.::dun blame me::.

`dun blame me
that is the title.

ok. i typed and i lost the post and my sister laughing at me.

and here are some annoucement.

sorry i din turn up for ROD.

and please get well soon

`and you better stop it this sunday. before i go to the extreme. C=

.::something::.

Let what happened in our past be our painful memories
Memories to remind us never to repeat history

Let what we have in our present to be treasured
Treasures to lead us to more futures

Let what we may come in our future be our training
Training to bring us to our together destiny

Remember our together past, treasure our together present
Guide us to our destinated future, together C=

.::yipee!::.

~*i am bored*~
~*actually tired too*~

ok. i was so looking forward to tomorrow when things just got postponed one by one. rarr. nevermind, maybe i can continue to be a maid. hee.

so this few days, nothing much done, just travelling around. but i happy. haha.

faster recover. rarr.

so i am so darn bored and i suddenly feel like going shopping, but my consultant not feeling well and has totally no time for me now. haha. so i am so looking forward to next week and the week after next and especially christmas!!! C=

blink blink. maybe i should go and do somethings now. omg. haha. i feel like munching on chips again. ya. i bought a packet. oops. haha..

i m waiting. waiting. waiting. haha. sianed

what should i do tomorrow?!!! rarr. lol. audition is boring.

that was random. i think thats all, i cant type anymore, or else i will have to split the entry into 2 like the previous one AGAIN. and maybe i can search for a new blogskin? or maybe some kind soul will make one nice nice one for me? C=

~*smiles*~
~*take care*~
~* C= *~
`my mama said 'aiyo, weather not good, drink more water ah.'
`i replied 'aiyo, its gastric la.'

.::2nd entry::.

so here is what Cancer says about me:
She is not a jealous type, but possessive. The best part of her is that she will sacrifice everything for her love one with no limit. Don't leave her in times of troubles, she will never forget it. She is not a weak type, even she looks like one, Example if you argue with her, she might cry her heart out. Once you left, she will wipe her tears and start clean up her apartment normally.

so here is what Leo says about me:
She can be mad and act like a hurricane, and later can be like an innocent kitten

LOL. haha. anyway. i should not be laughing right now. i dont feel like laughing duh. hmm. lets hope for a better tomorrow.

FASTER RECOVER!!! WE ARE GOING SWIMMING THIS SATURDAY!!!! FASTER.

~*smiles*~
~*let me return that with more LOVE*~
~* C= *~

.::SAD? whats that?::.

~*HAHAHAHAHA*~
~*i am more than ok.*~
~*i am totally FINE*~

yea. so things happened and things get settled. there are just somethings that i can do and i cant do.

i din really know what to reply, thats why i din reply till this morning when i was told that i should. i think maybe i sounded harsh. but i can tell you, if i replied you last night, the reply will be much worse. ALOT worse.

so things are somehow settled on my part and we shall see what will happen on the coming days.

there are somethings that, if i want to make myself feel better, someone will have to take the impact, and if i dont want to let anyone take the impact, i have to be the one thinking.

i made my stand clear. and no more i-used-to-not-mind-but-i-mind-now things. we all know what it is. hahas.

and please. for those who dont know a single bloody shit about things, i suggest you better shut up. there is a limit to everything. EVERYTHING. C=

ok. i think some of us also know who we are refering to.

and now, to my nickname on msn. it is a total joke, not totally directed at someone but rather another one. ok. fine. both. but more to one of them. TANGBAO. mauaahhahahahaha. who knows who is TANGBAO? hahahahaha. this is a crazy joke. we will continue our joke this sunday with Lye Yee and Mei Chen. hmm. seems wrong ah. but they totally have no idea who TANGBAO is anyway. muahahhahaa.

i had the craziest night and i had the worst experience. no more will be coming. C=

and i realise i am actually QUITE possessive. haha. oops. there is a limit. MY limit. i know i have a super weird character. rarr. whatever. haha. I AM POSSESSIVE. so what? haha. but i think i am not OVER. because my horoscope says so. as you can see. i am half of Leo and Cancer. hehe.

.::LIFE AFTER ANYHOW ART?::.

~*yea*~
~*i meant to caps the title*~
~*its time to change a skin?*~

hehe. today, ok la. other than the fact that someone tricked me into going kallang so early. oops. weihong, i am so not refering to you. muahhaha

but anyway, thanks to his sleepiness, i got treated. haha. my free lunch. HEHE

so, these few days, i see more and learn more and i run away more.

cant understand. how to shut people up? it is super duper irritating. rarr.

i dont know. hmm. i think i am mean and i was mean and i think i should stop and shut up and dont bad mouth anymore.

hmm. when are we going out? :D

and i feel so like a cinderella on my prom night. C=

with love, dont you feel jealous? :D

oops. good friends and every other nice thing and a nice him makes the night the nicest night

ok. thats all.

~*smile*~

.::my PROM::.

~*19 pins*~
~*and 2 rubber bands*~
~*and less than 2 hours*~

thats me. and my dress and my heels. cant see. it hurts. and waiting for more photos. C=

thanks to Suyin for her grand dad paying for our MAKE OVER

thanks to jiebin for lending me her heels

thanks to mama for getting me that handbag a long time ago

and a BIG THANKS to DEAR for sending me home and paying for more than half for my prom dress and for that nice nice necklace. he spent more than i did for MY prom. -.-

~*thats all folks*~
~* C= *~

my first photo after my makeover

.::woots::.

~*the long wanted post*~

a post after the helly exams. so here it is. i had a few busy days but the good thing is i got a prom dress and i only paid half of it. feeling loved. hehe. cool.

then there are quite a few things up in my mind. like it or not, it is there. but it is other people's thinking, i cant do anything. i can only ask myself why. and for all that i know, there is a ton of work waiting to be done.

it feels bad, to realise that at the end of the day, u dont have a single idea what you are really busy with for the whole day.

anyway. hmm. i am back to the topic about hope and maybe how to get your love return. i am being abit bad here. but i just dont really feel good. anyway. this things should not be here. it should be in that holy book that is only read by me and someone that has yuan fen with it. haha. excluding my sisters that is. they like to ransack my stuff.

oh ya. back to my dress. abit ex. but iz filled with love, dont you just agree?my sis say wear liao even look more fat. rarr. but i dun care. haha. so? haha. muahahahhaahaha. see the happy smile? hahahhaha

ok. then here is the rest. actually nothing much. who is interested in watching the performance on 9th dec at PA? only 3 buckx for one ticket. come get it. i have quite alot with me now. hahah.

hmm. i feel pig. i woke up at 2 today!!ok. fine, its 1.30 haha. late right. so super tired. more to maple. haha. no. cannot job adv.

haha. go update your blog idiot. blah. hahaha. but i bet you will only be reading this entry 17 days later. haha. like how you only read the previous entry YESTERDAY? hahaha. where is the entry to sentosa???????????????? hahhhahaha. oh ya. i went to sentosa to get stuck in the rain. hahaha. funny right? muahahhaha

~*ok fine*~
~*thats all*~
~*smile. with love*~
~* C= *~

~*hard to know where*~
~*so we have to try*~
~*but will a wrong step give you a second chance?*~

i went to auntie house today and i came across this article that someone got from Johor today. Ya. apparently someone so free went back in to johor to do her hair. there is this girl who met this guy by chance, they are living in different states in Malaysia. so they got togther when the girl accidentally dial the wrong number and fate brought them together..

after some time, they got together on the phone and sms without meeting up. no chance to meet up. they live far apart. though they did exchange pictures of their own.

then when they are togther, the guy start to work and the girl gets real understanding. she no longer demand that much from him, knowing that he is tired from his work, he will tell him to go and rest and not need to talk to her on the phone. not everyday anymore, not like how they used to be.

then as time goes by, seems like her understanding and ti tie are going the wrong way.and what is the ultimate result? they broke up after a fight.

so how to draw the lines?

i bet this is something difficult for all girls. how to be understanding and yet not let the person be used to not having you around? every guy is nice when they are not together with you yet. but...

so accept the fact that people change and accept the fact that guys are usually more obsessed with games than girls are.

so should all girls be understanding and let the guys have their game before getting back to them? in the life of people around me. the guy can go out as and when he like. but the girl?he is always there to haunt him. ya. this is a bit way too far, but maybe that is just a form of concern? at least he look for you. this is also maybe the guy lead a discipline life. that is what i have being hearing from her though

so. who knows where to draw the line between being understanding and being caring and concern.?

what will you get from overly understanding?

totally not bothering the guy and let him not realise that your are actually shifting further and further apart?

~*nothing much to say*~

.::nothing is right::.

~*so i thought i wouldnt blog*~
~*but i am doing it now*~

THIS BLOODY BLOGGER BETTER BE ABLE TO PUBLISH THIS POST.

what the hell la. what is wrong la. some withdrawal sytomps ah??

rarr. faster go sleep. what the hell. why wun they go sleep.

before i break down.

that is the effect that A level has on me. ok. or am i PMS-ing AGAIN?

annoucement. so it is the rise in progesterone level that is giving me all this problems? most prob.

rarr

.::hmm::.

~*i dont know*~

so it is time to accept this and ya. i am not ok today. but i am ok now

so things should actually take out and say. i know i caused trouble.

i am afraid of the day when it really reach the limit and i hear something that i dont wish to hear.

so i actually wanted to meet up today but i didnt. woah. hmm. ok.

so tomorrow. i feel like going to swimming. i hope i can. but i cant. i am going out to study. i will study k. hmm. haas.

~*smiles*~
~*stand up strong*~

.::when everythings starts::.

~*i post this depressing post in MY SPACE*~
~*anyway, i am ok*~

so, everything started and the most impossible person has a blog and some people have new blogs and i am all so curious about their lives!!! C= cant wait till As is over. C=

many things up and coming and it is certainly going to be a great time to work and gossip and so to all out there, smile and jiayou and this race will be over soon! C=

i am starting to not veri like blogger. i just cant post sometimes. hmm. i hope i can post this time round. it just spoils my mood when i cant post.

and come on. i am into knitting. and next is puzzle and next is cross stitch. C= so much more. i hav the time after As. C=

~*so smile*~
`it will be U and U and U and U multiply by infinite, Nth terms. C=

.::Much Missed::.

~*suddenly feel down*~
~*memories is the thing*~

i am feeling down suddenly. sorry. i know it is late. was looking at video from Nan Hua Mid Autumn. was feeling kind of sad. when was the last time i stepped foot into that school? i am determined to go back on friday. provided there is dance.

i cant imagine that i had stayed away from nan hua for so long. no mid autumn for the first time? hmm. cant imagine. but ya. have to move on.

iz ok. i am just abit down. post-nanhua-withdrawal symptoms. iz really ok.

smiley and cheerful tomorrow. and all the way.

~*no one is forgotten*~
~*just that someone now is more important*~

.::Their love story::.

~*it is THEIR love story*~
~*yet it seems familiar*~

ok, Gong is a must watch. princess hour. there is this Gong-marathon going on at home at night. oops. i am studying ok? haas

i watched and studied last night and when i was about to go to bed, i lied on bed and thought about their love story. not familiar, not very, but just those typical ones and the guy never want to admit their love.

so all that guy know is to get jealous and what else? hmm. that seems familiar to me though. hoho.

anyway. i hope it will be a happy ending and now it is me off for more maths.

never to forget those times. be a nicer girl. =D

~*let THEIR love story end beautifully*~
~*and that will be terribly familiar*~

.::I CANT POST ALL AT ONE GO!!!::.

I FEEL LIKE ISOLATING MYSELF FROM THE WORLD. except from you
just imagine. i was trying to sleep and all i get are disturbance and disturbance. so? what can i do? and ya. it is cool but it is tiring now. nevermind. i would not regret. i said so. i will stick to it.
and whatever that may comes along, which i am not in the least really worried about, i believe someone will ultimately be there for me. to be with me to help me. and i am not having any fear cause i think i know myself well enough. C=

i am ok. just feel like ranting. when you feel alone and tired and you just cant find the right key to start the engine again, this is what i feel like stoning.

i feel like i am wasting A HELL LOT OF TIME. but looks like i still cant find the right key. haix. sorry. nevemind. i am going to work hard and play hard as from tomorrow. ok. from later on, after this post, i will start. C=

mugging and mugging. everything is coming to an end soon.

oops. i cried last night. whose fault? d=

`trying my best to get back the old me
`the good old normal me
`i bet we are both tired and not used to it =x haas

~*smiles*~
~*counting to the days*~
~*how i wish they past faster*~
I WANNA GROW UP~!!! I WANNA BE FREE~!!!

.::so? whatever::.

~*different point, different ideas, different paths*~
~*to the same destination*~

that is life and that is the whole point of putting different people together.. C=

that is what i learnt all these days. yaps. it is just so amazing. can you imagine? not the first but it dont matter. cause when somehings last, it is a whole different matter again.

i am feeling tired and yet at the same time, i am feeling pissed. why cant you just trust me and why people have different piorities at different time. i am trying real hard to be understanding. but what i get? it is just me and people are just taking and thinking that something else are just more important than this. ok. i bet people dont understand what i am writing.

support. what crap is that? it is lame, but who can i blame? that is your piority.

and why have all these things become like that. how i wish time stop last night. or rather yesterday. i want that kind of way that time is spent. doing nothing. i just wanna slack around and looks like that is the last one. i need to stone. SERIOUSLY. i need to stone. i am going kind of bonkers and frustrated. sorry. i dont mean it. i bet you also dont understand what i am writing now.

.::HUH?::.

~*to be double sure*~
~*i am always asking that*~

so? that dont mean anything. i still cant seem to get everything right. i always forget things and i always overlook things and what else? A HELL LOT MORE!!!

so? what can i say? it is like HELL. i am not doing well in studies and i always fail to complete whatever task that people tell me to do. why?

WHY?

it is those guilt that is filling me up now. i know i dont mean it. who wants to be so not observant like me? who want to be as forgetful like me? cant my mother just accept it or something?

maybe it all started out with a bad day today. i was worried that i might lose her. i wanted to ask her and be concern today morning but all i got was a yell from her to get out of bed and it is never good to have too many women at home. especially those during their critical period. sorry.

it is my fault to begin with, if only i got out of bed. if only i look through all the emails with more care.

ok

sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

~*smiles*~
~*trying to*~
~*sorry*~

.::another day::.

~*stupid blogger*~

rarr.. i am in a rarr rarr mood. cause i just feel so stupid today. no. i have donequite alot of work today. and i manage to post everything that i was trying to post yesterday.

ok. pmsing. no one in the house seems to care about me now. no one. just no one. ok. that is just so whatever.

i have a daddy who think that i am a kid and dont know how tohandle human relations, telling me to not introduce people to go and work and stuff like that. hello? i am 18! whatever.

then come my mother who is still ok. at least i think i still exist in her eyes. but when i stepped on that pole on the floor and hurt my leg, no one seems to care la. if the one yulping away now is baby or carrot, i bet it will be totally different.

and i have sisters who dont even thanks me or anything for whatever that i have done. ok. i am just pms ing. sorry. but it is just so whatever.

rarr. slap me. i am going to school tomorrow like finally. i intented to go today. but what time did i wake up? 6?! it is freaking late by then la. so? off to sleep la. dont care.

and what am i suppose to do next? it is like almost 11 now and i am just not in the mood to do anything other than stoning. WHATEVER!!

ok. rarr. today is just a silly day. a day that made me realise that no one care. it hurts k? stupid to run to a phone and what i get in return? rarr.

ok. finish ranting. thats all. i am going to find some entertainment.

oh. someone called mathew sms me today. it is like million years ago since he last do that. had no idea what word that was. cause i cant see. anyway. i replied and that idiot didnt reply. see?just another person who dont know how to say thank you or how to appreciate. rarr.

what a friend? ok. not a friend, just the son of my daddy's friend, who happens to be his 'brother'.

oh. today. i attempted to take a half an hour nap but i end up coughing and crying for the second time of the day and in the end the nap-attempt failed.

ok. that is my day. rarr.

~*smiles*~
~*grr. trying to.*~
`carrot is a nice friend
`baby changed

.::cont of day1::.

then after she left for her friends house to study at around 2, i am the only one left at home and i start to stone again. oops. i am just thinking you know? haas. then i went to write in the book like finally after so many years and then i went to work on maths and i sat there till my mama come home and i went to keep the laundry and i helped to cut the touhu up into pieces then my mother go fry.

then something that usually happened to someone young happened. little kids lose their teeths, puppy change their sets of milk teeths too! C=

i helped carrot removed her baby tooth. oops. thats both baby and carrot. lame. i mean carrot's baby tooth. cause she was bleeding mah. then went back to maths and then to dinner. then i watched tv, then here i am. after some talking, i am blogging. and i just had a good laugh on something private that happened to my sister and me last night. she just have the potential man. oops. potential to be a man maybe.

then what is next? early night? i will. tomorrow i am going school! C= i wanna go out. anyone? maybe go out for a lunch or something. i just dont want to go home and stone. and i dont want to go to plaza by the park or somewhere near there maybe. i dont want to think of you. rarr.

haas. i will tell people that joke man, it is funny and i mean it. Evil me. waiting for some jokes. and some entertainment.

and PMS ing somehow. i think. bloated. and i wanna go shopping!!! =D

this is all that i did today. not a very very very happy day.

rate your day. 1 being sad, 10 being extremely happy. i will say today is just 5 bahs. all thanks to that call! =D

~*smiles*~
~* C= *~
~*that is just how bad it feel*~
~*get used to it girl!*~

.::day1::.

~*today is a different day*~
~*it just felt different from last time*~

it just felt different from that previous camp, cause the previous one just dont make any different to me. now it do.

ok. so today, i woke up in the morning by an sms. did i say i quite like that feeling? but it is about something that i dont really like, who will like that? but hees. a message is a message.

then i replied and i went back to sleep. short reply, sorry. then i woke up by my mother a few times, but she fail terribly k. cause i kept going back to sleep. then i finally decide to not lai chuang and i woke up. i bet there is only this person who can wake me up. bleah.

then i went to bath. then i cleared up the mess in the kitchen by my darlings. then i went to wake my sis up and i went to the market to get food with her. she brought her ingredients for making jelly slice. seems to be something tasty huh, who knows?

then went home and she make the biscuit layer with biscuit and butter, just like the way she made for her cheese cake. and i bet someone agree that only the biscuit base layer taste good for her cheese cake. haas. oops. then we feasted on Siew Mai, which we bought from the NTUC. and nice and rather fattening lunch, but contented la. cause i just dont know what to eat. we also shared sweettalk. oops.

LO AND BEHOLD.

THE HISTORICAL MOMENT EVERYONE HAS BEEN EAGERLY WAITING FOR FOR THEIR ENTIRE MISERABLE LIFE..

AND SECRETLY WHISPERED TO THEMSELVES BEFORE THEY BLOW THE CANDLES ON THEIR BIRTHDAY CAKES EVERY YEAR..

is here!

NO. YOUR EYES AIN'T PLAYING TRICKS ON YOU!
THE LINE BEFORE THIS [okay actually the line before the one before this] READS:
I.S. [SPACE] H.E.R.E. [SPACE] [EXCLAMATION MARK] (IN small LETTERS)

YES! THE SISTER OF THE OWNER OF THIS BLOG IS VISITING!

and i know, all faithful readers of this blog will start pondering, and wondering and thinking. why is the sister of the owner of this blog [let's just put it in short for the convenience of the writer: sotootb] SO MUCH MORE ADORABLE THAN HER SIS [who happens to be the owner of this blog]?! i hope i'm not confusing you. okay well, the reply to the above question will be: CUTENESS IS A RECESSIVE ALLELE! HAHAHA! AND SO IS SMARTNESS! AND SO IS PRETTINESS!

aye, what a crap entry-.-"

P.S: CRAPPINESS IS A DORMINANT ALLELE!
P.S.S: nynpcc rocks! BWAHAHA! -.- my heart will drop out of my mouth if my juniors read this.

.::it is just totally rarr rarr::.

~*rarr*~
~*PMS-ing*~

ok. that is just an annoucement to warn people to move away from me. i am going crazy now from extreme boredom. i am really having nothing to do and i have no idea and no feel for my books and there is no one to talk to me. and what else? i am just plain going crazy. there is just really nothing that i can do now. oh hold. i realise there is something that i can do. so off i go.

ok. i am done with them and here i am with nothing to do and a mother who is so so extremely unhappy with me sitting in front of the computer chatting that she demands me to iron my own clothes. that is so so whatever. do you think i care? no i dont. rarr

whatever whatever whatever. i am going crazy now. i need sleep. i need to do something. i need to stone. i need to cry. i need time. i want A level to end. i want to leave home now, just for today. i want to do something that i like. i need to do some craft. i need to have chocolate. i want to eat shilin. i want to eat KFC. i want to solve whatever problems that i have. i want to have more money. i want some quiet time. i want a new mp3. i want a new handphone. i want a earpiece. i want battery. i want to rant. i think i have rant enough. i want to spend more time with someone or something that i love.

anyway. i have rant enough and it is all done and over and i am feeling a hell lot better. bleah.

~*smiles*~
~*always know that*~
~*no matter how sad or unhappy you are*~
~*there is someone, somewhere there for you*~
~* ME *~
~* C= *~

.::oops::.

~*more tan*~
~*oops*~

anyway.. i got darker today and that is not a very good thing and i simply love fish leong's song and here i am doing nothing, cause my prelims just ended today and guess what? the moment the paper end, we got back results for biology paper.. -.- totally sianed

woah.. not bad as a start but i bet the other papers would not give me such pleasant surprise as biology paper does..

do you know what? i am craving for some dotA now.. but where is my partner? d=

i am scratching all over.. i think it is due to the over exposed to the sun and there my mama goes.. nagging.. she is just not used to seeing her daughter dark. but it is just in the genes.. no choice.. bleahs

haas.. and i am bored now.. entertain me please.. hmm.. waiting waiting waiting..

i had a happy day and i hope others around me are just as happy... C=

woots.. tomorrow getting back more and more paper and i predict nothing good will happen.. i just want some improvement.. what was the result for the last test? all F.. and ya... i am sure.. ALL Fs!!!

ok.. no more now.. i hope so.. bleah.. haas..

my biology paper.. i think i got a 61.5 over 140? hees.. that something good le ok? although i didnt pass la.. but at least i am not getting somewhere much lower.. and more maths to be done.. i will be home with a thick math booklet tomorrow for revision..

can you believe it?i am actually looking forward to that.. how i wish time just pass faster.. and jusst suddenly, i have the urge to mug.. d=

hees.. yea.. random.. whatever but i am not going ot mug now..maybe i am going off to write somethings.. C=

when was the last time i write?i feel like drawing winnie the pooh too.. yeaps.. more to searching of winnie the pooh pictures online~!! C=

woots.. thats all bahs.. bleah

~*smiles*~
~*when will the next one come?*~
~ C= *~

.::woots::.

~*huh?*~
~*i dont sound that happy*~

i am not that happy.. just wondering whats wrong with me since yesterday.. hmm.. idiot me.. why? what happened?

i am like totally sian diao or something.. just dont feel like doing anything that requires me to think.. and today is a totally nothing-completed-day

other than finally finishing the forms for PAssion card and only to realise that i forgot to ask for yiting.. haiz.. i think i will have to do it next week.. haix

then what else? there is pratically nothing much to talk about today lor..

ok.. all i felt like doing was sitting there and stoning.. i dont know why.. mentally tired? maybe? but i am still jumping around like no body's business at times.. rarr.. slaps

ok.. so i am stuck at home tomorrow.. great.. and i hope i dont sleep the whole day.. silly me.. rarr...

whatelse to talk about here?

ok.. i predict.. i forgot what i was trying to predict.. and that is not very funny.. i am feeling like an idiot now.. whatever

this is even worse when you have a sister who constantly coming to me to consult me on Permutation and Combination, forcing me to think at this point of time.. and i have a mother who just keep telling me to study..

i dont have that determination to last that long.. ok.. so i give myself a treat.. mediacorp.. shhhh.. dont tell too many people.. i am feeling abit guilty

maybe i really should lock myself at home.. YA.. I SHOULD...

rarr

stop being an idiot la... TAN JIE YIM

ok.. so back to work.. oops.. not school work.. hmm.. d=

~*smiles*~
~*see that fake smile on my face?*~
~* =D *~
~* -.- *~

.::hmm::.

~*nothing much being done*~
~*i need sleep*~

hey.. that was what i have been ranting a few days ago.. to be exact, yesterday.. NOW? haas.. i am alive and kicking and i have more than enough sleep that i need..

i slept the whole day... that is someting to be guilty about... what a wasted day.. anyway.. i have plans for tonite.. a tv programme later at 11.30 and then more stoning in front of the computer and have an early night!! with an early night, tomorrow comes faster.. haas.. whatever.. i have enough of being stucked at home...

ok.. was trying to get a job from gapbuster and apparently i failed.. cause i just hate jobs to do with macdonald cause they are just so super obvious and the moment after you turn your back, people will be ranting behind you.. must be her.. that is just so whatever.. although there is one in pasir ris tomorrow.. hmm..

anywya.. what have i done? study and spend alot of time lazing around.. and that is fun.. :P anyway.. what else?

yaps sakae.. oh my god.. fat huh.. oops.. but had quite a lot.. oh no.. haas

whatelse?

ok.. so the last paper is coming and the next are the results.. please.. no more royal flush.. i will be super sad.. anyway.. what wil i do if i cant win this race?

headache and headache now.. oh no.. too much sleeping.. maybe.. haas..

going to roam around later.. i mean the net.. haas..

and do i have to say that i got something like 'killing spree' when i was playing dota last nite? whoa.. that feels great.. hope i have another chance to hear that again.. d=

~*smiles*~
~*whose birthday is it today?*~
~*happy birthday*~
~* C= *~
`when the skies come crushing down
`you will be beside me
`wouldn't you?

.::regret? live with it::.

~*i made the choice*~
~*i will not give up*~

things in the world are just so funny.. i got a second hand phone and how glad i was, that was what i want and that the uncle dint realise the fault in my old hp.. C= evil me.. i spent 50 bucks for an old phone.. and i am feeling guilty now.. i spent quite alot recently.. haix..

and now.. i am with the phone and someone is just getting all fed up with it.. haix.. sorry.. my choice, the 2 choices that i have, definitely not my hp.. ok.. a hp and i lost someone in return?how much worst can it get? that explain why i cried.. ok.. it is stupid..

sorry.. i cried quite alot recently.. and i am not happy with the life at home... taking me for granted and not seeing what i have done, all they know is shout at me.. ok.. so whatever.. what can i say?

and next week.. hope it is full of surprises for someone.. i hope i hope.. C=

and here i am. blogging after so many days... seems like i still have quite somethings in my hands.. should i dance or do my work tomorrow? seems like studying is a better choice.. but nope.. warm up!!!C=

and the 20 push up and sit up each day? haas.. standard push up for me?haas d=

`i love my phone
`but i love you more
`oops

~*smiles*~
~*jieyim*~
~*smiles*~
~*no more tears*~
~* =D *~

.::messy days::.

~*know what are the bad things that mood swing cause?*~

ok.. mood swings.. sometimes overly hyper and sometimes overly sian and sad.. maybe i should have just lock and keep myself in bed..

hmm.. ok.. these few days.. nothing much done.. nothing good done to be exact.. haix.. when was the last time that i felt so bad? apologise also no use..

hmm.. ok.. spent money to go and watch that performance at victoria.. some people take tickets le din turn up.. haix..

i like being a backstage helper.. i like those kind of job.. but haix.. how does it feel when someone that you have to work with is not happy of your presence? anyway.. it is over.. no more chance to be a helper until the one outside Esplanade? hmm.. i missed a chance to get to know victoria and to explore victoria.. hmm.. wadever.. nothing is right now.. apology dont work..

i felt relieved yesterday and i realise how idiotic i was the past few days.. hmm.. nevermind.. nothing much to say..

what is next?had seoul that day and cool.. outbreak huh.. haix...

MY LIFE IS IN A MESS!!!

whatever la..

sobs... when you dont know what words to use, you use cute...

when you dont know how to react, you can choose to laugh out loud or cry..

~*smiles*~
~*finally one day i feel like cooping myself at home*~

.::hate blogger::.

~*ok la*~
~*not really actually*~

na li she de? haas.. so so many entries.. so many memories.. i think i would not bear to give up on all of them unless something real bad happens..

hmm..

i stopped making dreamcatcher... hmm.. i gave to 2 people before.. seems like it is rather.. hmm.. cursed? hmm.. dont know.. but ya.. better be safe than sorry.. but haas.. when the day comes for me to make it for someone, it means i have total faith, trust and believe that whatever relationship that is, will last.. C= maybe a big bet.. but i have faith...

ok.. had steamboat at home yesterday.. oops.. outbreak.. sobs.. worse and worse.. how? haix.. and somemore seoul this monday.. tempting.. hmm. so long din eat le.. i dont care.. must eat.. d=

auntie.. where are you? where is my cream? sobs.. ok.. yaps.. hmm.. ok.. nothing much..

today.. hmm.. nothing significant.. maybe because i spent most of the time on my own.. haas.. tomorrow!! monday!!! C=

dont remind me i have to mug.. please dont.. haas.. d=

~*smiles*~
~*know that you are being loved*~
~*know that the dreamcatcher will be in your hands one day*~
~*and i promise a BIG one*~
~* C= *~

.::rarr::.

~*kind of bored*~~* d= *~
so here i am to tell you about my day and what are things i am doing..
ok.. today.. woke up real early to wait for the installer to come.. ok.. the person.. lets name this person an uncle la..
he realli is an uncle though..
then he came at around 9.30? install and done le..
but was wondering whether the wireless can work not cause the LED is not lit.. then he went off saying he will check and asking me to try it asap.. i am tinking.. how to?no laptop..
anywya.. he called back later and confirmed that the wireless is NOT working.. so he came again after i had planned to go out with Hoon.. so called her and lucky she haven go out.. so in the end i think the mother and the son went out on their own..
then that uncle come again and went through same struggle with the 2 little brats and done.. C=
wireless up and going.. C= test tomorrow huh.. haas.. someone's laptop.. nope, it is mine, got my name.. muahahhaa...
then anyway.. slept for dont know how long then mama come home and went out for dinner.. oops.. sweet talk.. i had sweet talk after a light dinner..
then what? hmm... then went to check out the prices of phone.. hmm.. then tried to buy online but realise we got no credit card.. ok.. fine..
then after that what? i tried to do bio mcq.. failed.. just a few questions and the computer is ready for me to use.. so off to maple and then to dota, about 1 hour and 20 minute game.. hmm.. stupidity.. din even get to see the throne and i feel so omg todya.. only one pathetic kill.. what is this? tian ah..
then here i am.. i went to read yiting's blog and did some blogthing.. FUN.. haha.. result below... C=

cant post

.::disappointment?::.

~*so do you define that as disappointment?*~
~*i think so*~
~*but i am just numb to all of it*~

ok.. for how long? excluding those years that i just have no idea what i was doing when i was young, i bet it is just about 10 years le.. hmmm

for all the while, i can only remember her being pampered by my father... and no matter how much i do, he will always the pearl in his hand.. he got her present and everything.. ya.. thats what she is getting when she is young..

then now? she just dont give a damn to what he is doing, not greeting him or dont appear willing to talk to him.. so that is what he get in return for doting on her all these years..

and no matter what i do, when the whole family is not giving him a damn, i am.. and that just dont register into his mind, maybe until recently..

why i feel like tearing again? it is not worth it..

ok.. say the bad things about me.. i used to take her things to use without asking, i used to not spend enough time at home to help her with her work, i used to shout at her and all those stupid things that elder sisters always do to theirs silblings.. but that is all in the past, but i think those are just more than enoughto let her vent her anger on me as and when she like..

never in her mind that she thnk she is wrong.. never.. maybe that is why 三毛 the writer said that '家中的老儿都是问题儿童' ok...

hmm.. thats quite bad of me to say.. but i am not the only feeling that way.. my youngest sister, she too felt that way

when she bring her friends home, either we do not disturb them or welcome them.. so it is either positive or neutral actions.. but when we bring our friends home, all we get are mostly negative actions.. and remarks.. sometimes neutral though, but never positive..

so who am i suppose to blame? myself? cause i didnt spend enough time with her in the past?

my friends used to comment that my sister is rude and what i did? i argued back.. i sided her.. that never come to her.. to her, she is the most important one...

she used to blame me.. blame me for being committed to dance and things like that, not spending enough time home. and the good thing that happened recently is that she is now sec 4 and she is leaving her cca and now she know how that committment felt like.. and the reasons why i was so committed then...

ok.. then what else? recently, i took up the advice and start to treat her nicely.. i treat both of them nicely.. other than at times when i am not in the best of my mood.. but that is rare.. anyway.. i tried to treat her nice, but occasionally i just get random shoutings from her.. like just now.. nevermind, no point repeating...

then now what, sending me those stares.. ok.. that is just so whatever... asshole...

to her, it is always me not wanting to help.. ya true.. sometimes i just dont feel like helping.. and yet she just thinks that, it is not i cant help her.. just i dont want to help her with her work ALL the time.. ok.. thats great right?

she never think she is wrong...

only treating me nice when she needs a favour... i hate that.. from who ever.. that is one of the thing that i hate the most.. ya.. but she is doing that.. so great.. ok.. whatever...

then what now? bear with it or kill her? no choice right?

treat her nice and she will realise sometime? i am tired of it.. all the while i have been doing it.. but i simply have no choice...

whatever..

random ranting...

heavy head.. why? cause my temperature is high.. ok.. not high... just 37.0 now.. hmm.. but thats away from my 36.5 normal temperature..

so because of HER, no game for me tonight cause her ass hole just would not open to tell me what time she needs the computer until...

`sorry.. vulgar, but that seems to be the only way to vent my anger.. when was the last time you see 'assholes' on my entries?

~*smiles*~
~*i will still SMILE to HER*~
~*haix*~
`yaps.. feel like tearing.. seems like that is all that i can ever do? never have the ability to solve problems.. only know how to cry
`hmm.. ok.. trying to control.. i held back my tears today.. C;

.::tired::.

~*overly saturated*~

so what? just go into the examination hall and vomit everything out.. ya.. thats practically what i did for biology and i am prepared to get an F for maths.. which is a sure F subject...

why? all the things in the paper no longer seem alienated but i just dont know how to do... how? so the 3 hour marathon is just there.. wasting more and more paper.. but for the first time in my life, i complete one whole question in the paper.. which is something considered to be very proud on my part in view that i actually have been failing maths all the way.. =S

ok.. then.. what is next? tomorrow? no ECONS!! that is a whole great deal of benefits that you get when you drop ECONS.. yes.. i can sleep till dont know what time tomorrow!!! d=

ok.. going to read through inorganic chemistry... whether it go in or not is no longer important.. HOLIDAYS ARE COMING!!! C=

YES... slacking.. i know i am doing that.. oops..

who says i have holiday? it will be just more choinging.. -.-

~*smiles*~
~*understanding*~
~*trying to be better*~
~* C= *~

.::the treasure::.

~*nothing much to say*~
~*how to put in words?*~
~*change them into actions*~

THIS TIME ROUND
IT IS EASIER DONE THAN SAID
at least thats what i think now...

.::chiong ah::.

~*hmm*~
~*what do you do when you hate yourself?*~

hmm.. i know.. my mood fluctuates and now my mood swings and now i am being overly sensitive and i am being extremely paranoid..

hmm.. bear with me bah.. even i can do nothing about it.. i feel like crying.. hmm.. why? i also dont know.. dont say things that can make me cry now.. or maybe should make me cry? so that i will feel better?

guilty.. too much food.. no food tomorrow... set.. hmm

~*thats all*~
~*smiles*~
~*we will all smile*~
~* C= *~

.::alone::.

~*oops*~
~*PMS*~
~* d= *~

hmm.. apologies first.. these 2 days.. mood swing.. hmm.. one moment i am laughing and smiling, next i am pulling a long face.. -.-''

hmm.. now i am happy!!! C=

ok.. just finished a game of dota.. hmm.. fun.. addictive.. but i will control... that is a form of reward for myself bahs.. haas... d=

was alone today.. almost whole day alone.. haas.. physically i mean.. haas.. decide to not stay at home.. cause i have one sister who was going crazy and another one also PMS-ing... oops.. did i just annouce another thing? anyway..

man zhu gan.. i finished biology core.. at least most of it... next is practice.. C=

oops.. so tomorrow morning is bio and follow by maths? hmm.. then monday will be finishing up of chem.. oh no.. anyway.. I CAN DO IT!!! C=

better get better results this time round.. hmm.. what if i dont?

anyway.. back to topic.. i was alone today and i start to think alot.. think about neutral things this time round.. not bad.. C= my mood went up and down... morning bad mood so evening jiu good mood lor..

hmm.. thought of my neighbours.. hmm.. the previous owners of the unit next to mine..

where are they now? how old are their kids? then i remembered my old classmates.. hmm.. same question.. hmm..

i wonder when will i have the courage to open my mouth and ask that girl at the cashier in NTUC.. she is my classmate's sister.. hmm.. we shall see how..

hmm.. people's mood fluctuate so i understand that i cant expect someone to be caring all 365.25 days and all 24 hours.. but when someone is not caring, i cant be hyped lor..

can i say that it is a cycle?

when somone is down, it will affect some other people..

so people, you never know how your mood or smile can affect others.. so always try to smiles =D

~*smiles*~
~*thats all folks*~
~*craving for CARTOONS!!!*~
oh no... d=

.::RAIN RAIN PLEASE COME::.

~*i am seriously in need of a heavy rain or something*~

ok.. the weather is so so hot.. and warm is no longer the word to describe it.. hmm.. please, let it rain.. if it rain, i think most probably i will rush out and get myself drenched..

hmm.. i felt guilty.. i touch chips today.. and at the wrong time.. the period that i will fall ill most esily.. ok.. so no more chips..

oh my.. my sis just scolded something darn wrong at my mama.. oh no..

anywya.. back to topic.. todya.. home with 2 brats.. more chionging.. tonight. i think i am going to sleep at 1 or 2 bah.. i strived to finish bio today!! then to revision!!! C=

ok..

hmm... wanted to touch on something..

hmm... people never know how important it is to behave the right way.. especially when you are attached or something.. be it boy or girl..

hmm... people should always put themselves in their partner shoes.. how will they feel about whatever that you are doing?hmm..

taking someone for example.. hmm.. i feel bad.. but i am still going to say.. you are with someone.. why still give another person hope? that is the worst thingto do bahs.. hmm...

when i say giving hope, it means givning any form of contact and idea that things are still ok between your.. cause you never know how the slightest thing you do can give the one who had a crush on you the slightes joy and contentment...

anywya.. i have a mother who sings to herdogs.. oh my...

but apparently, Carrot dont like her singing.. haas.. d=

hmm... my post are getting more and more random..

carrot like to walk on the edge of the sofa and she just fell down.. oh my.. she seems ok with it leh.. haas..

~*smiles*~
~*decode bahs*~
`.u kicw tiy .rglbj tiy die xinubf ubri nt kudw .okwlaw fucw nw tiye diewcwe .u oeinuaw rgw alnw .u awwn ri vw lvur rii vi kuli? .u sibr xlew .glgl .NWBY .C=

.::past present and future?::.

~*hmm*~
~*i think i should learn to forget about the past*~

yes.. i think i should.. i predict that day come when someone will just get fed up over my sensitivity and just no longer bother to explain.. hmm.. i think i am being quite unreasonable.. hmm...

what are the possible solutions? hmm..

i. dont let me know that there is any form of contact at all
ii. let me know when there is any form of contact and dont let me find out about it on my own
iii. put up with my stupid sensitivity while i try to forget

i dont know la.. haas.. but i know i am ok.. my concern was not about not trusting you but more of you giving the other party the wrong information.. hmm.. let her know that she still care and things like that

hmm.. policy.. never be too good to someone who have a crush on you or is interested in you.. dont give the wrong signal.. ok

hmm...

UNREASONABLE ME..

i know.. while i am typing all those above, i am feeling unreasonable.. hmm.. ok.. i dont know what to say.. hmm..

maybe now people will say it is ok.. but who knows.. soon people will think that i am unreasonable.. but still i am told to say things out.. C=

had a happy day.. no school!!! C=

hmm.. tomorrow.. hmm.. i think i am giving maths lecture a miss and come home to mug.. prelims is next week.. please remind me that.. hmm..i want to go out~!! i cant study at home.. hmm.. maybe tomorrow? haaas.. muahahhaa

how does it feel to have 2 handphones? haas.. i am having 2 now.. suspect phone spoil but now, come to think of it, i think is sim card spoil.. haix..

ok.. go mug le.. d=

~*smiles*~
~*i am thinking*~
~*just now*~
~*not now*~
~*but i am ok all the while*~
`when we are able to bring it out to joke about it, it simply means i am ok.. C= smiles.. JIAYOU!!!

.::spark and fire::.

~*ok*~
~*some thoughts that i had today*~

hmm... was watching this silly and funny korean series on Channel U as i was doing my revision.. hmm.. then there is this girl, samshun, who said on the things that she want from her beau.. hmm.. ya.. and i start to think.. haas... C=

from what i remembered, all she wanted was someone who will proudly introduce her to his friends and let them know that she is his girlfriend.. but that guy could not give her that.. and that just lead to the guy having a chance to have flings outside as people do not know that he is attached?

hmm.. is that really that important? maybe? haas.. recognition.. who dont like that? but what is more important is still the forever that will be coming along...

what do i want from my boyfriend? i dont know leh.. haas.. i think i will be contented.. i will be.. i mean.. i will be understanding.. hmm.. can i do that? i dont know but i am willing to try and will i be able to achieve it? hmm.. i dont know but I will try and maybe your should ask my boyfriend then to find out if i achieve that 10 years down the road? haas...

random.. then i come to this thought... different people have different demand and different wants and different criterias.. you may find someone but that person just dont suit your criterias and you get sparks but not lasting fire.. hmm.. never be after that spark.. look out for the lasting fire..

so even if there is more than enough sparks to cause a big fire, the fire may not last.. but as long as there is love, any water that comes along, can be blocked out.. C=

hmm.. quite lame huh? haas..

but i think my mother taught me something useful and meaningful, something that i wish that someone will have a common agreeble with me..

agree with me that as long as there is LOVE, every problem can be overcome

agree with me that as long as there is discussion, every possible argument can be avoided or solved

agree with me that LOVE will never leave a couple in just one night

agree with me that with LOVE, someone will be willing to change for forever for his or her other half

agree with me that with LOVE, something else will come along and take its place and soon that will make it forever..

agree with me that with LOVE, we will never forget the passion that we have.

agree with me that with LOVE, you will guide me to treat you the right way.

C=

ok.. today.. whole day at home.. rarr.. tomorrow also.. rot le lahs.. rarr.. oh no.. i am feeling quite sleepy now.. ok.. going to do something stupid then early to bed.. hmm.. i feel like pigging tomorrow.. oh no.. stop me!!! d=

~*smiles*~
~*sorry*~
~*i am trying*~
~*still trying to be good*~
~*trying to be good to you the right way*~
~* C= *~

.::oh no::.

~*why am i here?*~

ok.. announcement.. jieyim just cut her hair and it is not very short..

and i seriously dont know what is wrong with my house phone.. or that person really is bu shuang.. haas.. bu shuang that i lied? oh no.. haas.. anyway.. it is an attempt to joke... but not successsful..

oh my... warm!!! anyway.. random...

plan for today.. hmm.. after blogging.. force myself to study then jiutonight to grandpa house.. no time to go le mahs... so go today lor...

hmm.. should i declare myself holiday tomorrow? since tuesday no school and since going to school is already a waste of time.. hmm.. we shall see

take your pick.. maths or bio? hmm.. maths bahs.. complete it.. it is hanging there for quite sometime le...

hmm.. decide to not be so paranoid or senstitive.. keep tinking tat someone is bu shuang or not ok.. but hmm.. how to be understanding when u r not sensitive or paranoid? i mean.. u need to be sensitive to understand to know what they are thinking.,. haas..

random..

bb

~*smiles*~
~*CHIONG AH!!!*~
~*i am with you*~
~* C= *~

.::绿洲::.

绿洲

当孤单干渴了我

是你开凿了河流

当狂风沙绝望了天空

是你开出花朵


我没说的你却都懂

连最隐密的伤痛

曾经世界就快要沉没

如果你没来复活我


还记得你说你爱我的时候

星空下有温柔的微风

我疲惫的心又开始有梦

再也没离开过

忍着寂寞 穿越最荒凉的沙漠

找到失落已久的绿洲

如果这是生命的尽头

我会微笑着接受

当我找不到彩虹

是你放回我心中

当我遗忘快乐的感受

是你又教会我

if your cant see the words, try changing the encoding to unicode. C=

just realised that this is a nice song.. and i am going to get the FIR new album soon!!! and i hope it will be real soon..

oh no.. prelims coming.. hmm... what will lack of sleep result in?

breaking down.. yes... thats what happened to me yesterday and i promise i will not allow what happened to me yesterday to happen to me again..

i know how bad it affect others.. and i am guilty for what happened last night...

anyway.. when was the last time that i feel what i felt today? missing someone.. and i mean.. badly.. hmm.. get used to it girl.. no choice.. ya.. no choice..

anyway.. i am still a happy person!!! C=

hmm... played warcraft again after god knows how many years and oh my.. hmm.. cheat makes it sian but i am still not in the mood to challenge myself.. so maybe some other day? current favourite is still piano and maple.. hmm.. piano.. sobs.. cant play on my computer.. oh ya.. did i say that laptop is MINE?? muahahaha.. dont ill treat it.. haas.. it has my name on it.. haas

oops.. possessive..

hmm.. serious.. it is time for diet.. i mean.. please.. not for the sake of aniting, but just health.. i know if my weight go above 50kg, i will start to heck care and soon.. unhealthy obesity..

ok.. hmm.. now... touch on the topic that i wanted to a few days back...

i saw these 2 groups of performers recently.. although both are on misson to promote Christianity during chapel, i saw what i always like to see from them..

i think it is only something that performers can understand.. not performing just for the sake of performing but for the sake of the enjoyment that you get from it.. yes.. i felt that before and i got those back in those years...

maybe not as much as those performers that i see but i am starting to miss performing again.. if i did not perform in nanyang cc that day, i bet i will be missing performing even more now..

that form of pleasure that you get when you know that people may be enjoying and people are all looking at you.. the pride that you get when you know that people enjoyed after you put in so much effort...

ya.. maybe given my character.. i am a leo, ok.. half a leo, i want recognition and i got it when i hear praises or when you see result during competition or syf..

yet i know, at the same time, i am getting the enjoyment from the time i spent with friends before and after performances..

although i know how good it feel to be performing and enjoying, i also remember how performing become a form of task and responsibility and job and hmm.. what other word to describe? i tried that before and then i realise that everything can never be the way i want them to be ALL the time...

performances with only 4 or 6 people.. not to say that the feeling is bad or something negative.. but at that point of time, performing is no longer for enjoyment and time spent withfriends but simply performing for the sake of performing..

talk about the enjoyment you brought to others when you are on stage.. it is simply undescribable cause you never know when there maybe someone who simply love what you are doing and enjoying as much as you do...!

To dancers out there!!!
LOVE what you are doing on stage.. you never know who else is enjoying the performance as much as you do.. and you never know if that will be the last time that you are doing that particular step on that particular stage or things like that..
Recall.. when is the last time you perform in your school hall? the esplanade? the kallang theatre? the victoria theatre? the UCC? the drama centre? or maybe just NANYANG CC? haas.. when was the last time? and simply ask yourself.. when will be the NEXT?
you never know..
so LOVE whatever you are doing on stage!!! C=

To other performers out there!!!
LOVE what you do on stage cause you never know how much impact it has on others!!! C=

ok..thats all.. hmm.. more mugging bahss... haas.. do not really have a choice, do i?

i have a choice.. i have the choice to face it all with a SMILE~!!! C=

~*smiles*~
~*i am missing you*~
~*training?*~
~* d= *~
~* C= *~

.::hmm::.

~*maybe it is just the wrong time*~
~*plus the wrong mood factor on too?*~

hmm.. i slept and no way am i feeling better.. i finally know what is wrong... i am feeling frustrated.. why?

i need sleep and i need time.. can i just have both? oh ya.. and i want silence.. i dont want a sister to be ranting away.. trying to ask me to go and clear the tings up when she can jolly well do it herself..

slept and forced myself to wake up and back to bed again.. then the ranting and nagging begin...

'ah jie, can u go and throw away the things done by the dogs? can go do now?'

please.. when you are sleeping, will you be willing to get out of bed to go and throw someting when those people have the ability to do it themselves? HELLO.. i know ur have done alot.. so it wun kill to do one more rite?

then after them, it is my dad... drunk as usual, in to try to make me do the tings but in a nicer tone.. took away my blanket and my pillow.. hate that.. no choice.. and after doing the tings, i wen back to bed..

then come again..

'oh shit.. ah jie, can u help me refill the printer ink?'

please.. ok.. say i am LAZY...

I AM PLAIN LAZY..

who will drag herself out of bed? so i replied

'when u need it? can i do it tomorrow?'

and then the shouting come... 'MONDAY GOT TEST LA.. NEVERMIND.. I DO IT MYSELF!!!'

oh mine.. dont need to be like that de rite? then she was real loud when she shouted that.. hmm.. then i tried to tell her..

'leave it there.. i do later.. i make sure u see the ting in the morning..'

ok.. that did not get into her head.. then mama come in.. SCOLD.. whatelse?

'the person say, ink omost finish jiu have to refill le.. ur everyting oso later later... later spoil'

then my sis contributed her thoughts... 'ah jie everytime refill cartridge also didnt fill it up totally...'

WHATEVER!!! that is really so freaking WHATEVER.. do it yourself then..

ok.. to avoid argument and to prevent me from saying anyting bad and making the whole situation worse, i oli sat there and cry and they bombed me with words.. ok.. end of story...

suddenly i feel very tired.. crying dont help.. what is wrong? how i wish u r with me now.. iz oli less than a month of intense studying and i am feeling this bad.. how to hold on till november? i dont know..

~*smiles*~
~*i will*~

.::hmm.. maybe 2?::.

~*haas*~
~*thats the time that i am going to bed*~

ok.. i know it is late.. haas.. tomorrow will be a day filled with coffee.. hmmm... drown in coffee... bleahs.. haas

ok..

hmm.. got something to blog about but decided not to..

~*smiles*~
~*good night*~

.::OH NO::.

~*ok*~
~*nothing much accomplished*~

rarr.. who is going to go out and mug with me? i think the bestest place is still plaza singapura.. rarr.. hmm.. sorry.. i mean.. more cold.. ya, but more ideal for studying..

at least plaza sing dont make me feel like sleeping.. and i am not going to take too much food tomorrow.. haas.. had enough today.. and at the wrong time and that equals to me going fatter.. later no body want me ah.. rarr.. haas.. d=

kidding.. haas.. but still have to watch diet de right? someone asked me to gain 5 kg or something by the end of this year?maybe it will be possible? but please, it will be real bad..

hmm.. had a happy day and i really didnt not mind.. i think it is time to not waste sms and write a letter?haas.. yea.. maybe.. C=

i still think that nothing beats writing letters.. or maybe writing diaries? haas.. ok.. going off to write later.. and i think i would not touch my bed until 2? haas.. d=

ok.. going to write and copy and then my maths.. C=

~*smiles*~
~*you are with me*~
~* C= *~

.::hmm::.

~*tired*~

nothing much done today.. haas.. but dont care.. i will chiong tomorrow!!!C=

hmm.. ok.. so i am not that guai afterall? d= haas.. I AM OK!!! C=

hmm.. nothing much to write.. i haven finish The Lakehouse.. haas.. faster faster.. hmm...

i am feeling sinful from all that eating.. hmm.. control... and MORE exercise!!! C=

i am feeling more and more like a pig.. maybe i should sleep now? hmm.. ya.. maybe.. haas.. i think i will.. haas

how to tell mr lim tomorrow.. keep telling him no MC.. haas.. oops.. i think we all know the real reason la.. haas..

ok.. going off to write something and ya.. hmm.. to bed!!! C=

~*smiles*~
`you are with me
`i know you are
`smile with me
`we are ok
`lets put on an act?
~* C= *~
~* d= *~

.::understand::.

~*determined to get it on my blog*~

oh no. heavy headed the whole day.. on and off.. cold and warm.. and ya.. maybe falling sick soon.. hmm.. more mugging to come..

teacher praised me TODAY!!! C=

ok.. random.. anyway.. i am broke.. sobs.. when will they return me the money for the service learning?

ok..

hmm.. i think i seriously need to curb my mood swings.. but seriously, a person can never be all the while happy.. like that will get into trouble.. sometimes must sad a while then will understand and learn to treasure happiness.. am i right?

then.. ok.. understanding.. i was thinking.. hmm.. how do you totally understand someone? it is just something so so so difficult.. but i am trying.. C;

anyway.. i mean, i can know what the person is feeling, know what the person is planning or plotting, but does that mean i understand him? if that is understanding, then i think i am quite proud of myself.. other than that great failure on that particular day..

hmm.. ok.. didnt realised that people were pissed off.. how useless can i feel? haas.. i think i was busy lightening the mood.. sorry.. hmm.. abit late to apologise now though.. hmm... hold on.. i apologised before le ok?

haas.. hmm..

ya.. so someone please define understanding please.. i mean.. how to totally understand someone?how you gauge it? hmm..

ok.. nevermind.. no school tomorrow.. rarr.. stay at home.. mugging.. mugging and more chionging.. hmm..

ok.. heavy head.. maybe i am too tired.. i mean.. who wouldn't be tired after a day like that? i didnt really complete much though.. i wasted a day... MING TIAN HUI GEN HAO...

~*smiles*~
~*when the sun shine and when the rain falls*~
~*i know you will be with me*~
~* C= *~
`i read someone's blog and i realise that I LOVE YOU is just such a powerful phrase.. hmm..
`yet, i think that there are some people who can just let it out of their mouth just like that...
`maybe it dont mean that much to some people afterall?
`to me, it is a sacred phrase...
`so i mean it when i say it... C=

.::rarr::.

~*HUNGRY*~

my mother is sleeping.. with no intention to cook.. maybe i should cook? hmm.. NOPE.. not today.. i am dying from maths.. rarr...

completed quite alot today ok? hmm.. will have more time next week le.. these 2 weeks have the most heavy work load.. hmm.. ok..

tuesday!!! finally the polling day holiday.. go out!!! C=

haas.. i bet my sister will be feeling rarr rarr if she is reading this entry.. cause god knows when their school will return them their polling day holiday.. hmm.. or have they returned them le.. just that it turn out to be a HALF DAY?

haas

ok.. fireworks festival finally came to an end.. i went to 3 different places to view the 4 sessions and i am feeling guilty.. forever pulling that same person with me to watch... and always end up going home late.. hmm.. get well soon..

ok.. fireworks festival.. finally knew and felt what my mother went through 2 years ago.. ashes falling on you.. ya.. i experienced that yesterday.. but it was one of the most comfortable time out of the 4.. cause we get to sit.. ok.. the one at the NTUC building was nice too.. but whoo.. the breeze.. feng diao.. haas

hmm... i am growing fat.. when exams come near, it just seems to be like a period for hibernation.. i mean.. you do nothing except for sitting there and mug.. and then you get tired.. to keep yourself awake, either you drown yourself with coke, tea or coffee.. anyone is just as bad.. sweet and fattening.. if not, it will be chocolate or simply something to throw into your mouth for you to munch to keep you awake..

so.. maybe after my a level, you will see a fat girl? oh no.. later nobody want me.. haas

hmm.. what else? tired.. more maths.. cant complete any questions.. ok.. cant complete most of the questions.. more mugging and more practice.. i bet the teacher is going to ask me tomorrow for my practices for biology and chemistry.. hmm.. nevermind.. do more math to make up for it..

tomorrow is until 3.15... yawn.. but nevermind.. have a holiday ahead.. more mugging.. C=

all thanks to the ONE HOUR that she claim that she will take.. in the end i think she is playing la.. then that means she used TWO HOURS.. rarr.. ok.. nevermind.. hmph..

haas.. what should i eat? craving for something.. what is that thing? ShiLin? SweetTalk?

dont know la..

Luo Bo Tou went down for her first walk.. haas.. ok. .i mean Carrot.. my dog.. ok.. didnt tag along so dont know how was the walk.. but i know that Baby's harness is too big for her.. have to use rubber band to tie.. rarr.. clever me... i tie and she went down for her walk.. poor baby have to stay at home...

ok.. bye bye.. nothing much to type.. and i realise something.. i am having problem with typing '...' i am so used to just typing '..' haas.. oops.. most of the time la.. haas...

more mugging.. maybe slacking.. chiong after dinner? haas...

~*smiles*~
~*decode this*~
~*4056830968*~
I WANT THE LIPSTICK PHONE!!!
ok.. random..
~* C= *~

.::whats wrong??::.

~*hello?*~
~*is it the world or me?*~

ok.. dont know whats wrong?maybe today is friday.. hmm..

what is the link here? dont know.. no link...

ok.. people crying.. people giving sian diao faces.. people getting pissed off.. people getting fed up... and hmm.. i think for once i am not affected by them..

i was hyped through out.. and now here i am thinking back.. i was laughing my head off like crazy.. like no one's business.. i mean.. ya.. hmm.. dont know.. i mean.. even though i am tired...

haix.. dont know la.. maybe it is really time to lock myself at home.. oh no.. if i lock myself at home, nothing good will happen..

i mean.. the moment i reach home, i am like rarrr.. shouting at my sister.. and i think i kept going huh huh huh today.. dont know whats wrong with my phone.. or is it just my ears?

i shouted at my sis when she tried to talk to me.. nevermind.. i cant hear her...

haix.. whatever... bed time..

~*smiles*~
~*u kicw tiy*~
~*u nuaa tiy*~
~* C= *~

.::hmm::.

~*today is NATIONAL DAY!!!*~
~* C= *~

ok.. here i am.. typing.. oh my god.. i let someone read that book.. rarr.. dont know what will happen? haas.. dont know what to say..

finally have a taste of sweet talk after craving for it for so many days.. haas...

ok.. someone asked me to go and watch fireworks but i didnt go in the end.. i mean.. didnt go with them, but i still go in the end.. d= sorry.. haas

saw alot of people.. hmm.. ok.. really nothing to say..

haas

ok.. back to more chionging and mugging.. have to chiong maths.. haas..

thats all.. nothing to write mahs.. happy things never come here.. C;

how i wish the fireworks are just for me.. !!! C=

d=

~*smiles*~
~*let the time pause*~
~* C= *~

.::SORRY!!!::.

~*2 issues*~
~*one apology*~
~* C= *~

ok.. apologise to you.. i think i should.. hmm.. call that mood swings? i dont know but i just feel so bad.. i mean.. just feel that i should not have let my mood go down and i know how bad it feels when someone is sad and there is nothing that you can do or say to make that person feels better...

hmm.. ok.. sorry... sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.. hmm.. i typed all those ok? haas..

hmm... today...

i didnt really expect myself to feel that way.. i thought i wil never care but apparently, i think i do care.. or is it because i just feel weird? i mean.. how to not feel weird or was i over sensitive? and that everything is ok and alright?

i used to think that, it is ok.. i see them as people who will come and leave my life the way the others do.. i mean.. i dont think i really care.. maybe i dont even care about it now.. i am just wondering what went wrong.. hold on.. i do mind...

ok.. i mind.. i want to know what went wrong.. or was it destinated to be like that as time pass and since this group is big?

i thought everything was on the surface and i will never give it a damn but since like i dont even know myself.. i mean.. i realise i am wrong.. i do care.. and things may seem to be on the surface but i cant deny the fact that they were the ones with me when i was at the most difficult times..

yes i am still in that period of time.. difficult time.. how i wish i can stop this race and have time for the things that do really matters to me..

i know i cant.. i dont have a choice.. even if i know i am going to fail this race, i know i still have to finish it and take it.. i mean.. ya.. i regret..

to me, all used to be easy.. last minute work is nothing.. but now i cant.. i mean.. call this last minute bahs.. it is really last minute..

i didnt realise it can be that difficult... but i am wrong and ya.. here i am struggling..

ok.. they were the ones with me.. there to help me... now.. should i just have predicted this day to come?

not making sense here.. ok.. i predicted this day to come but i didnt expect myself to be expected by it.. ok.. i mean.. ya.. i thought i would not give it a damn but i realise i am wrong...

ok.. now.. when will my holidays come? my schedule is up.. on and going.. haix.. work piling up at the same time.. how to consult your teachers when there is no time for practice? ok..

what am i doing here? i should be mugging right? ok.. tomorrow there is this service learning thing and here i am preparing for the thing.. haix.. dont want to say le lah.. i mean.. ok.. fine whatever...

so tomorrow is the 8th ah? haas.. i said i will be there to remind you.. so here i am.. ok.. so? haas.. it is the future that matters.. C=

tomorrow.. announcement.. fireworks!!! C= haas tomorrow.. haas.. 9pm.. C=

~*smiles*~
~*i am perfectly ok*~
~*i am perfectly alright*~
~* C= *~

.::hmm::.

~*hmm*~

ok.. fireworks, yesterday was nice.. haas.. i mean.. the mood was different from the mood that i was having when i watched last year... got new ones this year.. haas... hmm

wad are the few that i like the most.. ? haas.. dont know how to say.. can only when i see it, then i say... 'nei, i like this one'... i think so far got 3 on my list? haas.. purple ones and those that falls like raindrops.. ok.. which dont fall like rain drops? haas..

today.. went pa and went off.. ok.. went out to study ok.. haas.. hmm.. i scare i stay in PA i will start to stone.. i tried studying in pa before... it didnt work.. so ya.. hmm..

tomorrow and the week to come.. mauahhahahaha.. so many days free.. ok.. haas... hmm...

mug mug mug mug.. i know.. i have to chiong..

hmm

when will the race end? i am quite tired.. or is it only for now? i mean.. i only feel tired for tonight?

i dont know.. i never like it when studies is in one of my piorities.. hmm

ok.. something stupid and silly happened.. alot of stupid things happened recently.. i also start to do alot of stupid things recently.. haas..

carrot likes food so she kept jumping onto the table to grab food.. hmm... ok.. she gets no food.. only whacking.. haas

i feel evil.. not i whack her ok.. it is my mama...

ok.. i really dont know what to type le la..

bb

~*smiles*~
~* C= *~

.::fireworks?::.

~*i realise*~

i dont know what i was thinking today.. didnt think much, was too happy bahs.. last year i was roaming around alone during fireworks festival cause i am suffering from some form of post NDP depression.. this year? C=

hmm... so... happy things hardly come onto the blog, as i have said... muahahha...

there is something that i wanted to type but i forgot.. i was tired last night so was sleeping.. i mean, i sleep early.. expect less and less entries bahs.. hmm...

ok...

good night.. i miss my bed.. haas...

~*smiles*~
~*a different year*~
~* C= *~

.::oh my oh my::.

~*random*~

suddenly feel like i have alot to talk about.. cause i think through quite alot of things.. so here i am...

hmm... ok.. maybe talk about today first? hmm... study study study.. haix.. feel that i had done quite alot today.. tomorrow have to continue.. hmm...

ok.. came home late.. hmm.. went to esplanade again? haas.. and before i left, someone shoot me with some questions and i start to think...

declaration.. not sad, not unhappy, not angry, just thinking and abit worried.. for you and for myself?

firstly.. what kind of person am i?

i am someone who dont really know what is the reason that i am doing a certain thing most of the time.. yet, when i say i know what and why i am doing a certain thing and that i want it done that way, means i really know what is the reason behind it.. and sometimes the reason is just that simple..

i am someone who likes to think alot and think rather negatively.. or should i say super negatively? hmm.. and the slightest hint or slightest thing that someone do or someone say, can make me think and think and think and think.. cause i like to assume too.. i mean, i like to assume that there is a reason why the person say something or do something.. most of the time, i can sense the purpose.. then i will start to wonder whether i guessed correctly or maybe sometime, why is that person doing that thing or said those kind of things?

i am someone who think that other people are just like me, as in, i just assume that they will think and think negatively like the way i do.. especially when people just choose to sit there and stone and start to appear as though they are thinking...

i am someone who sometimes like to act like i dont care.. i mean, i will act as though i dont care who is the person who said certain things but maybe i mind and i care, just that i didnt want to show it out...

hmm.. i am like that..

yet, at the same time, i am someone who is actually quite not decisive.. i mean.. usually i would not want to make a decision if i am not sure of what i want.. when i am dumped with a lot of choices, and i dont mind any single one of them, i will just chose to not decide.. thats me...

hmm.. and i realise one thing, as couples gets older and further on in their lives, there are just more things that they can argue and quarrel over.. so we shall start analysing from the top...

when they first met and got together, everything will start out fine and sweet.. then they wil start to worry and get jealous and things like that and there goes the first argument.. then as they move on and they got used to each other being there for them, they will argue one day when they realised that they the other half is not there for them when they needed them the most.. then there goes the second argument...

then as they move on, and fast forward, there will be just little things that they cannot decide and compromise and give in to each other about.. then they will have small dispute here and there until one day they finally get too heated up and there will usually goes the third argument, which sometimes can actually be the forth or the fifth already as the other 2 mentioned infront can actually happen more than once.. infact all argument can happen more than once...

ok.. so as they move on, some may realise that the other half is not giving them enough attention le.. then they start to fear that the other half is not beingfaithful and fear of losing them. then they will start to doubt and that feeling is not nice.. i mean.. no one will like the other half doubting them so there goes the next argument, is that the forth on the list?

then they grow up and those argument goes on in life.. then come to this day when they maybe decide to settle down? there comes even more argument.. ok.. the fifth on the list.. wedding dates, sixth on the list, the house that they should buy, the seventh on the list, should they spend money on things, or what type of car they should buy, etc.

when they finally get married and settled down furthere more, there comes the eighth argument, which is sometimes rather stupid yet happening in the daily life.. they will start to be unhappy about each others way of living and things like, why you squeeze the toothpaste tube in the centre? will just come out and boom.. argue..

yet one day, they will get used to each other and then there maybe other argument like how many kids that they should have? the maybe the tenth argument will be the way they teach their children and maybe the eleventh will be the school that they want to send their children to.. and maybe the twelveth will be complaining that the other half, be it mother or father, not spending enough time with their kids.. hmm..

ok.. thats a whole lot of arguments le.. and please, for all those mention, there is a high chance of it being repeated.. i mean, it sure will.. so there is actually more things to argue each time.. haas.. oops.. laughing? werid me...

now... those are the things that make life, life and turn those likes and crushes into love.. and there are just so many things that can be avoided.. i mean argument.. being avoided..

when you decide that you want the love to last, make sure that you put in effort...

when you decide that you want that person to be with you forever, make sure you share things with that person.. he or she dont need to be always top on your list, but make sure he or she is not the bottom few..

when you decide that you want to make that special someone happy, make sure that you dont make that person sad by not taking good care of yourself or doing stupid things to hurt yourself.. you never know, sometimes the easier way to make someone happy is just a call, a message, a card, or just something small... you dont need a reason to shower your loved ones with love and care and sometimes gifts...

and dont underestimate a call.. how important is communication? dont let things out only at the last minute when things are already on the verge of coming to and end and just before that volcanoe erupt, you let out all those unhappy things.. do you think that helps? NO.. so whatever unhappy things or things that you do not agree with, let it out... i mean.. tell it to your other half as soon as possible...

hmm.. now.. let me think of my future? those basic and common questions..

how big must your house be?
hmm.. it can be small and cosy... it can be big and comfy.. shouldnt i be discussin that with my other half in the future when the time comes? since it is a house that belong to both of us?

how big must your family car be?
is there really a need for a car? hmm.. discuss...

how many children do you want to have?
erm, anything, but i think definitely not just 1.. i mean, i dont want my child to be so lonely at home. yet, another thing that should be discussed with my other half, i am not the only looking after them right?

work or be housewife?
hmm.. discuss...

oh.. whatever.. type until i sian liao.. cause even if you continue, you will just realise that all of the things in the end will end up with discussing with your the other half cause they will be in your life..

`love brings them into your life and make them part of your life..
`love teaches you how to appreciate them just the way they are and teaches you how to give and take..
`love made the other half part of your life
`love is something that no matter how old you are, you still need to learn.. learn how to love someone the right, the better or even the best way...
`love is just something that makes life, life
`yet love is also something that comes along with life...

so what is life without love and will there even be love if there is no life?

hmm.. does everything make sense? haas..

and that is just love.. C=

~*smiles*~
~*what will my future be like?*~
~*lead me there?*~
~* C= *~

.::PLAZA SINGAPURA::.

~*Ouch*~

ok.. random, but i have a stupid cut on my leg.. why? because of the stupid track pantst that i am wearing now.. the stupid zip or something la.. random.. lets move on...

today.. hmm... haas.. cool.. ok.. wrong word.. cold.. i mean.. plaza singapura is super cold.. i think i am going back there again tomorrow.. C=

today.. not that cold at first.. so i found someone who is an even better heat conductor than me.. haas.. in the end hands are colder than mine...

i did complete something today.. feel proud.. i am sure i will be able to complete more tomorrow.. chiong ah..

today during the last lecture, ok.. no, before my 1 hour break, which is during gp, i was feeling weird.. can feel that my body temperature is not normal le.. i mean, not the usual that i am having.. cause i am feeling wrong in my head.. i mean.. my head feel heavy...

then during math lecture.. omg.. its abit worse and so i didnt pay attention and sleep, hoping that it will be ok when i wake up.. so ya.. it didnt really help..maybe lecture hall is cold.. but apparently my friend said that the lecture hall is warmer than usual.. o.0 ok.. hmm.. something wrong with me...

when lecture end, went out.. the moment i stepped out of the lecture hall, i feel cold.. hmm. all the way until i cross the road, my hands are still cold.. hmm.. not freezing cold though.. but after a while, jiu ok le...

C=

then chiong and walked.. hmm..

if only i can have a whole day free.. i know how to spend it.. i didnt really want you to go, but apparently i know which is more important.. so ya.. hmm.. haas..

chiong!!!C=

ANNOUCEMENT!!! THERE IS FIREWORK ON THE 5TH, 8TH, 11TH AND 12TH AUGUST!!! C=

lets count down to year end when i will be free. and start to plan and save up? haas.. looking forwards to trips and outings!!!

~*JIAYOU*~
~*SMILES*~
`How do you hold onto someone whom you have never met?
`[u kicw tiy]

.::here i am::.

~*nothing to talk about*~

i only know i need to chiong.. chiong so that i can have more time to enjoy.. hmm.. anyway.. i feel like roaming again...

roaming around again sounds cool to me.. go alone, walk around just like what i used to do.. maybe i should rest early tonight? wrong mood now.. i think because i am worried.. ya... still.. you dont sound ok.. hmm

ok.. tomorrow.. go out study... it is a nice place to study.. provided you remember to bring your jacket.. it is omg de cold there...

hmm.. feeling sorry too.. i mean.. guilty.. ya.. digging up the past can be scary.. so i promise i wouldnt.. it is a PROMISE... something that i think i can hold on to and not break it..

hmm.. ok.. thats all bahs.. study!!!

~*smiles*~
~*hope you are ok*~

.::worried::.

~*what do some girls do when they are scared or worried?*~
~*either they cry or the laugh like no ones business*~

hmm.. i think i am no way nearer to either one.. maybe more to the bad side? i mean.. i am worried.. i really hope you are ok.. i feel like slapping myself now..

i was reading through my archives.. then i realise how bad i was in the past and how sad i was in the past.. yes.. reading through archives do make you cry and make you sad.. haix...

then i here i am to tell someone something

]do not be afraid that you will forget
]for i will be there with you to remind you
]let that be my job will you?

off to more mugging and to bed!!! hmm.. i cant really think now.. i only know i am worried.. haix...

sorry about that entry

.::today::.

~*i think i am really ok le*~

ok.. seriously.. something is getting on my nerves and because of that, no more fried food and more water...

something is just so wrong with my right cheek.. stupid outbreak.. really irritating.. i have done all that i can le... haix...

then today.. my intuition told me something.. she still have feelings.. girls just know this kind of things...

she has that kind of courage to call you.. if i was her, i will avoid having any contact with you for i will fear the feeling coming back or the feeling growing stronger... this show just how much more she still hope that everything that had happened are just a dream and that calling you may make you realise that you still need her and stuff like that.. i bet that is what she is thinking.. from a girl's point of view...

hmm.. i think i am ok with it.. still feeling weird somehow.. not dont trust, just feeling weird... i mean.. who wouldn't?

then i realise.. i used to hate that song, Everytime We Touch... cause of that particular blog entry on that particular day.. but that day when you listen to it, i realise.. hmm.. seems like it is better le? i should try listening to it later... haas..

hmm... so conclusion is: i think i am ok with it le.. just feeling abit weird.. and please.. I CANT TAKE SHOCK... so STOP scarying me.. rarr.. before i cry...

whatelse.. ? hmm... stressed... i finally feel stressed up bahs.. there are only 3 things in my life now... C=

~*JIAYOU!*~
~*SMILES*~
~*hmm... *~

.::huh?::.

dont know what to write

nothing to write

nothing much today

tired now

maybe hyped too much

but i am still quite hyped now

i mean i can be hyped now

i think have to see who i am dealing with

ok...

oh

the first 3-dots that i put today

i realise i like to put alot of dots too

hmm

tired bahs

ya

what was i thinking about?

i was thinking about something and i forgot

nevermind

~*smiles*~

.::mugging::.

~*it is cold*~

ok.. i am refering to both the things that i have spoken about today and the temperature now..

near my computer, should be warm.. ya.. but i mean.. hot but i am feeling just nice.. i think i will still on aircon later.. hmm.. then i am in my track pants... 0.0 hmm.. scare cramp mahs.. haas...

i had macflurry just now.. think back.. i cant remember what is the thing that brought me to the mac at the cc there...

today? happy day... thats the only that i will say bahs.. haas.. the rest? in the book.. C=

if i say one day you will know, i really mean one day you will know.. i mean.. get to read...

hmm... i really dont know what to say.. maybe thank you? other than those words?
hmm.. ya.. thank you.. that is the word bahs...

i made a conclusion about the scandal.. i think i should not mention it here.. muahhaahaha...

i am just wondering.. and i suddenly remember what i used to put on my blog about the few qualifications that my partner should have.. hmm.. know me... know what i am thinking.. i think that was one of it.. hmm.. haas.. it is a good thing...

ok.. to writing of book and then to work.. hmm.. target.. finish biology tutorial.. cant go pa.. haix.. but i will go next week!!! C=

`i think this is the real me bahs... i mean.. i dont really think anything changed...
`the question.. i think i didnt answer... the real you, the fake, the good, the bad, the nice, the bad tempered one? i dont know.. but i know i choose this path and i hope it will be 'Forever & ever babe' C=
`i hope you feel the same C= that is life...

people out there... remember i once said? love is accepting someone and yet at the same time be willing to change for that person...

ok.. love someone the way they are cause that is the thing that you love about them.. hmm.. make sense? i hope so..

ok.. another place down.. 2 more to go? haas.. FIREWORKS...!!! C=

~*smiles*~
~*JIAYOU!!!*~
~* C= *~

.::hmm::.

~*say it out*~

hmm... what a day... a nice experience... hmm.. i mean.. going in without tickets... haas.. when was the last time i saw daryl? hmm... ok.. nevermind.. i think he sounded quite bu shuang when he was asking me why i went out today and didnt go back nanhua after so long.. hmm... i think la...

nevermind... he also got missing in action before ah.. hmm.. nothing.. just think that sometimes really need to MIA at times one.. hmm...

then what? i had this stupid argument with yongxuan.. and it is obvious it is stupid.. i mean.. haiz.. really dont know what to say.. but i know that he hit me on my hand quite pain ok.. hmm...

someone told me he is starting to miss dance.. it is normal.. someone tried to talk to me yesterday when i was super busy and i just did not talk to that person.. kind of feeling bad.. hmm.. i thought of that person today when i was drinking iced tea...

nevermind.. haix.. i was trying to write into the book today, but some clever people tried to peek.. someone who look like ru hua.. rarr

i hope you are ok..

thats all... not really in the mood to type... maybe more in the mood to write... hmms...

~*smiles*~
~*let me keep them in my mind*~
~*memories*~
~*my friends*~
~*hope we will still be after O level*~
~* C= *~

.::today? tomorrow? click::.

~*is that life?*~

so if there is this remote control that you can control whatever things in life, will you choose to own it?

fast forward or skip chapters and give those unhappiness a miss? have memories only of the happy things? but what will life be like when that day comes?

unhappy things are there to magnify the happy things.. to let even the slightest little thing that happened to you in a day to be something nice and great...

when the whole day just seem to be just full of shit and someone comes along and give you a smile... what a blissful feeling can that be? something small but yet it brightens your day...

ya.. that is life.. what is life without all the downs?

had a great day.. how should i say? went to places that i never go before.. and it is just good to walk around, no motive..

for those times, let me spend time without a motive or a goal, just to walk with you...

isn't that just a nice feeling? i mean.. maybe i am tired of walking alone.. someone to walk with me.. someone that i can close my eyes and just follow.. someone that i trust will know the way to the right place...

maybe guide me to my future?

my life.. i lead it the way i want.. and i want that someone to be part of it... without the downs, will there be ups?

this is getting more and more random.. is it because happy things never comes onto my blog, or is it because there are just too many things that i can blog about that make me feel lazy to just list everything out? or is it that happy things are meant for me to know?

so today, i had ups and downs.. is this considered the first argument? ok.. hold on.. i am not angry.. i am not sad.. ok.. i dont know what i am feeling.. d=

my tutor suggested the whole class staying overnight in school to do biology revision and tutorial.. cool suggestion right? omg.. lol... looking forward to it.. C=

~*smiles*~
~* C= *~
~*let me learn to trust totally*~
~*sorry*~
~*time*~

.::hmm... thats just how bad it feel::.

~*that feel so so bad*~
~*i didnt realise*~
~*worse than last week?*~
~*ya.. i think so*~

ok.. woke up this morning.. had about an hour more sleep than usual... cause today do cip at st luke what.. hmm.. ok.. this morning was ok.. but when i reached boon keng and i start to think...

hmm... if that day you didnt bring me through that route, i doubt i will know how to get to boon keng today... then when i reached that market at boonkeng, i remembered us seeing a sweettalk there and i went to get a drink.. ok.. it is very early.. today is an unhealthy day.. i hope i dont fall sick.. ok.. i am ok already.. haas...

then when i reached boonkeng, we started crapping away.. and i tried to find someone to go plaza singapura with me.. .but no one seems interested... ah... whatever... plaza singapura is not that sian a place ok? spotlight rocks.. random...

then went to the place for cip.. and things were rather ok until someone called... i mean.. i was already thinking and thinking and thinking... hearing the voice of that someone made me felt worse.. hmm...

then that was around lunch time.. and i was so so totally sian diao after lunch.. sat around, do nothing... then when things end, i tried to drag my friends to plaza singapura again.. then i suggested movie this time round.. ok.. abit stupid... nothing real nice that i can watch with them...

then i went home.. on the bus trip.. i start to realise.. so it is really that bad a feeling to be missing someone... someone told me it is painful that it keeps coming back.. i didnt really understand that 2 weeks ago, but this 2 weeks, i understand and experience what and how bad it really feel...

i think this is just the aftermath of spending too much time tgether during weekends? maybe? hmm... not angry or not unhappy about things... just feeling abit sad or down?

then slept on the trip back.. alighted thinking that i should just go straight home for nap... walk half way.. crave for those orange ice cream.. ok.. not ice cream, no milk content ones.. nice nice.. since last night i am craving for it le...

then went to search for it in the market.. got it and tapioca chips.. munching away now..so i hope that i dont fall sick... d=

going to sleep and finish my work before 9!!! C=

~*SMILES*~
~*listen to the song again*~
~*A Whole New World*~