.::I hope::.

~*things that i hope*~

i hope i can just shout into people's face and say that i dont want to know anything...
[i dont like it]

i hope i can stop thinking about whatever that i am thinking now...
[what am i really thinking?]

i hope i can switch my senses off so i would not know anything...
[i dont even know if they are right]

i hope i can laugh with my friends...
[i can only see them laugh]

i hope i can stop all the feelings that i am having now...
[mixed feelings]

i hope i can stop trying to predict what will be happening...
[i thought i had decided to stop thinking?]

i hope i am correct...
[am i even sure in the first place?]

i hope i trust myself...
[how to?]

i hope i can stop feeling so insecured...
[since when am i feeling secured?]

i hope i can get more assurance in life...
[since when do i have assurance?]

i hope i can learn to be contented...
[i did learn to be contented for the past weeks]

i hope i can stop missing you...
[as if i can]

i hope life to be more than just what i think it is...
[to me, nothing seems excellent]

i hope i can stop having disappointment...
[if only i can stop hoping, then there would not be disappointment]

i hope i can stop moodswings...
[i think i know the reasons for mood swings]

i hope i am not the only one happy...
[are you happy?]

i hope i can stop thinking...
[what am i doing now?]

i hope dreams come true...
[dreams and reality are opposite]

i hope i am not hearing the wrong things...
[when was that?]

i hope i am right in whatever that i know now...
[what the hell do i know to begin with?]

i hope you are thinking of me...
[am i the only one?]

i hope you are happy...
[are you?]

i hope i can take up the phone to call...
[are you busy? dont want to be like a nuisance]

i hope i can stop hoping...
[see the next sentence?]

i hope i can stop... but apparently i cant...
[guess the next word?]

that is just so whatever...

yupx... i thought of all these before math test today... i just cant study cause i am super tired... and i seriously think i should take a nap...

i was not very ok this morning to begin with... but to not spoil people's mood, i did try to be happy...

then after math test i got real moody... maybe because i am hungry... or was is because there were no replies or no calls? i understand... whatever...

then i went home alone... without waiting for my friends... and i went Lot 1 and i walked home from lot 1, taking the long route... i need a walk... with the peppermint milk tea in my hand... C=

then i reached home... feeling alot better... so here i am...

i dont think i should be moody or anything right? i mean... hello... tomorrow is the last paper and weekend is coming!!! and monday is a holiday!!! that is enough for me to be happy le... C=

what about you? are you happy?

all those that i hope for are mostly things that i cant get... so whatever...

I AM OK!!! C=

i just felt like ranting... C=

~*smiles*~
`those days...
~The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention, that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn't be, places that are as scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring, and sometimes your heart takes you to places that can never lead to a happy ending. And that's not even the difficult part. The difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal, you go into the unknown. And once you do, you can never go back.'