Friday, July 30, 2010

drenched

To be drenched and hungry walking to school from the car is irritating. What a good way to start the weekend. I seriously need to mug

Source

Lets be very frank here. You are the source of my frustration.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

late at night

I should be sleeping at this hour but I did something very sinful. I watched video till wee hours. And now, I can't wait for tomorrow night to come. I miss him.

Blog and video

I am here to blog because my video is not loading well! Argh. But I changed my mind. Bye

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Lost

Oh ya, I got lost again when I turned out from Kallang leisure Park. And I went all the way to Tanjong Rhu area. Driving past area where I once walked by before. I had that urge to alight and walk in. But looking at the time, I gave up on that thought. I miss those time. I miss fireworks.

My Day

Despite the advancement in technology and the fact that I can actually blog from my iPhone, I still choose to take the trouble and switch the lappy on to blog... -.-

Today, a alone day. There was tonnes that I thought of blogging while I was driving but now I forget every single piece of it.

Someone talked to me today. And it left me thinking. I have a choice here I know.

And I am thinking of going yoga with my friend every thursday. Shall see how.

And I think, although I have tonnes to blog about. But I am not in the right mood to blog now. Not now, so I shall go sleep. Hmm. All about work today. I wonder...

Whatever thinking that I am having now is so not right and so not good. Good Night!

Oh, did I share that Birthday was a blast at Tanyoto? So much laughter. Haha, thank you people for the Winnie the Pooh cake, the black dress, the dinner, the gathering and all the posts on Facebook. Majority involved Lawrence in the planning... Haha

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

A stressful drive back

I had a stressful drive back, all thanks to those taxis exiting the airport. Argh. They are just speeding and speeding and tail gating and tail gating. Super irritated.

And it could also be because I am not focused enough to drive. I feel tired recently. Maybe I have been thinking a tag bit too much recently. And as I was thinking yesterday, I can drive, so to me, a boyfriend who let me feel safe when he drives is important and I have one who let me feel safe when he drive.

And tomorrow is Auto Cad test and there is tonnes to be done this week. There is the Basic Thermo assignment, which is 10 % and i dont have a single clue, and there is the CRS powerpoint and presentation next week that I have to wear formal. And there is the accounts and the audit to complete before this week, and there is still revision trying to be completed.

And at this moment, I am glad that my friends arent free to meet up, if not, I will not be able to sit down and finish all that needs to be done.

For now, it is bed time before my laptop die on me because of low battery.

I still thinking of going Yoga, learn Piano, learn Ballet...etc... anyone?

Monday, July 26, 2010

Irritated Monday Morning

A rainy day
A bad throat
A blocked nose
A change in plan
A sleepy head
Phone calls that people dont answer
Bad network for others phone and in the end, me not talking properly????

Irritated. What a good way to start the week.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

To be frank

To be frank, I am abit lost here. Can anyone help me out? Haha...

On Monday, jetty jump, my braces cut my lips when I jumped into the sea. Argh. Plus the steamboat yesterday, all this add up to painful ulcer.

And some guy tried to talk to me. A joke for my classmate apparently.

And I was dreading this Thursday welding lesson but at the end of the day I got the right flame and everything was good then. But somehow along the way, something went wrong with the flame and all I got was an oxidizing flame that doesnt molten my parent metal. Argh. But at least I dont dread welding now.

My mouth hurts but there is still one thing on my list that I want to eat! Gelare Waffle. But it is at E! Hub (I think, shall go check it out). Tomorrow sounds like a nice night. Haha. Shall do that.

I found a good time.

And sometimes, people have an answer. It is just about taking a step out of it, if not, take a step back and look at it.

I want to spend a quiet birthday this year.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Note to self

Don't do and say things you will regret more than half of what you said after that. But how to put the message across then?

I dont want to be good till Friday

I decide to not be good. I will try to be moodless, if not irritated. I am tired of being good. And being about to fall sick doesnt make anything better when you are alone.

And I will try my bestest not to stay behind and work alone anymore. It is sort of redundant and I have my fears staying behind alone. The shadows and the idea of people of other nationalities staying nearby and a werid uncle creep me out.

And I am sleepy and I miss my dog, and I hope my Birthday dont come.

If it comes, I wanna get drunk. I swear.

I dont want to be nice and smile to people for the rest of the week. Let me get more sick so I can skip welding tomorrow. I want to skip maths tonight. I will go somewhere for a walk, like how I used to do.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

3 more days

I have a feeling what I want will not be happening.

Yesterday was a tiring day... Had jetty jump which was sure fun. The jump especially but after all the swimming and soaking in the sea, it gave me a headache.

And at night, things doesnt help to go back and find yourself with tonnes of reports to complete. So after sending Baby to the vet, it is back to office and work.

Baby has a blood vessel that burst in her ear flap. So she needs a minor surgery. I got trouble with the idea of paying for ktv this friday le. I am so broke! She was left over with the vet last night and we can only pick her up on Wednesday afternoon. Hope she will be fine and that Carrot will not ka chiao her when she is back.

After that was back in the office. I am glad that I choose to continue till 12.30 to finish all the past reports. If not I will have trouble answering questions today! Feels good to know that I have completed everything that I need to. I am thinking of skipping the Wednesday Maths lesson. Hmm... Shall see how...

And 3 more days to my birthday! Hmm... Or maybe I will want to spend it alone? Let this be the first ever birthday that I spend alone?

Monday, July 19, 2010

Supposed to be... But...

I am suppose to be doing work, if not, preparing a powerpoint for tomorrow that I know I will not have time tonight to do it. But still I choose to blog.

Went to Stream of Praise worship yesterday at Bethesdal Cathedral. Cool. It was really one of the best worship ever.

I kept wondering when were the times that the Lord really did help me through before. I have my doubts for him before, not until I realised something yesterday.

In December 2007, something happened to me, something that hardly anyone knows about now and something that I can never share with anyone then. That was a painful time. I was waiting and waiting and kept waiting. That is the first few times that I remember praying to Him before I became a Christian.

I was so disappointed in Him then, because things didnt go the way I want them to be... But after a long wait and all, things do ultimately, took a longer way but turn out the way that I wanted them to be. A lesson learnt along the way... But then, I never remember about whatever that I have said to Him before and I never credit Him for whatever that He had done for me...

And then life moved on and went on to other things in life. How he put people in my life and let me move on with things that should not be in my life. How he let me have all the things that I am having now.

Lets say this. The God is really a great and amazing God.

Maybe this is just another lesson that I am going through now. Painfully long and endless. And the worship left me crying. but walked out happily.

I was agitated on Saturday, simply over the fact that people no longer like to talk but choose to sms. I am disturbed by it. Over whatever reason it could be.

4 more days.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Friday, July 16, 2010

Something interesting.

I am looking through my old post and I come across the following. :)

List down seven qualities of my perfect lover[list the gender too]and tag another seven bloggers to do this

Gender: Male
[i]someone who will be willing to explain and listen to my explanations should something happen between us
`explanation is important... i mean.. i think i am understanding... do things got 交代 (jiao1 dai4) and everything will be fine with me... C=`
[ii]someone who is willing to call me on the phone even if there is no reason
`communication is important!!! d=`
[iii]someone who knows what i am thinking about even before i open my mouth
`so he can dig out all those hidden message that i am trying to tell him but have no courage to`
[iv]someone who can stand my nagging
`ok...not nagging, bu concern ok? if i am not concern, i would not even nag... d=`
[v]someone who will always try to reply every single one of my messages
`i hate it when people dont reply my message although i sometimes do that too... it dont feel good to be waiting for something...d=`
[vi]someone who is caring
`it is nice to know that someone cares about you... C=`
[vii]someone who will be there for me
`just someone who can be there, dont need always.. but most of the time, for all the good or bad things that i am going through... i mean that is what most of us want... company... someone who just understands... C=`
[viii]sense of humour
`so there wont be awkward silence`

Haha. It felt so strong there and then...

I saw something else that is interesting as well.

Smile, because it belongs to your face.

The weekend is here

I have the urge to go sailing. To be on board a vessel, travelling to somewhere. Be a crew on board. Even if it means that I am the lowest ranking and even if that means I am going to lose all connection with my world for a whole of 6 months.

Different people have different expectations and some of it are impossible to meet. Sometimes, it is about voicing them out to let them be known and be worked towards. But somethings are just impossible to be done.

But what is not right is to only let it out when it is at the edge of snapping. When nothing else can be done. Did u let others have a chance to explain themselves to you to let you know what situation we are in at the moment? Did u let others know what are the things that you are expecting? Sometimes, when it comes to work and even relationship, it is about compromising. Really.

com·pro·mise
noun

a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.

The definition of compromising... both party have to be willing to settle the differences together...
 
Yet at times, it is just about listening and hearing out and looking out for signs of snapping. Know it before it is here. Yet at times, you might not be able to react simply because you dont know how to...
 
Sometimes, it is about getting into this kind of situation to let yourself know that THIS IS LIFE...
Nothing in life is constant except changes. It contradicts but it is so true.
 
Time should not be spent on this entry... but there are just things in life that we need to acknowledge.
 
You can never please everyone. I choose to run away from people that I cant please. It doesnt seems to be the best way. I am not really running away, but rather let myself be in a situation whereby I have a choice to not be in the same environment with someone else, yet without being offensive. As long as the other person is happy, that should be the most important thing I suppose. Even if it means being alone... But I am glad that I am not. :)
 
Yet again, it is life that we are talking about here.
 
Believing that one day, things will be ok and it will all be on the positive side.
 
Things will be ok at the end, if it is not ok, then it is not the end.
 
Something random, and on facebook, I am glad that he is ok and doing well and happy. So the problem really does lies with me then. For a very stupid reason. But it is all memories.
 
Kind of emo and quiet these days except for this afternoon I suppose. Rubber bands in my teeth. Oh no... Hope it turns out well. Shall be diligent. Please.
 
Shall try to share a phrase or lyrics from songs every entry. Though I know it is not possible.
 
Something I am listening to recently.

我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口

My class was planning class outing by the way. Jokes and more jokes and some silly things that people said and done and I help to SPREAD THE WORDS AROUND. Like something that I will always do... haha. Sadly but sometimes, these are the kind of things that you have to give up when you are at this age and working I suppose. But I will still try to be there. At least for one day. If I can find my way. -.-

sleepy

It is just another sleepy day.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

So different

I suddenly feel so different from other students or other people. Is it what I have gone through? Or is it this is just a easier way out for my emotions? Or is it I just didnt want to change my focus and not want to get deeper into any other friendship or bond with other people after knowing that deep bonds can take away my attention and kill me in the long run?

Dance changed my future. Sort of in a bad way. I am afraid of that happening again. To be frank.

Lack of sleep

Lack of sleep is the spoiler for all kind of relationships. Work, family, friends, love ones. Totally.

Or maybe it is just me that irritates people then. Maybe I was.

Blame it on that stupid flame for gas welding then. Hot and sweaty and tired and to top it off, I am not getting anything right. That is the worst!

A F*** up day. Weekend faster come. I should be studying and catching up on Basic Thermo.

about life now

Now it is all about suffering with the iPhone 4 os which is super laggy. Especially like now. Argh. Letters appear a second later. -.- please give me a better os! And today. Hmm. I'm worried about tomorrow in fact. Seems like dry eyes is coming back to me. The drive back just now was bad. Argh. And tomorrow. Welding. Period. I'm going to wrap myself up so that I will have no fear of sparks and explosion and I will weld well! Heard a nice song with meaningful lyrics just now. 你要相信你比想像勇敢。 from 黑夜过后地一道阳光。 Good night folks! Shall resist the temptation to continue reading!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Who you are.

Somethings on Monday shone some light on me. And here I am to share... Who you are today is really what you did 10 years ago... Your attitude towards life also reflects where you stand now...

Someone said that who you are today is affected by the choices you made 10 years ago. And this I totally agree. Attitude towards life is another big thing that will affect where you stand now and how others look and treat you.

I met this one person who has countless amount of energy towards things, no matter how many setbacks he have in his life before. So many times, I gave up and all I choose was to break down and cry, or rather, I will tell myself to do something coward, and that will be to take time off work and ignore about everything. Taking time off work is ok, but not ignoring everything... I did that once... As for the crying, it is uncountable...

At times like those that I mentioned above, I wondered how he managed to tide over... How he get that willpower to do all that he is doing now... And to be constantly improving...

There are people in life who handles problems and issues at work very differently. Some people choose to sit on their work, everyday, day in day out, time passes just like that with minimal accomplishment. But he is always, if not, most of the time, spending his time on things that are necessary. Sometimes, people dont understand that cutting short every conversation you have with someone by 5 mins, you can have alot more time for your work.

Someone did something that day, or rather, someone failed to do something that day. Indecisive, slow, slack, not diligent enough, bad things. Looking at the status this fellow have and what he have, it just goes to prove that whatever that you have today is really what you fought for. Your fighting spirit in life and the right attitude towards life is one of the main thing that will affect where you stand 10 years later.

Someone commented that I am a workaholic that day. And that comment makes me realised another thing. I am not a workaholic, I am just not efficient enough.

Thats about all. This is a weird entry. Because I dont know how to write what I felt that day out.

Somethings are just so near yet so far.

Birthday coming. This year, there is only one wish on my wishlist. Something that is unique and special. But I am glad I become a reason for celebration.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Friday, July 02, 2010

Today

I had something that I wanted to share today. and just a moment ago. but i dont really remember.

I shall be diligent and go back and finish up my reports. So I will have a better weekend...

Oh, I read my friend's blog and I feel like going TAIWAN! and I feel like going Shanghai for EXPO and I am glad I am going to Hong Kong le...

I had two sleepy morning lecture. But I dont really care. Shall go back and try out the tutorial over the weekend. I need a swim. And I had macs again just now. And now my stomach is churning.

And it is a rainy day again! Let me get to my car dry please.

And another presentation down. Oh, I HAVE TO DO RESEARCH. Later. After 6!

Lets have pancake tomorrow!

I miss Baby! My dog...

Thursday, July 01, 2010

a bad night

I did not have a good night. :( I went home only to realise my sister sleeping on my bed when I already said that I might be coming home. :( and in the end, I had so much trouble getting to sleep. And when I was about to fall asleep, my dogs have to start walking around and woke me up again. Argh.

workaholic

I realise I'm not a workaholic. I'm just not efficient enough!