~*is this going to be another sad entry?*~
~*after so long?*~
~*am i really sad?*~
the time to write this entry is not right...it is not the time when i am usually the saddest... i should be the saddest around midnight... not now... or am i happy?
ok fine... i feel stupid... there are just so many things going on... things that i think i know...but i didnt choose to say... i mean... haix...
there are things that i am still trying to run away from... the more i try to say it out to prove that i felt the right thing, the more hope, the more the disappointment... and this should not be the emphasis now...
sometimes... maybe being blur and not knowing anything is a good thing... but i should be happy that i jumped out of one black, dark, deep and dirty hole... it didnt stay there for as long as i expected it to... maybe it is because of the fact that i am just so used to lossing...
who is the idiot who started that comparism?... fine...it is me... i didnt really planned it anyway... i mean it was not me right from the start...
maybe i am not that stupid after all... i didnt make any mistake even now...
i didnt say things that i should not say... i am safeguarding my own rights... that is what humans are like... selfish... i thought of myself first..
but why is it me? i dont know... i want the answer... can i accept what that is going to come?
blame it on my stupid sense... ya... the sense is stupid... that makes me stupid too...
if only i didnt sense, i didnt feel, nothing will have happen...
if only the one leading is not the heart but the brain...
it is so sad... i am just like that... how to sleep at night?
am i suppose to be happy or sad... i dont even know that now...
please laugh at me... or was i really really thinking too much and being a over sensitive freak...
do i deserve this?or was it really just a joke by heaven?
i felt different...
~*smile*~
~*cause you know you cant cry it out*~
~*nothing comes out from your eyes*~
~*anyway*~
~*who cares?*~
~*no one*~
i noe hu is she.i juz din say.is dis still a joke?can u tell mi wad is gng on?can dese end soon?
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