.::Yes nothing goes right::.

~*maybe crying will help*~

my vision is blurred... why do i feel so tired all of the sudden? maybe this is just what you went through... dont make me think about you... please.. i am all confused and lost and dont know what to do now...

i am tired of whatever that is happening...although i know that nothing is going right.. but i still have to act as though nothing happen... i know how to fake a smile...

i need those tears now...rolling and they fell...ya...maybe i should cry myself to sleep tonight...when was the last time i do that?

when was the last time that i cried in public? crying seems to be the only way out now...

i need someone to listen.. but i dont know how to say everything out... there are just somethings that are better kept as secrets...

maybe i should live in my own world... nothing seems to make me happy now.. i get frustrated at the slightest thing...maybe except... but what do i get ultimately...

when everything is gone, i realise i am still standing there alone... all by myself...

maybe my life should all be about books...i hope it can be that way...then maybe i will be happier...

i read tracy's blog... reminded me about my secondary school life and whatever that i went through.. what is going on? i think my life is in a mess too...

and this time round it is a total mess... i think you are refering to me in your entry..i dont know why.. but i just feel that way...

everyone is seeking for it...but when will we get it?

everything is turning into a joke... a joke that i am so tired of.. maybe saying that it is no longer funny helps?

maybe it is time to live in my own shell again... i rather not feel anything then having the happiest moments and the saddest moments in 24 hours...

ya...everything is in a mess but i dont seem to find the right reason to cry...

cry because i am having bad results?

cry because i am not of much help all the time?

cry because i disappointed my mother?

cry because i lied to myself when i am actually standing there alone?

something is not right... this is bad...

i hate night time... after 12..when i am all alone.. i am tired of msn... tired of all the silly little things that i deduce and know when i am talking to people...

if only i can control.. if only i have a choice.. i will choose to not be senstitive... be like her... her life is going the way it should be... she always seems happy although i know that she is stressed sometimes...

so sad... i am just a super sensitive cancer here...plus the attention seeking leo...

ya..that is me...

fairy airy...that is what i am feeling now... i think i need a drink... maybe just the 2 of us? ya... you will be ok... i know... things will be ok... i will be praying in whatever ways i can for you...

i hate being alone now... i wet the keyboard... when was the last time that this happen?

what will happen if my mother open the door now? what will she say? i dont know... i know i cant let her see me cry...

yes... i am alone... everything in a mess... nothing is going the right way...

i hope they soon will go the right way... i know they will...

whatelse can i believe in other then this?

you will still see me smile and laugh like no one's business...

you will still see me scream and shout over that gross thing...

but when you see that i am all quiet and alone and staring into space, you will know that i am thinking again...

yes...happy and sad...i experienced all in a day...

yes... smiles and tears...i experienced all in a day...

ya...i am learning the right acting skills now...

~*so what if i cried?*~

~*nothing changed*~

~*i still have to smile*~

~*i am still alone in all the mess*~