~*things do seem different*~
i think they are really different... i dont know what make me the person i am today... not a single one of you out there but maybe the fact that i was taught how to feel in whatever things that i am doing... it makes sense...
thank you for helping me to find the answer.. it is dance that made me so senstitive... at least i think it is...other then my horoscope... a cancer... a sensitive creature... but still i am here... i am going to lead my life with all these senses and emotions... i have no choice... so even if i dont like i also have to do it...
there are just tiny little things that people do that make me so sure that it means something even more important...
i also dont know what i am thinking... i should just not do anything anymore... what will come will come... i no longer trust my tarots...
please... i dont even trust myself... i dont even know what i am doing.. i am doing things that is atually against what my heart wants.. but whatelse can i do? i mean.. there is really nothing that i can do...
ever since that day when i made that decision i know that there are just certain things that have to be done a certain way.. there are just things that can only go straight...never left or right..it is not within my choice.. so sad... but that is the truth.. so do you pity me?
that is not what i want.. i want to be able to make choices for myself.. but so sad i cant... there are just things thta are not within my control...
the most saddening thing is the fact that the people entering and leaving your life is never within your control but people never have the ability to accept the fact...
i am used to certain things.. maybe you are out of the game but i am not... so am i the poor thing here? the one who dont deserve anything cause i am the one who choose to stay in the game?
i dont know what i am trying to say here.. i am not making any sense... will i be irritating or annoying to someone? i am always thinking of that... that is the thing that forever restricts me... but i get myself out of it...
do you really think that things are really that peaceful and smooth sailing for life? at least for me it is not... i only want something simple.. but i am not even getting something that belong only to me...
i am trying to be contented with what i have... but i realise there is nothing to satisfy the thirst... not even a thing lingers in my hand for my palm to grab... i just need something..
something small till you cannot see with the naked eye... something so small that only angels, me and you know its existance.. i only need abit of that... i need that in my palm to let me learn the word contented... i swear i would not be greedy for anymore thing...
i dont need it to be visible to all.. i only need me to know... for me to hold on to...
did i say that promises are meant to be broken? yes.. i did...
where is the promise? i dont need it all the time...but not a single time.. sorry..yes.. sometimes.. but the basic things that should be satisfy are not there...
i never have an entry like this... neither do i feel this wrong before.. how i wish.. i wish.. ya.. i wish.. it will be a wish forever...
maybe it is time to move out of the game...maybe i should not be doing this kind of things all the time.. i am tired of being a kind soul cause i am not..
yes.. fluctuations.. i got shocks after shocks recently... i know then i dont know.. i dont know, it existed, i know it is gone...
i choose to not know a single thing.. maybe i will be much much happier that way... so much more happier...
i dont know a single thing in my life.. yes.. i know what is the next thing.. i also know what is holding me back..
yes... study.. nothing is sure in this world... i know... i knew that since the day i was born.. it is part of life...nothing is sure... maybe tonight i will just die sleeping in bed? you never know.. so what else can i say??
but yet.. that does not mean that certain things have to be done.. cause i know i would not...
making no sense... really no sense as i continue.. so maybe i should just stop.. cause i think i have vent enough anger here...
~*DOUBLED*~
~*Fluctuations*~
~*YES*~
~*That's me!*~
~*i hate it when people leave without a word*~
~*please inform me if you are leaving my life*~
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