.::mood swing::.

~*i promised i wouldnt be sad because of you*~
~*but i realised i cant*~
~*i know you wouldnt be reading this*~

maybe just like what someone said... why is it you? i dont know... i feel like an idiot when you started talking to me again... because you make me feel like one... i cant control my emotion...

then i did promised i wouldnt be sad but then i realise sometimes i just fail to do that when i know what is really in your heart...

i think it is impossible but i dont know how to tell you... you are just so keen on getting things back to the way they used to be... but the other party somehow just give me the idea that it is impossible... so i can only see you continue doing things to try to get things back...

will you be hurt again... i dont know... but what can i do? i can only help...

why things are not going my way... why i cant tell the people involved what exactly is going on...

how to tell her the truth? i have been hiding it for years... how will she feel? will she be sad? i dont want her to be sad... she cant be sad... she is the best... why even let me have a chance to know these kind of things? i dont even want to know at all... i dont know how to handle...

mood swing... someone please teach me how to curb... simply smiling would not help... no... it wouldnt help at all... cause i find no reason to smile... i only know how to cry... and even when i cry... i dont even know why...

sometimes it is good to avoid touching on sensitive topic that may make me sad but it would not help much because i will still think of them when i am alone...

school time... who know what i am actually doing or thinking? seems like i am only trying to be happy... acting to be happy...

i dont feel like contacting you... i dont know why... maybe you dont even care... maybe i just dont want to be sad... but i seriously find no link... but yet i still dont know why... i know i always left you not knowing how to answer me... sorry...

i want a happy family... i want a happy blog... but that will never seem to happen... i never blog when i am happy... all my entries are just so darn depressing... i dont know why...

i know people outthere are already tired of telling me to cheer up and trying to find out why... to them i am just a kid throwing some tantrum... i know all that... sorry people... but dont care so much ah... because it is pointless to care so much... care so much for what?

~*cant he be someone who is better?*~
~*i know he is better than some other cases that i have come across*~
~*but cant he just be sensible?*~
~*sensible and not make her suffer?*~
~*i know she is great but i am not doing things the right way to repay her*~
~*who is indebt to who?*~
~*i dont know...*~
~*maybe he should just leave our lives*~