.::I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE!::.

I AM SO TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH HIM >>>>

OKIES, I SHALL NOT POSE HIS FACE.

HAHA. I LOVE LAWRENCEKIM!

that is RANDOM. i know. -.-

i wanna go medi and pedi.... :(

and he is going back army soon :( and and and... i dont want!

*CRYING AND SCREAMING AND KICKING AROUND*

:(

blogging in class

blogging in class, after lunch.
Thats all the strength that i am left with ba, i didnt get the dose yesterday, and i doubt i will get it today.
It is just another 16days to go.
it can make my heart race for an hour more and makes me want more. The silence is killing me. Knowing that it might make a turn for the worse any other moment. And of course, i will want to stick to u.

.::Random Post::.

My birthday chalet last week was a blast! :) HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY.

photos are suppose to be up soon but i dont know where is the camera now. haha.

and now, today was suppose to be a rather good day... but the big fight at home spoilt everything.

But at least things got settled and everything is much much better now.

hmm. The BOYFRIEND went on a trip to China... ok, it is just for the weekend.. but it is bad... i am missing him... :( hmm.

this is the first time he went on a trip to somewhere further than malaysia without me since we got together..

today was a busy day and im glad that it is a busy day.. time pass faster that way and my dear will come back faster. :)

and the big fight at home... hmm. actually i am worry that one day i will lose him. but i cannot imagine living the kind of life that we have now... a big fight can happen anyday. and today, the doggies fought too. baby got a bad bite. worry. hope she will recover soon. if not, it will be to the vet...

anyway, dear! faster come back!

shall go sleep and go for my shopping tomorrow!

.::this was what happened then::.

I felt what i felt a year ago. Having more than enough time on hand, not knowing how to spend them.

I got the phone that i like, i got the pouch that i want. But i am not happy. I got all those with just me, i and myself to share the joy.

I think i just need a place to hide and cry and i like where i am now. I was glad that i have this place at least.

Maybe it is the world that matter. or i just dont have a world to call it my own.

shall continue to plan for the birthday party. i left the list at home, if not i could have send the email tonight. i think i should. but maybe i should go home. i was hoping for...

How to go home with swollen eyes? I hope i fall asleep here and wake up tomorrow.

I am hungry. maybe i should eat macdonalds. i want sweettalk. it will make me feel better. i swear.

but how to buy sweettalk when you dont even know how to order.

or maybe whipcream will be good too. maybe i should just go ahead and buy a can of whipcream and not care so much.

i felt the burn from the petrol cost. it isnt cheap, but after so much, i think i should put in a bit. so i did.

and i know how lost it felt today. how u cant find your car in the carpark and you are just walking around in circles. thats the worse feeling, especially when you are trying to find a place to hide for things to fall.

i still found the car in the end. and i am glad that i manage to get out in 5 mins? suppose that is something great le.

i think i should just get macdonalds.

one tooth is feeling loose and weird, the other is feeling swollen, like the gums are growing around the metal things. who to tell these to?

i need more sleep maybe. i need to hug the pooh bear to sleep tonight.

.::The very greedy wish list::.

**EDITED**
i was informed about some birthday gift that people got for me so here i am to strike them off my birthday wishlist! =D (01/07/2009)
**EDITED**

SO HERE ARE THE ADDED ADDITIONAL THINGS ON THE WISH LIST
A1. A nice little pot of catus for me to put on my table

A2. A new handphone will be absolutely great! E73? haha

A3. okies, i know there are more on my list. but i forgot as usual... A HONGBAO will also be good

A4. oh ya! HAHA. facial or medicure pedicure packages! haha. now thats expensive. haha

THATS ALL!
FOR NOW until i think of more
So here is the very greedy wishlist for the very greedy LADY on her 21st birthday!

1. Burbery Brit Sheer

2. A new watch maybe? =p this is what i am having now. for a good 2 years i think... but mine is in black and purple. i thought the colour was unique and versatile. and i think i was right!

3. E71? haas. or just something, a handphone with a QWERTY keypad

4. A long term supply of Kinda Joy!!

5. New dresses

6. New wallet

7. New bag

8. Winnie the Pooh big cross stitch or puzzle! I dont mind putting them together myself =D

9. A I-touch will be cool too! Or maybe the new IPHONE?

Thats all folks. its just a random list =p

people say

maybe sometimes, love just aint enough.

but i think, maybe most of the time, love is the one great thing that no one can ever say he or she has enough of it

it is love that brought us through arguments and quarrels.

and to tolerate.

headache now. i think i should sleep

lost again

i feel lost. staring at the map, not knowing how to get there. even walking there i am not that sure. was always assuming that someone else will drive him there but seems like its a wrong assumption again. and and. i regret spending money last saturday only to realise that i am so broke now.

please dont ask me why and dont tell me that you people dont understand why i am always so broke. because i also dont know. and i hate the feeling now. so much so that i feel like crying.

i want to sleep early tonight. maybe i am just not getting enough sleep. i dont accept that crap. blah.

What happen when...

What happen when a toaster break down when you are dying for a piece of toast? And reminding you that it is not the first time that it break down?

Maybe it is time to get a new one. Or maybe something better than a toaster.

That isnt making sense like always.

and now. blah. it feels weird to have water in your ears. and it doesnt feel good to see your mother squating there having durian by herself, with the dogs around her, hoping to have some as well.

It doesnt feel good to know that you just disappointed someone. although it seems like a norm for me to cause disappointment in people already.

But then again. how do you work on that. put in more effort? I never know i was this bad. Yes, very bad. Beyond hope, totally not there yet.

And it doesnt help when you sit downstairs thinking of where to go or who else to talk to when you realise that there isnt someone around that you can speak to. Like before.

And maybe the only good thing now is me having the room to myself, switching off the lights and going to bed as early as i want myself to and hoping that waking up the next morning, something will just be different.

Or maybe, you werent fated to eat a toast in the first place. A toast can cause you sore throat. and it might be too hard for my teeth now. Maybe, it wasnt really the toaster but the toast in the first place.

Maybe sometime, what went through your mind at that moment when you realise that the toaster isnt working, isnt anger but just the feeling of frustration because you know that the same things seems to be happening again, and you are at a lost of trying to fix that toaster again.

Ya, maybe it wasnt anger. So what will happen when one day you realise... okies. i dont know what is there to realise.

i need to go get cotton for my nails and i need to get conditioner for my hair and i feel like buying proper pen and i feel that i should really go back to reading books.

I always wonder, why is it so difficult for guys to let girls know that they are home safely? hmm. i always make it a must to do that. and has been doing that all the while. so why do i even find it a hassle to do it now? never the case. i dont even know why that became a topic on its own. *shrugs*

oh, i got the water out of my ears. and my dog have nice teeth man, but with a slight durian smell now.

oh. it never feels good to wait for SMS...

Thats all folks. maybe i need to have some quiet time. Maybe i should go back to doing my cross stitch.

i have this feeling that tomorrow would not be that great afterall.

i feel like going back to work now and write all my film pockets.

.::I should sleep lesser::.

Hmm. So where is my current location? In the office and i am craving for durian... omg...

Using dear's lappy... i think the jieyim recently is very crazy. very temperamental, very depressing and likes to throw tantrum... i know all these, and i know i am pmsing.

maybe have the blood flowing and i will feel better. =D

but then again, it is good and important to try to make yourself happy. really. like seriously.

haha. enjoying the aircon and the quietness now...

lots of shopping recently, but didnt manage to get hold of anything personal. say shoes, and shirt. i badly need shoes. but then again. u need to get one that you really love is difficult. and knowing that i will be going out for walks tonight, i prepared myself with flats for easy walking. great me thought of that.

hmm. sometimes i think, maybe we are just so over whelmed and busy with things that caused us to leave out details and sometimes, make us thought that the other one is around when u are making a comment or something. so actually 2 days away from the office is quite alot, making me missed out things and information.

like seriously, there are things that i wasnt even present when things were being said. but then again, it is jsut a note that i realise. or maybe, it is really just me that has the problem of not being attentive enough. *shrugs* i dont know...

and now now, i am having some weird straining feeling in my teeth after lunch today... all thanks to that craving for sweet and sour pork. argh

and hmm. i feel like sleeping now. oh no. crap. this isnt something good.

and for now, i shall go and blog hop abit.. :D

The great day (01-06-2009)

Today was still a great day, today as in 01 June 2009

it is our 5TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY! YEAHNESS! :D

so it happens that it is Dear's mama bday and we went out for great food.

I TOTALLY LOVE YOU MY DEAR!

The time, the effort, the love and all the tolerance thats the most important and most needed thing

THANK YOU. while i am typing this, my dear is going to wake up in another 20 minutes time to go out and ferry the workers. =C

got to go check with the guys.

.The Weird One.

I just justified my conclusion today, just a few moment ago. Over a stupid File-and-Thumbdrive incident.

Hmm. Just last week, someone made a freaking comment on what i said in one of my previous entry...

'No wonder u no money, u spent so much on shopping and bought so many things'

Oh my goodness. come to think again, which part of the money that i spent was yours? i did rebut of course, just like what the usual me will do. And guess what the reply was?

'You still take money from Mummy'

okies. fine. so i did take money from mama. i think i took about 40 last month? but come to think again, i gave her 350 last month, out of which, 50 was for a debt from the previous month. So all in all, i gave her 300 for the last month and minusing the 40 plus that i took from her, i still gave her about 260? and again, from the 40, i intend to return her 20 cause i think i have enuff this month. so ya, all in all i dun tink i was being ridiculous in my spending until i took more than i gave my mum from her.

but then again, that isnt really the point... so i maybe earning more than you but did you even see how much i was left with after paying things every month? not to mention some of the debt left behind last month. so basically, i am left with about 400 for the whole of last month which includes the purchase of a pair of goggles, a pair of pants, a $10 dress, going cycling, the dinner, and collection of the gold thingy from queensway. so is it really alot and ridiculous for spending on those things? its considered little for a girl's shopping and to be frank, i really appreciate dear for all the love, effort time and money that he had put on me for the past 5 months. 01 June was the 5th month anniversary! :D

anyway, back to the stressful topic. crappish. hmm. was that list alot? was that list ridiculous? the amount that i spent on the pants plus the dress is even lesser than the freaking Guess wallet that you got.

SO my whole point was, did i even spend your money? i returned what i told you to help me pay for and was anything missed out? the boat ride? or was that offset by the subway meal that we had? i dont know. enlighten me please.

and then come to today, even more crap... i wanted some documents from her.. so i asked her and she told me to get it from The Thumbdrive from her bag. okies. no issue, no problem, i went to her bag, trying to find The Thumbdrive and couldnt find it on either sides of the bag. so i fliped up the white documents and her wallet and her bottle and TATA~ i saw The Thumbdrive in the plastic file. So, not knowing how to get the things out, i took out the whole file and The Thumbdrive fell out when i was taking the file out as the file couldnt be close tightly.

I went on to doing the transfer, trying to zip the files up and send to dear. then she came in... and after telling me what files to send and realising that we have trouble loading the files to attach to email, she proposed to transfer it to ANOTHER THUMBDRIVE (which obviously is from the company) so if there wasnt this case of transfer, you would not even have taken the second thumbdrive out?

and the next moment, while i was doing the transfer, she started complaining about me taking out her hard plastic file. -.- and messing her things up of course.

She was then so bloody sure that the freaking file is on top and not below some white document. so thats where the arguement begin with her feeling so bushuang, her usual guailan look. yaps.

I tried to explain what happened and mention that there was something on top of the file but the guailan TAN JIE BIN refuse to accept.

so and being the typical guailan jieyim, i tried to 'enlighten' her that THE THUMBDRIVE was MY THUMBDRIVE to begin with, so maybe she shouldnt have been so rude and taken things for granted.

Not to mention that period of time when she losses my thumbdrive and not knowing where was it.

Yaps, i have to agree, when jieyim is bu shuang, she just wanna find things to fight about. but then again, what was wrong this time? so i was suppose to keep quiet and let her think that she is right?

no one in the right mind will go and dig up the stupid file if it is really on top. because i believe and can visualise that if it is really on top, with just the wallet on top of it, it will have been much easier to open the file to take and not needing me to take out the whole file and before that, having to feel the sides of the bag for MY THUMBDRIVE.

so that leads to the big quarrel. maybe you should learn to be more appreciative. the thumbdrive didnt come easy... there is a reason why i got it. and then when i got it and mama told me that you needed it, i gave it up to you and bought myself a harddisk, also for you and chun to store things. but never in the whole process was i thank for it nothing that i remember la and at that time, just last year, for me to spend the money to buy a thumbdrive and harddisk wasnt something easy, because i was spending even more than what i am doing now.

but maybe to let you have the thumbdrive in the first place was something that i SHOULD do, not something out of my goodwill. that makes you not even considering getting yourself a thumbdrive or getting one to return me. so it has technically become 'YOURS'

crap. and she still think that she is right. just the as always crappy sisters that all my previous friends used to agree with me. Weird girl with a Weird Temper.

.::I realise::.

Feeling tired physically. maybe thats why now at this hour, i am feeling slightly down... -.-



Had a great day, going around and going east coast park. And i realise things at the end of the day..



Just had a talk with my mother and i realise how strong she was and how strong she is now to be able to go through so much. How she was able to put up with the bad temper, the big family, the drunk husband everyday, the tiring work life, the naughty kids till now, the worrying kids that she have.



But maybe i never inherit those from her to be the strong woman in someone else's life yet.



I realise all those needs a lot of effort and courage to get through. Maybe all that matters was courage...



I always believe that sucidal people are people who are plain idiots. They had the courage to jump off a building but not the courage to face their problems.... They are just a bunch of selfish people who threw whatever burden they have to friends and family members by simply leaving this world and getting free.



And i realise, the amount of strength and courage that she have to put into her past life, was so much so that it might justify for killing herself and yet she didnt. The amount of betrayal, the amount of beating and arguing sometimes make me wonder why are they even together. And that makes me determined to not let that happen in my own life.



The past few days, there were great msg from her...



How she tell me to appreciate fate and destiny for bringing 2 people together, how things are plan and to look on the bright side of things, and like what she told me just now, smiling at things might just make matters better in someways and end up with happy moments. I know, ultimately, she just doesnt hope her daughter took the path that she took and have to go through great pain to worry about things and yet live an unhappy life...



That msg almost make me tear, even now to think of it...



Can i be unhappy tonight?



And i wonder about another thing... At times, when the fact is right infront of you, why will someone choose to not accept it? I saw the typical thing today and i wonder if anyone understand how bad he felt.



I dont know how can someone stand that. it is extremely unbelieveable how bad people can get. how they can totally ignore the main objective of the day and still scold the one...



then i ask myself, does he not see that or choose to not see that. and i wonder how to help him if he never let himself realise all that or just simply choose to run away from all that?



Alright. and for today, i had a good day. a really great day except for some small hipups here and there. but generally, a well spent day. C=



Went to work and drove the guys to work.



TOTALLY LOVE THE CZC! that small, convertible, manual and only devil in singapore! It is so nice to drive that car. the handling and the gear and the power of the car! I LOVE THAT CAR. ok -.- it feels great to drive a car that can 'move' hahahahah



oh then after that dear drove the van out and we went to pick the guys back from work and then we went forlunch before settling stuff and went home to wash up.



We went on to collect food for the bbq and that stupid road construction at wan lee area. crap. darn crap. all the stupid contractors... poor management!



and then was to the bbq and my slipper broke. ALRIGHT i need to get a new pair next month le... -.- not now. this month jieyim had spent quite alot on shopping though i dont really remember what i bought. =p

And how did i spend the night without my slippers? i was deciding between whether i should let dear carry me or should i wear his slipper then he go without slipper for the night. =p haha. alright, that was a stupid joke. in the end, my dear went without his slippers and i know that hurts!

on the medical side, it will give u a chance to transfer all the negative ions to the ground and make urself healthier. =p



i did bought a pair of purple pants that i think look like a shirt but i kind of regreted on the colour. but seems like it is still ok. Wait till the stock from uniqlo are out and i will got get the tank tops. =D



I need more tank tops!



I got a dress as well, spent on things here and there and this remind me. it is about time to list out my wishing list... =p birthday coming! and my fragrance is finishing and it is killing me to see it go down so fast. maybe will get some help with buying cheaper fragrance soon...

tata~! got to go blog surf and read my book! oh crap. photos not up yet. and i look ugly in those photos!

lala~

Haha... So this is how u feel when u r blogging from a blackberry.

that is to love

Thank you for sending me and the naughty one to SPCA.

Thank you for picking me and my mother up.

Thank you for that great meal.

Feeling guilty. for the things that were said. knowing that those are things that i wish to put across but also knowing that he did alot.

I LOVE YOU!

.::A better day::.

Tonight was a good night. the time alone, was the best that i can ever ask for. The smile and laughter and stupid jokes, were things that lighten everything up and made me forget how to cry.

Thats love. Love was with me all the while. But sometimes other things were put before it and it never weigh as much.

Not making sense. but one thing here sounds right. I love him.

.::What happen when...::.

*EDITED*
What happen when things that you thought of are deemed as always wrong?
can you dont always think that way?

What happen when there isnt much or anything else to talk about?
admit it, you are just worried that you will say the wrong thing thats why you stop talking

What happen when things that upset you are just every little things in life or every little conversation made?
to laugh or smile it off is the best way out, because nothing commented matters anymore

What happen when you realise you are never there, never enough and yet you can never want the things that badly enough to show people that you are trying hard enough. so what is enough?
mama said the expectation is always there and i am expected to be there

What happen when you realise you are no longer the one who made the one laugh or be happy?
how to let people understand that i can never be the happy one alone

What happen when you know that you are realising more and more things that you have to change when the old you was someone who was so resistant to changing anything in your life?
i know all these will bring me further and longer on, but maybe it is all too much or maybe i just skip too much parts in my life that i only have myself to blame

What happen when you realise there is no longer anywhere else that you can vent or tell people what you are going through except to write them all down and maybe one day people will understand?
or maybe mama can do the job, but how to let her know all these when i know that nothing she say can help anymore.

What happen when you realise that you can no longer ask for more when you were told that you already have alot and should be contented?
what about asking for more. somethings are just so deep inside that i dont even know what i really want so how do i even ask for it. or maybe something to begin with, i need someone to just ask me about a scratch that i had.

What happen when you realise that you can no longer be that weak one who cry all the time?
staring into space and going through all the bad things help because as times goes by, nothing feel that bad anymore like now

What happen when you realise you are always deem as being negative?
i am negative to begin with. believe in horoscope and you will know that the negative cancer is super negative or maybe people will just think that it is me

What happen when you realise no one is talking to you online le?
you didnt talk to anyone to begin with

What happen when you realise that all these unhappiness will only bring more anger and yet you still choose to say them here?
hoping that one day what i get will not be frustration or anger in return

What happen when you know that all the while what others want is understanding and that is also what you want?
i know i dont know what i need someone to understand but i do know that the amount of things that others goes through is deem to be more worse off then what i went through[which i agree (in fact, people think that there is nothing in my life that is bad at the moment and therefore nothing needs to be taken into consideration for being understanding.) ] mine is really nothing but does being understanding means putting up with all frustration and irritation? or really it is only me to be blame?

What happen when a new day begins tomorrow?
nothing much will change or maybe i should hope for the days before the terms begin, and i will still be the one who will smile at things.

Nothing much matters anymore because when you realise people around you are jumping at you, you can only convince your own self that you have only yourself to blame. Things that you say are always wrong, things that you commented will send irritated looks flying your way from even OTHER people, you have only yourself to blame.

You are not there yet. Not up to expectation yet.

But one thing is for sure. I am like that because of LOVE

Personality test

My personality test: http://www.ipersonic.com/test.html

My Type: Dreamy Idealists

Dreamy Idealists are very cautious and therefore often appear shy and reserved to others. They share their rich emotional life and their passionate convictions with very few people. But one would be very much mistaken to judge them to be cool and reserved. They have a pronounced inner system of values and clear, honourable principles for which they are willing to sacrifice a great deal. Joan of Arc or Sir Galahad would have been good examples of this personality type. Dreamy Idealists are always at great pains to improve the world. They can be very considerate towards others and do a lot to support them and stand up for them. They are interested in their fellow beings, attentive and generous towards them. Once their enthusiasm for an issue or person is aroused, they can become tireless fighters.

For Dreamy Idealists, practical things are not really so important. They only busy themselves with mundane everyday demands when absolutely necessary. They tend to live according to the motto “the genius controls the chaos” - which is normally the case so that they often have a very successful academic career. They are less interested in details; they prefer to look at something as a whole. This means that they still have a good overview even when things start to become hectic. However, as a result, it can occasionally happen that Dreamy Idealists overlook something important. As they are very peace-loving, they tend not to openly show their dissatisfaction or annoyance but to bottle it up. Assertiveness is not one of their strong points; they hate conflicts and competition. Dreamy Idealists prefer to motivate others with their amicable and enthusiastic nature. Whoever has them as superior will never have to complain about not being given enough praise.

As at work, Dreamy Idealists are helpful and loyal friends and partners, persons of integrity. Obligations are absolutely sacred to them. The feelings of others are important to them and they love making other people happy. They are satisfied with just a small circle of friends; their need for social contact is not very marked as they also need a lot of time to themselves. Superfluous small talk is not their thing. If one wishes to be friends with them or have a relationship with them, one would have to share their world of thought and be willing to participate in profound discussions. If you manage that you will be rewarded with an exceptionally intensive, rich partnership. Due to their high demands on themselves and others, this personality type tends however to sometimes overload the relationship with romantic and idealistic ideas to such an extent that the partner feels overtaxed or inferior. Dreamy Idealists do not fall in love head over heels but when they do fall in love they want this to be a great, eternal love.

AT WORK
As a Dreamy Idealist you are one of the introverted personality types. Therefore you prefer a quiet work environment where you can intensively deal with your responsibilities and are not disturbed by too many people and repeated distractions. You need a lot of time to dwell on your thoughts, to put them into words, and let your ideas take shape.You are grateful for a certain measure of order and structure because they secure the time to achieve this so you can deal with one task after the other and not have to juggle a number of responsibilities at once - you don’t like that because it is important to you to deal with things thoroughly. Your capability to concentrate is unusually great and very often you become engrossed in something and forget everything around you - even to eat and drink.Nevertheless, because you are very adaptable, congenial and interested in harmony and cooperation, you enjoy working together with others. A neighborhood that requires the ability to assert yourself and where direct confrontations are the order of the day is not your optimal environment. In order to permit you to fully develop your ability you need an environment that is as stress free as possible. If you can’t get that you soon suffer, because you take critique and negative feedback very personally.

AT LOVE
Fantasies, dreams, and ideals, play an important role in your life. In your heart, you carry visions of a better world where the wolf plays with the lamb, and the creeks carry milk and honey. Naturally, this also applies to the subject of love. You are absolutely convinced that your perfect other half with whom you can merge into the perfect oneness, exists somewhere in this world. You are obviously aware that this extraordinary gift won’t just land in your lap, but you are willing to wait for a long time and sacrifice a lot, if necessary, to reach this vital goal. “Per aspera ad astra,” or “Through the night to the light,” is your motto. As all Idealists, you tend to raise your chosen partner up on a sky-high pedestal - especially at the beginning of a relationship. Essentially, you have excellent insight into human nature but when you are in love, you obviously throw all of that out the window. That can be the only explanation why you aren’t able to see even the smallest blemish on this person. “Idealizing” does not even begin to describe this process, „idolizing“ is probably closer to the truth. All the way up there on that pedestal, your partner is probably already getting dizzy and asking him/herself what he/she has done to deserve this unconditional adoration in the first place. But then, who would not like to see him-/herself mirrored as the perfect person in the eyes of a loving other? On the other hand, it is a real challenge to meet your ideal of love and romance in everyday life. Sooner or later, you are going to be disappointed to find out that you haven’t gotten a hold of an angel nor a superman, but just a normal person with all the inherent strengths and weaknesses. Now the question is, can you love your partner as he/she is and not as you would like for him/her to be?

The love of my life

Love picked me up and took me out. just like how he always do and how he did about 10 months ago.

letting me know that i deserve better and that he can show me the world.

but to me, the silly one, only to realise that he is there only after he picked me up.

and when i am down, shutting down all forms of connection with him, yet at the end of the day, i always know that he is there.

that is the reason why my world revolve around him. and why it is him and why he is the one.

i know he is there, and Love will be there.

and you know who you are. I LOVE YOU!

hmm. korea photos... coming coming. =D

how it feel to be abandoned

i think the feeling is right at this moment.

there are so many things that i have to learn, in fact everything that was with me for the past few years doesnt seem right. i have to relearn them.

and that includes learning how to not plan your time in according to one person and in the end realise that you are alone to spend the time that you planned.

the first time since a while ago.

take the chance to clear your mind and hope.

.small things in life.

to be able to convey something across nicely. and not end up with something bad.

avoid getting on people's nerves and avoid making people angry making me dont know what to talk about.

didnt acknowledge doesnt mean didnt notice or realise.

or maybe i am just so dumb but i did realise