.::why like that? he SUCK!!!::.

~*i dont know if it is true*~
~*i let my instinct guide my way*~
~*i assume it is*~

ok...i know that was a wrong thing to do but i didnt do it alone... i did it with her...

things like that happened in the past before... maybe i was young then, i dont understand what is love, what is commitment and what is everything really about... but now, i think i do...

the same thing seems to have happen again... i have kept a secret for years... i didnt know how to tell her... that had never occurr to her... to her, he had only made the mistake three times... but to me, 4... including this, 5... it is alot...

i dont know why am i so disturb by this... we were looking through things and things just come to light late in the night... like around 2.30am, which is like just now? haix... i wonder how is she going to sleep tonight...

he once hinted... what will happen if i am with your friend? then we found 2 things that we should not have seen... 1-a 4D with the last 4 number of her phone number... 2-a piece of paper from both hers workplace, but surely was given by that third party...

all these are more than enough to convince me that he is with her... but i just cant believe it... how can things be like that? both are with families and attached...

yes...we suspected that another party was present all along... the whole family does... maybe i should not be writing this things here now... but i really cant help it...

my sis was so strongly against it... i talked her out of it... i get her to treat him with more respect... but still things are still like that...

tears no longer seems to be on her face... crying no longer seems to be an option for her... her only options now is to leave or stay... we are for leaving... but how will he handle it? what will he demand? i really dont know... and i dont wish to know... what will he do? i dont know...

he came home drunk today... should i be glad that this actually gave us a chance to check things out or blame him for giving us the chance... i rather be living in teh world filled with unknown so that i will never come to realise that the her in his life now is a close friend of the rightful and lawful her...

i feel like crying... it is not affecting me directly and i am already feelign so bad... how will she be able to sleep?

my instinct tells me that it is her... we got it right... but WHY ARE THINGS THE WAY THEY ARE NOW?

so lets assume that it is her... dont they even feel GUILTY?!

sometimes i hope that half of me should not be in this world... she should not have met him... she deserved someone better... someone much much better... she should not be suffering now because of him and for us...

i know i said i only hate one person in my whole life but i am starting to hate him too... he shall be the 2nd and maybe the her will be the 3rd...

this will be so tiring... hating someone is so difficult... difficult because i have to think for her... i dont want her to be sad... i can only put on an act...

like i say... it is normal to act in life... everyone is acting sometimes, somewhere, somehow...
he disturb everyone around him... i start to wonder whether every man on earth is like him... why cant guys LIKE HIM just be contented with what they have in life?!

~*can he get out of my life?*~
~*but i can i bear to see that happen?*~