Monday, April 17, 2006

.::ya...silly me::.

~*asking for something that i dont deserve*~
~*i walked and ran in the rain*~

i ran in the rain with my friends to catch a bus... i boarded 142 and transferred to 985 since it is raining... i boarded a cold bus... freeze till my nails turn purple as usual... i alight and walked in the rain to the market to get something for mother...

i dont think i care anymore... i am back to the same situation that i am in back months ago... there are just no reason for me to hold on... but i just need a dozens of reasons to let go... that is just the typical CANCER i suppose... so is it something good?

i know it will be over soon... it will be over one day... but how long do i have to wait? i dont know... maybe if end of year arrive earlier, i will be much much happier...

i consulted the tarots on tonnes of things... should i deem it as coincidental that i got same final card? it is the same card... even i dont believe it... but again... who am i to comment on my tarot cards? cause i dont even know what will happen in the end...

my life is filled with lies... i kept thinking about it whenever i am free...maybe that is the reason why i am so down in the mood these few days... i dont know how long it will last...cause i know things will never be settled that easily...

i dont deserve what i want cause i am not appreciative of what i have... i am not giving it a damn, who am i to ask for more? so just dont care please...

contradiction... i dont know what i want... sometimes i just wish that i have not come so far... maybe just like the others... dont care... but i know i cant let go just like that... i cant control...

i know i am always blogging the same old things in all my entries... and i do ought to be happier... but... there is always a 'but' in my life... hmmm...so... what else can i say?

ok...the rain do make my mood lighter... feel better...

~*i think you will see a smile on my face*~
~*i have to smile*~
~* C= *~
`i cant show my troubles`cox ppl wil juz tink i m as usual paranoid away

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