.::things are coming to an end::.

~*i dont know where things are going to and how things will turn out to be*~
~*i only know*~
~*one day*~
~*accusations will start coming in*~

somehow i can tell that my dancing life is coming to an end...soon... maybe after this year? i dont want it that way... but it is just so difficult to handle things... like people aer not happy with the way i do things although i think that i am doing the correct things...

somemore people are not understanding why i am doing certain things... they only know how to assume and let accusations set in... i never like accusation... please remember that...

i am always trying to explain why i am doing certain things... but they are forever never interested in listening... in the end i am always telling it to people who having nothing much to do with matters...

maybe i am not doing enough or i am not doing as much for you all... but i think i put in my bestest... i did more that i can do for any other group... i never have the chance to tell you all in your face... that is just so bu yao lian... and please ask yourselves whether you all will be willing to sit down and listen?

maybe i am going into depression again soon? i dont know... and i dont really wish to know... now it just seems better to be sad... maybe that will cut down on the possible accusations that will be setting in soon...

people will start saying...

ok... whatever shit that is... all those stupid jokes... they are already not funny... cause i no longer know how to laugh... go and tell them... bu shuang me or anything, i no longer care... cause i only hope that they will leave as soon as possible... i am making it clear here... i have my reasons... like it or not...

i want the influence to stop here and now!!!... there is no need to 'protect' you all anymore and get things onto my back... i am always like an idiot helping you all to clear things up... no more of that... i am tired... and i dont see the need to anymore...

i feel so not treasured... maybe to you all i dont deserve anything at all... maybe not seeing me will make you all happier...

when will you all start to use your brain? it is no longer about fun and laughter... it is about what the others will think and do... like it or not... for now or for the future... that is just something that you all must learn...

if you all dont change... someone there leave, that makes the end of me... i cannot stay on without some people... i cannot stay on with some people... not me... it is them...

i dont know... go ahead and hate me or bu shuang me... i am just so used to you all not asking and not knowing what i am thinking...

the day that i fear is coming soon... the day when you all start to dont like me... it will come soon...

i am still the same old me... it is a problem with my priority... it is not problem... rather a change... i have to think for the future... i hope you all will too...

those tears are not because i didnt manage to win you in the quarrel... but because the day that i am afraid of... is drawing near...

i am always crying... stupid me right? people say iti not worth it... but i think otherwise...

i still think otherwise...