.::How strong is the will?::.

~*how much longer?*~
~*how much more?*~

how strong is my will in handling these things? i dont have a single idea when iwill just let go... cause it is just so tempting to not care anything... so easy to let go... or rather so easy to appear that i let go...

the struggle and everything... how tempting it is to hide myself in my own shell but i know i cant... i have a mother who is constantly there to remind me how wonderful the world will be if i let go and start to do all my own things...

how wonderful a mother i have...

cant blame her... i think she knows me well...

i bet she is also tired of coming home and not seeing a smile on her daughter's face... that is me... i dont know how to be ok or how to be normal infront of families and loved ones...

either i appear to be extremely happy or i will just get extremely sad...but the aftermath is never something good...

cause for whatever that happen, there will be an opposition... i will start to get darn moody after that...

not that i dont want to let her know what i am thinking...but will she understand? nothing is more important than me getting prepared for exams... and again...cannot blame her for that...

ya... it is a nice question... how strong is my will to hold on? i dont know... maybe one day i will just get tired of everything and i will just put a stop to everything... since she had done it before...i dont think i cant... so ya...

hmm... i need hello panda~!!! some kind soul buy for me? muahaha...

hmm... should i or should i not... whatever...i got a stupid person who is not replying my message... so cool right.. how to make a decision when i dont even know who is going? oh great...he gave me a reply... 'nite' so cool right? whatever...

hmm... something cool?embarrassin happened in my parents room... hmm...haha

hmm... someone came home with a camera... it is so heated up and it is so warm and it is spoiled...haha...oops.. nevermind... not my papa buy one... d=

hmm... i hope that nothing will go wrong... and i think it is really time to control my emotions...so...haha...i am trying... really...

hmm... i hope everything said is true and will be true... and just what is going on?

sorry...currently i am pissed by some clever people's reply..so yah...rarr...

or should i not go? hmmm...

~*sorry*~
~* C= *~