.::my life::.

the girl who use to dislike changes realised something.

she realised that maybe it is good to change afterall.

there are so many things going on and so many people growing up. hope everyone grow out of it soon and be ok again.

i know it is not right to blog now. the things that i think are very important to me are not the way they used to be now.

year after year, it is always the same thing. the same problem and sometimes even the same people.

to think back, i dont regret whatever that i have done, i dont regret raising my hand at that moment and making that decision. it added colours to my life but i believe i will be more carefree now if i did not do whatever that i have done.

life is like that. even if you regret, you still have to live with it. i dont regret. i took my freedom in exchange for colours. something that is worth it.

at least until now, i still think it is worth it.

what will happen if we are all gone?

the things and decision that i made during this period, maybe can make me feel better but i know the people affected by my decision will not feel good.

i have the intention to go for one and have decided to go for another one.

what will happened if i go?
will they be ok if i go?
will they make me stay if i try to go?
what will my life be like if i go?

they will struggle for a while. but they will be ok in the end. one might ask me to stay, but i am sure the other will not. my life will be less colourful, thats for sure.

or maybe, with or without me, nothing matters at all. but i dont have the heart to just go away with everyone and let him be alone.

i think i just need a short break now. bring me out to drink. i want to drink. ok. i will drink choya tonight. just abit. at home.

or maybe, i should have jumped out of it LOOOOOONNNG ago.