.::late nights::.

~*late nights are still as happy as before*~
~*cause i only have happy thoughts*~
~*so it is happy day all day long*~

i am not quite used to the fact that i am no longer thinking that much at night... i mean... think alot better.. like that life will have more ups and downs... hmm...but sometimes think too much do make one real sad...

i also dont know how to say... when i am happy and everything is going on fine, i will try to dig out something that is sad in my mind and start thinking about it...over and over again... what i get in the end? sad... not depression...

but still.. i think it is these unhappiness and sad stuff that makes me treasure my happy moments... but i do not want to have happy moments for long...cause they usually dont last... so... instead of living in my own complecent world with only happy things for a long period of time, i choose to be sad when i think i have enough happy things...

late nights are giving me out breaks... argh... i am just suddenly so sensitive to it... thanks to what my auntie have got for me... things got better...but late nights... eeks.. anyway... haha

i was watching da chang jin since my whole family is like crazy over it... it makes sense... loneliness... caused alot of problem... greed too...
maybe in the case of us and our society, people fear loneliness and do certain things to hurt other people... people around them... their fear for loneliness, or greed for something makes them do evil things.. not knowing that, actually with power and wealth and maybe popularity, you end up being more lonely and the greed that you can never fulfil... that is just so life... i mean it is life...

people moving in and out of our life... no one have the chance to give their 100% to their every friend or everyone around them... maybe only when people leave then you will understand how much they actually mean to you.. ya... that is also part of life... life is made up of so many things... so many that you cant list them out one by one...

there are also just things in life that some people never choose to admit to... maybe not just somethings, but a whole lot of things... again...that is life... there are just so many things that maybe hiding them up will make your life better or others life better...

and i cant deny... it is always a pleasure to not know so much... maybe sometimes people shoul stpo being curious.. but who on earth is not curious? i mean... not a single soul is.. so... hmm... maybe that is just part of life again...

maybe life should not be all about waiting... or am i the only one who think that life is all about waiting? haha.. i mean... life is really just about waiting... waiting for your goal to be reached... waiting for that day to come when you leave this world... waiting for whatever that you are waiting for... but cant deny.. from the day you are born, you need to wait for death to come... you never know when it will come... maybe tomorrow, i will be dead? who knows... but still.. whatever that is important is still to live life to the fullest...

that is just what everyone claims right? live life to the fullest... but do you really think that that is just what everyone is doing? the world is just full of restriction... so much that sometimes there are just no goals in life that belongs to you... they are just goals set by the society or in most case, by your parents...

there are so many unknowns in life that needs to be answer... maybe that is another goal in life... but whatever unknowns that one have to answer may not be determined by that individual... it could be the society again...

i dont know... the society is changing... all my 18 years of life... there are different things.. i mean... most of your saw the difference... but can you accept those changes?

maybe i should not mention something that is just so far from the reality that we are living in... maybe not very far but still, it is something out of our consideration...

maybe i should first learn how to cope with changes? i never want to get myself committed to anything... cause i know that everything have to end one day... but there are still many things on my hand... friends and family... you never know when they will end... i only know i would not be able to take it... who will be the one who can be there for me when i need someone to just to be willing to listen?

i think i am quite an extremist too... so extreme that i find myself abit scary... i mean... dont know since when, i stop watching every episodes in series... i mean... all i need to know is the story... so most of the time, i will just give certain episodes a miss...and it works ultimately... i dont feel the lost when that show end... ever tried missing all the characters in the series? i have been trying that all my life..

i am just an extremist who cannot take changes... i hate them..

ok.. i hate alot of things.. hate being wronged... hate people who keeps a whole lot of stuffs from me... and i hate changes... sometimes i just wonder why cant we just stayin one school or college in our entire education life... i know i mentioned that a tonnes lots of time.. haha... but stilll, that is still what i am thinking about...

there are just so many things in my life that i hope would not change... or maybe go back to what they used to be... life will be happier that way... alot happier.. and maybe less trouble...

there are also alot of things that i still dont dare to admit.. they are there all the while... i never choose to dig them out at times... but still they will surface one day... hmmm... actually i cant really name one now.. but still i know something is there... holding on... not knowing what or where that thing has gone wrong... but still... haix..

haha... ok.. i am not depressed... i just felt like typing a whole lot of stuff today... god knows how many people read this...and for the you, whoever you are, thanks for reading until so far hhuh... haha.. but are you sure you read everything? haha...

i think either no one reads my blog or my entries just leave people speechless and so no one tags on my tagboard.. haha...

oh ya... by the way.. i have to thank the kind soul who is always clicking on the *hugz* counter... giving me *hugz* ... but sad to say... i dont know who you/ your are... haha...

life is like that...so many things... there is just no one in this world who is totally happy... or totally perfect.. no one...

everyone need someone or something to make them complete... and maybe that is the reason why opposite things attracts, like the fact that guys like girls and girls like guys (most of the time la)... haha...

that is also just like love... love is something that is important in life too... maybe without love, that person dont deserve to be alive... and there is always something in love that makes it last... friends to like to love... the whole process is just so long... that you never know where it may just break... it is also the long process that makes alot of people treasure love and appreciate love..

treasure...hmm...that leads back to how much you treasure a person... you really never know until that person leave you...

oppostite attracts... it is like that in love... both parties willing to give and take... that is the thing that forge the bond... the bond between 2 people.. i assume that is something difficult too... cause whatever that has got to do with life and love is difficult and never that easy to understand...

that is the end of the crapping... i also dont know why i crap so much... i should be asleep long ago.. i told myself to sleep early.. ya.. it is earlyin the morning now..haha.. 3.15am... please praise me.. god knows how bad the out break will get tomorrow... haha

~*it is really easier to smile than frown*~
~*eveyone knows that*~
~*but not everyone can do that*~
~*so? spread the diesease*~
~*the smile*~
~*it is contagious*~
~*so beware*~
~*haha*~
~* C= *~
~*the smiley face*~
~*the one that do mean something*~
`how2admit`in life`i din move on`i tried