.::if only i can predict the future::.

~*if only i can predict the future*~
~*maybe i would not have raise my hand*~
~*dont raise my hand on that faithful day*~

maybe if i didnt raise my hand on that faithful day, life now will be more happy... or rather, not that much high and low... maybe i will be happier...

happier as in not that much things to consider... i am starting to doubt my ability... no longer sure what i can do and what i cant... no longer sure what is real and what is not... and no longer sure who is the real ones and who are just plain fakers...

i am al confused...not even sure whether i amconfused or not...or am i just plain avoiding? i dont know... maybe i will be much much more happier if i never belong to that family.. if i never raise my hand... or maybe i lie low all those days... maybe i would not even be here...

but i cant deny... my memories...all thanks to them.. how will my days be like without them...

i am starting to not know what is true and what is not.. i think the worst thing of all is that i cant cry... not as in i cannot cry... but i just have not reach the point... maybe crying will help..

i am also not sure what is happening..why i am like that.. what exactly i am thinking about... ok... or maybe i choose not to think... i dont want the definite answer to my troubles... cause i think i know i will be more sad after that...

maybe sometimes it is easier to just laugh... but please.. i hate the world for leaving me alone... or rather i hate myself for having to be alone at times... i dont like being hyper then alone.. cause you know that you will try to find another happy thing to make yourself happy when you cant find any... or rather...things will just come in and occupy my tiny brain...

ya...tiny brain... then you cant handle them and you will be sad again...

i think i will be ok tomorrow.. i hope i will...

i have to be... i have to be ok...

~*there are just somethings that you never know*~
~*somethings that if you know will happen...*~
~*you will never go and try*~
~*i want to predict the future*~
~*i know there will be a smile on my face tomorrow*~
`i haf2smile`ttz e oli ting i can do`mayb u dunno`bt i m nt ok