the whole process was i thank for it nothing that i remember la and at that time, just last year, for me to spend the money to buy a thumbdrive and harddisk wasnt something easy, because i was spending even more than what i am doing now.

but maybe to let you have the thumbdrive in the first place was something that i SHOULD do, not something out of my goodwill. that makes you not even considering getting yourself a thumbdrive or getting one to return me. so it has technically become 'YOURS'

crap. and she still think that she is right. just the as always crappy sisters that all my previous friends used to agree with me. Weird girl with a Weird Temper.