~*congrats*~
~*i changed the layout*~
~*it is an old one that i used before*~
~*i still think it rocks*~
today is suppose to be a nice day... cause i ha ice cream for breakfast.. but so sad... hmm... when i reached the bus stop, i saw this notice about a lost dog... ok... be specific.. my friend's dog is missing... how sad..
then come eight below... i went ALONE... that is a nice try... it is a sad show...or rather a touching show... had a great cry.. you will understand more if you have a dog.. cause when i reach home and i see my baby, woah...the feeling is ... hmm... dont know how to explain.. it somehow teach me how to treasure...
it is good to know that people around me are happier recently.. i dont know whether they are true to themselves or not...but still they are leading their lives well infront of others...
okok...every week once..thats not a nice feeling.. i dont know what will happen if... hmm... dont touch on this topic le...
still i think my senses are darn accurate la.. please praise me... my prediction skills too.. they rocks... believe it or not... what i sensed happened... and i sensed something that i dont know a single bit about.. aiyo... confused... ultimately is my senses works!!!
maybe that is not a good thing too.. hmm... i sense abit too many things recently le... not alot but just some.. which i dont know whether it is accurate or not.. but still.. like that lor... we shall wait and see.. more than once le huh...
okok.. something stupid happened in class today... argh... i feel like biting someone up... argh... eecks
turning them off... i mean my senses... haha...
ok..so today is not a bad day afterall... i manage to change my blog skin although i left something out.. iwill go edit later... and no more secrets this blog skin... d=
it happened once a week... i wonder what will happen if i try that on YOU... anyway.. i bet you dont even care!!!... ya right...so why should i? why should i give it a damn?
what feeling is that? angry or sad? i dont know... but i think it better be anger... so i will be able to find happy after that with ease...
oopx... i am suppose to work on my GRAMMAR... okok.. i fail my General Paper also cause my english just sucks... hmm...so... maybe i should be putting nice nice essay formed entry up here le??
haha...
~*EightBelow*~
~*Alone*~
~*i need a sinseh for my poor bus number 11 now*~
~* C= *~
`will it happen again?`mayb`u nv noe
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
.::what an entry::.
~*i was quite sad*~
~*until i start to think*~
~*hmm... i think i need a cry*~
i think it is time for a cry... i shall go and see eight below on my own... asap~~!!! not to have a cry but i am just interested in the movie... and i want to know how it feels to go watch a movie ALONE... C=
oh ya..my ankle.. sunday... laoshi see le... i told him got abit swell.. hmmm...he said...this call abit ah? oopx... haha... then he said the swell got no where to off...hmm... dont know how to phrase... so.. he press and he say...the swell go off le...but later will come back and sure enough... hmmm...
that night can run.. i run across the street... today... cannot!!!! what is wrong... someone teach me how to run 2.4...haha... worse, shuttle run... hmm... it is still swollen...
anyway... i manage to spot something... please praise me... C=
sorry that i am abit lazy..cause i dont really read every single souls' blog... so be glad that i spot this on tracy's blog... d= here goes::
List down seven qualities of my perfect lover[list the gender too]and tag another seven bloggers to do this
Gender: Male
[i]someone who will be willing to explain and listen to my explanations should something happen between us
`explanation is important... i mean.. i think i am understanding... do things got 交代 (jiao1 dai4) and everything will be fine with me... C=`
[ii]someone who is willing to call me on the phone even if there is no reason
`communication is important!!! d=`
[iii]someone who knows what i am thinking about even before i open my mouth
`so he can dig out all those hidden message that i am trying to tell him but have no courage to`
[iv]someone who can stand my nagging
`ok...not nagging, bu concern ok? if i am not concern, i would not even nag... d=`
[v]someone who will always try to reply every single one of my messages
`i hate it when people dont reply my message although i sometimes do that too... it dont feel good to be waiting for something...d=`
[vi]someone who is caring
`it is nice to know that someone cares about you... C=`
[vii]someone who will be there for me
`just someone who can be there, dont need always.. but most of the time, for all the good or bad things that i am going through... i mean that is what most of us want... company... someone who just understands... C=`
[viii]sense of humour
`so there wont be awkward silence`
the lucky SEVENS~!!!
[1] Cassandra
[2] Christine
[3] Jeslyn
[4] WahTuck
[5] HannBin
[6] WeiHong
[7] Rachel
i bet alot of people would not notice this... ahah... so please inform them!!! haha... force them to write... i bet all of your are curious also... dont lie...haha... d=
okok... thats the end of the qualities thing...
hmm... come back to the topic.. i realise i am lying to myself... i dont whether there are reasons or simply because it is time for me to move on? but still... i am trying to learn to be contented with what i have...
~*great*~
~*you did it again*~
~*that day*~
~*that day you left without a word*~
```hmm...whats wrong with blogger? i lost connection just now...will it be down soon? like some stupid diary that just crush and everyone loses every single entry? oh... no... i dun wan that... all my 180s over entries!!! argh...
~*learn to spell the word*~
~*c-o-n-t-e-n-t-e-d*~`
sori i lied`i haven move on
~*until i start to think*~
~*hmm... i think i need a cry*~
i think it is time for a cry... i shall go and see eight below on my own... asap~~!!! not to have a cry but i am just interested in the movie... and i want to know how it feels to go watch a movie ALONE... C=
oh ya..my ankle.. sunday... laoshi see le... i told him got abit swell.. hmmm...he said...this call abit ah? oopx... haha... then he said the swell got no where to off...hmm... dont know how to phrase... so.. he press and he say...the swell go off le...but later will come back and sure enough... hmmm...
that night can run.. i run across the street... today... cannot!!!! what is wrong... someone teach me how to run 2.4...haha... worse, shuttle run... hmm... it is still swollen...
anyway... i manage to spot something... please praise me... C=
sorry that i am abit lazy..cause i dont really read every single souls' blog... so be glad that i spot this on tracy's blog... d= here goes::
List down seven qualities of my perfect lover[list the gender too]and tag another seven bloggers to do this
Gender: Male
[i]someone who will be willing to explain and listen to my explanations should something happen between us
`explanation is important... i mean.. i think i am understanding... do things got 交代 (jiao1 dai4) and everything will be fine with me... C=`
[ii]someone who is willing to call me on the phone even if there is no reason
`communication is important!!! d=`
[iii]someone who knows what i am thinking about even before i open my mouth
`so he can dig out all those hidden message that i am trying to tell him but have no courage to`
[iv]someone who can stand my nagging
`ok...not nagging, bu concern ok? if i am not concern, i would not even nag... d=`
[v]someone who will always try to reply every single one of my messages
`i hate it when people dont reply my message although i sometimes do that too... it dont feel good to be waiting for something...d=`
[vi]someone who is caring
`it is nice to know that someone cares about you... C=`
[vii]someone who will be there for me
`just someone who can be there, dont need always.. but most of the time, for all the good or bad things that i am going through... i mean that is what most of us want... company... someone who just understands... C=`
[viii]sense of humour
`so there wont be awkward silence`
the lucky SEVENS~!!!
[1] Cassandra
[2] Christine
[3] Jeslyn
[4] WahTuck
[5] HannBin
[6] WeiHong
[7] Rachel
i bet alot of people would not notice this... ahah... so please inform them!!! haha... force them to write... i bet all of your are curious also... dont lie...haha... d=
okok... thats the end of the qualities thing...
hmm... come back to the topic.. i realise i am lying to myself... i dont whether there are reasons or simply because it is time for me to move on? but still... i am trying to learn to be contented with what i have...
~*great*~
~*you did it again*~
~*that day*~
~*that day you left without a word*~
```hmm...whats wrong with blogger? i lost connection just now...will it be down soon? like some stupid diary that just crush and everyone loses every single entry? oh... no... i dun wan that... all my 180s over entries!!! argh...
~*learn to spell the word*~
~*c-o-n-t-e-n-t-e-d*~`
sori i lied`i haven move on
Sunday, April 23, 2006
.::HAPPY DAY!!!::.
~*HAPPY DAY!!!*~
~*ok... i feel stupid*~
haha... i feel stupid... cause i rewrite my biology skill A SPA for the third time le!!! argh... haha
anyway... got to continue writing...haha...
~*thats all*~
~*PA TML!!!*~
`iz actuali bcox i m waitin again2nite
~*ok... i feel stupid*~
haha... i feel stupid... cause i rewrite my biology skill A SPA for the third time le!!! argh... haha
anyway... got to continue writing...haha...
~*thats all*~
~*PA TML!!!*~
`iz actuali bcox i m waitin again2nite
Friday, April 21, 2006
.::make use of me?ya right::.
~*should i be angry that someone make use of me?*~
~*or should i be happy that i am of use to you?*~
ok...this stupid person...someone that i never really talk to.. suddenly talk to me... and clever me predict that he has a favour to ask from me...
oh... did i say that i dont really like this kind of people although i know that most people are like that... i mean... you cant be good to every single soul on earth...
ok... i cant deny the fact that i am that kind of person too... but i still dont like it~~!
anyway... if he didnt have a favour to ask from me, i bet we will never talk again...
whatever la...
or should i really be happy that i am of use? but anyway.. i just dont like that idea...
make use of people... or am i thinking too much?
i dont know... and i dont wish to know more le...
~*get lost*~
~* d= *~
~*ok.. i am not that angry now*~
~*look at the bright side right?*~
~*i am still of some use to YOU!*~
~* `argh~~! *~
~*i will still smile*~
~* C= *~
`thx4askin`u let mi noe tt u noticed`u let mi noe tt u cared`bt i noe i m nt top on e list
~*or should i be happy that i am of use to you?*~
ok...this stupid person...someone that i never really talk to.. suddenly talk to me... and clever me predict that he has a favour to ask from me...
oh... did i say that i dont really like this kind of people although i know that most people are like that... i mean... you cant be good to every single soul on earth...
ok... i cant deny the fact that i am that kind of person too... but i still dont like it~~!
anyway... if he didnt have a favour to ask from me, i bet we will never talk again...
whatever la...
or should i really be happy that i am of use? but anyway.. i just dont like that idea...
make use of people... or am i thinking too much?
i dont know... and i dont wish to know more le...
~*get lost*~
~* d= *~
~*ok.. i am not that angry now*~
~*look at the bright side right?*~
~*i am still of some use to YOU!*~
~* `argh~~! *~
~*i will still smile*~
~* C= *~
`thx4askin`u let mi noe tt u noticed`u let mi noe tt u cared`bt i noe i m nt top on e list
Thursday, April 20, 2006
.::hows life for everyone?::.
~*hows life for all of your recently?*~
~*i miss your!*~
~*thanks for the photos*~
i really cannot go back... i am so tired that i no longer have time to have mood swing or think about stupid things... but i hope that i end the week wonderfully?
nothing much happened actually.. maybe that is the fact why i am not really happy...
ya... i do need a life with ups and downs to let me know that being happy is something really nice...
i thought of something... promises...
i will never want promises from anyone ever again in my life... and i will try to give any promise... cause i just conclude that promises are meant to be broken...
life is just like that...
i realise that i promised that i will take care of the new camera... but i lose it that very day...
i promised that i will get good result but up till now i get nothing...
i promised that i will use one year to earn back the camera... but i know it is impossible...
so what are promises for? for breaking... so sad... so no more promises... or rather.. i would not make empty promises... i try...
and i will never ask for promises from my loved ones ever again... ok.. i try not to ask for promises... d=
i hope everyone is ok... afew more months and we are all FREE!!! haha...
i really miss alot of people... haix... but anyway...
i hope you all miss me
i hope you all are happy
i hope you all take care
i hope you all cope well with studies
i miss you all
anyway... please dont let me think that something not good and not right is happening... got anything must update me!!! C=
~*i really hope what i hope*~
~*i mean it*~
`especiali2u
~*i miss your!*~
~*thanks for the photos*~
i really cannot go back... i am so tired that i no longer have time to have mood swing or think about stupid things... but i hope that i end the week wonderfully?
nothing much happened actually.. maybe that is the fact why i am not really happy...
ya... i do need a life with ups and downs to let me know that being happy is something really nice...
i thought of something... promises...
i will never want promises from anyone ever again in my life... and i will try to give any promise... cause i just conclude that promises are meant to be broken...
life is just like that...
i realise that i promised that i will take care of the new camera... but i lose it that very day...
i promised that i will get good result but up till now i get nothing...
i promised that i will use one year to earn back the camera... but i know it is impossible...
so what are promises for? for breaking... so sad... so no more promises... or rather.. i would not make empty promises... i try...
and i will never ask for promises from my loved ones ever again... ok.. i try not to ask for promises... d=
i hope everyone is ok... afew more months and we are all FREE!!! haha...
i really miss alot of people... haix... but anyway...
i hope you all miss me
i hope you all are happy
i hope you all take care
i hope you all cope well with studies
i miss you all
anyway... please dont let me think that something not good and not right is happening... got anything must update me!!! C=
~*i really hope what i hope*~
~*i mean it*~
`especiali2u
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
.::lies::.
.::love?::.
~*i am ok today!!!*~
~*i am ok today!!!*~
~*again*~
~*but she is not*~
i think people have this bad habit... lying to themselves to make themselves
happier... although most of the time they know that the lies that they said to
themselves will never last...
you need more and more lies to tell yourself that you are happy... but are you
really happy? i bet only you know the truth...
i dont really understands what she hope for in the end... i dont really know what
she is really feeling now... but i know... her feelings were real...
something that no one will ever know... is what are the lies that she is telling
herself...
sometimes people dont need any reason to hold on to their feelings... but they
usually need thousands of reasons to just let go...
i hope she will be happy...everyone in this world deserve to be happy...
my left eye is twitching... but i know nothing good that i hope for will ever
happen... i only hope for little things...
i bet she, too, only needs little things to make her happy... but seems like there
are just somethings that you have to act as though you dont know or nothing have
happened... i hope you are happy...
i really hope you are happy... or rather... i hope you are really happy... the real
side of you... not the one that is full of lies... cause i know how bad that
feels...
there are so many burning questions.. i am doubting whatever that are happening... i
dont know whether they are true... but still, what else can i do except believe?
that is just what happened...
people are greedy too... i admit i am... i think everyone is... i bet she, too, is
greedy... no offence... who would not ask for more when they got what they want?
especially when it comes to things like `love and `like...
but still... my left eye stop twitching and it just means nothing... although
nothing good happened to me yet, i hope something good will happen real soon
maybe this is something that i understand... i understand what she is going
through...finally i understand... but i know i cant help... cause i cant even help
myself when it comes to things like this...
maybe i should wait and see how things go.. maybe that is just what she should do
also... cause that is the only thing that she can do now...
i believe in my tarot cards... and i believe that she will be happy...
~*smiles*~
~*they belongs on your face*~
~*i believe*~
`sori`ocnam il`yes`u`c my nick
~*i am ok today!!!*~
~*again*~
~*but she is not*~
i think people have this bad habit... lying to themselves to make themselves
happier... although most of the time they know that the lies that they said to
themselves will never last...
you need more and more lies to tell yourself that you are happy... but are you
really happy? i bet only you know the truth...
i dont really understands what she hope for in the end... i dont really know what
she is really feeling now... but i know... her feelings were real...
something that no one will ever know... is what are the lies that she is telling
herself...
sometimes people dont need any reason to hold on to their feelings... but they
usually need thousands of reasons to just let go...
i hope she will be happy...everyone in this world deserve to be happy...
my left eye is twitching... but i know nothing good that i hope for will ever
happen... i only hope for little things...
i bet she, too, only needs little things to make her happy... but seems like there
are just somethings that you have to act as though you dont know or nothing have
happened... i hope you are happy...
i really hope you are happy... or rather... i hope you are really happy... the real
side of you... not the one that is full of lies... cause i know how bad that
feels...
there are so many burning questions.. i am doubting whatever that are happening... i
dont know whether they are true... but still, what else can i do except believe?
that is just what happened...
people are greedy too... i admit i am... i think everyone is... i bet she, too, is
greedy... no offence... who would not ask for more when they got what they want?
especially when it comes to things like `love and `like...
but still... my left eye stop twitching and it just means nothing... although
nothing good happened to me yet, i hope something good will happen real soon
maybe this is something that i understand... i understand what she is going
through...finally i understand... but i know i cant help... cause i cant even help
myself when it comes to things like this...
maybe i should wait and see how things go.. maybe that is just what she should do
also... cause that is the only thing that she can do now...
i believe in my tarot cards... and i believe that she will be happy...
~*smiles*~
~*they belongs on your face*~
~*i believe*~
`sori`ocnam il`yes`u`c my nick
.::random entry::.
~*i know it is late*~
~*but still i am here*~
maybe i should not really think too much...haha... nevermind... today is a happy day...
but someone or rather some people spoilt the night... not blaming my neighbour for having his sink choke up or something.. but blame the contractor who is so so clever... go and poke the pipe... poke so deep that it broke my house de pipe...
argh... thats all...
anyway... eek... think of it...so dirty...argh...
~*sorry i lied*~
~*sorry i tried to lie to myself*~
~*i loss again*~
~*i should have alighted first*~
~*but still*~
~*I AM HAPPY TODAY*~
`sori i lie`bt i did try2move on`i tried`bt i failed`no1noes
~*but still i am here*~
maybe i should not really think too much...haha... nevermind... today is a happy day...
but someone or rather some people spoilt the night... not blaming my neighbour for having his sink choke up or something.. but blame the contractor who is so so clever... go and poke the pipe... poke so deep that it broke my house de pipe...
argh... thats all...
anyway... eek... think of it...so dirty...argh...
~*sorry i lied*~
~*sorry i tried to lie to myself*~
~*i loss again*~
~*i should have alighted first*~
~*but still*~
~*I AM HAPPY TODAY*~
`sori i lie`bt i did try2move on`i tried`bt i failed`no1noes
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
.::today is a happy day::.
~*today is a happy day*~
~*i wish i know why*~
i think i need to apologise for my mood swing... i bet it irritated some people... 'ok this girl is having some silly problem and trying to get attention le...' haha... whatever.. i bet some people think that way...
sorry
well...anyway... today is a much better day... haas... got a few reasons.. hmm...
haha...
i bought chocolates... that makes me happy cause i very long didnt buy chocolate le!!!
i went to a clever polyclinic in hope to get a MC but the polyclnic too clever so i didnt get any...so fine...whatever... haha... good mood... so i simply enjoyed my trip to and fro...
i didnt think about sad thing today... so i am happy...
i skip the study programme... dont need to stay until 6 today... so i am quite happy for that... but who knows what will happen to me tomorrow... oopx...haha
the ultimate thing... i walked in the rain today!!! yes... i did that yesterday but i simply love the rain today!!! haha...
the raindrops are so fine, though not as fine as those that i saw on sunday night, but still it is fine.. haha... much much better than yesterday...
i think i feel happy also because i feel proud of myself... i can actually multi task..haha.. praise me... ok... i claim that i can multi task... ok? anyone not happy? haha... oopx...
did chemistry practical skill A during chemistry lecture...and i manage to get everything... and i am quite happy that i am getting more homework... that means i got more things to do and less time to think!! haha... C=
sadist huh.. sorry... haha...
see the multiple face of me? i am like that... this is one true side of me... the happy me.. i can get happy over so many silly things...
yes...and there is the sad me... i bet that is just what everyone has..
and please remember that for whatever face that i am putting, i am still a sensitive freak, a sensitive censor!!! haha... sometimes it can be a good thing.. but most of the time it is not!!
ok... what should i do next? please wish me luck... i am having chemistry test tomorrow...haha...
hmmm...well the next thing to do is not to study but to hide chocolate!!! hhaa... i got monsters at home!!!
oh ya.. did i mention that the MOUSE is a LAME one?
oopx.. haha... please be glad and you should be honoured that i mention you in my blog AGAIN!!!
jiayou!!! in a few months and we are all FREE!!!
HERE I COME!!!
~*happy*~
~*look at the brighter side*~
~*please remember your sunglasses*~
~*please laugh*~
~* C= *~
`r tings stil e same?`wad make u hapi?`i tink tt make mi sad`i m gng2smile2let u tink tt i m ok
~*i wish i know why*~
i think i need to apologise for my mood swing... i bet it irritated some people... 'ok this girl is having some silly problem and trying to get attention le...' haha... whatever.. i bet some people think that way...
sorry
well...anyway... today is a much better day... haas... got a few reasons.. hmm...
haha...
i bought chocolates... that makes me happy cause i very long didnt buy chocolate le!!!
i went to a clever polyclinic in hope to get a MC but the polyclnic too clever so i didnt get any...so fine...whatever... haha... good mood... so i simply enjoyed my trip to and fro...
i didnt think about sad thing today... so i am happy...
i skip the study programme... dont need to stay until 6 today... so i am quite happy for that... but who knows what will happen to me tomorrow... oopx...haha
the ultimate thing... i walked in the rain today!!! yes... i did that yesterday but i simply love the rain today!!! haha...
the raindrops are so fine, though not as fine as those that i saw on sunday night, but still it is fine.. haha... much much better than yesterday...
i think i feel happy also because i feel proud of myself... i can actually multi task..haha.. praise me... ok... i claim that i can multi task... ok? anyone not happy? haha... oopx...
did chemistry practical skill A during chemistry lecture...and i manage to get everything... and i am quite happy that i am getting more homework... that means i got more things to do and less time to think!! haha... C=
sadist huh.. sorry... haha...
see the multiple face of me? i am like that... this is one true side of me... the happy me.. i can get happy over so many silly things...
yes...and there is the sad me... i bet that is just what everyone has..
and please remember that for whatever face that i am putting, i am still a sensitive freak, a sensitive censor!!! haha... sometimes it can be a good thing.. but most of the time it is not!!
ok... what should i do next? please wish me luck... i am having chemistry test tomorrow...haha...
hmmm...well the next thing to do is not to study but to hide chocolate!!! hhaa... i got monsters at home!!!
oh ya.. did i mention that the MOUSE is a LAME one?
oopx.. haha... please be glad and you should be honoured that i mention you in my blog AGAIN!!!
jiayou!!! in a few months and we are all FREE!!!
HERE I COME!!!
~*happy*~
~*look at the brighter side*~
~*please remember your sunglasses*~
~*please laugh*~
~* C= *~
`r tings stil e same?`wad make u hapi?`i tink tt make mi sad`i m gng2smile2let u tink tt i m ok
Monday, April 17, 2006
.::ya...silly me::.
~*asking for something that i dont deserve*~
~*i walked and ran in the rain*~
i ran in the rain with my friends to catch a bus... i boarded 142 and transferred to 985 since it is raining... i boarded a cold bus... freeze till my nails turn purple as usual... i alight and walked in the rain to the market to get something for mother...
i dont think i care anymore... i am back to the same situation that i am in back months ago... there are just no reason for me to hold on... but i just need a dozens of reasons to let go... that is just the typical CANCER i suppose... so is it something good?
i know it will be over soon... it will be over one day... but how long do i have to wait? i dont know... maybe if end of year arrive earlier, i will be much much happier...
i consulted the tarots on tonnes of things... should i deem it as coincidental that i got same final card? it is the same card... even i dont believe it... but again... who am i to comment on my tarot cards? cause i dont even know what will happen in the end...
my life is filled with lies... i kept thinking about it whenever i am free...maybe that is the reason why i am so down in the mood these few days... i dont know how long it will last...cause i know things will never be settled that easily...
i dont deserve what i want cause i am not appreciative of what i have... i am not giving it a damn, who am i to ask for more? so just dont care please...
contradiction... i dont know what i want... sometimes i just wish that i have not come so far... maybe just like the others... dont care... but i know i cant let go just like that... i cant control...
i know i am always blogging the same old things in all my entries... and i do ought to be happier... but... there is always a 'but' in my life... hmmm...so... what else can i say?
ok...the rain do make my mood lighter... feel better...
~*i think you will see a smile on my face*~
~*i have to smile*~
~* C= *~
`i cant show my troubles`cox ppl wil juz tink i m as usual paranoid away
~*i walked and ran in the rain*~
i ran in the rain with my friends to catch a bus... i boarded 142 and transferred to 985 since it is raining... i boarded a cold bus... freeze till my nails turn purple as usual... i alight and walked in the rain to the market to get something for mother...
i dont think i care anymore... i am back to the same situation that i am in back months ago... there are just no reason for me to hold on... but i just need a dozens of reasons to let go... that is just the typical CANCER i suppose... so is it something good?
i know it will be over soon... it will be over one day... but how long do i have to wait? i dont know... maybe if end of year arrive earlier, i will be much much happier...
i consulted the tarots on tonnes of things... should i deem it as coincidental that i got same final card? it is the same card... even i dont believe it... but again... who am i to comment on my tarot cards? cause i dont even know what will happen in the end...
my life is filled with lies... i kept thinking about it whenever i am free...maybe that is the reason why i am so down in the mood these few days... i dont know how long it will last...cause i know things will never be settled that easily...
i dont deserve what i want cause i am not appreciative of what i have... i am not giving it a damn, who am i to ask for more? so just dont care please...
contradiction... i dont know what i want... sometimes i just wish that i have not come so far... maybe just like the others... dont care... but i know i cant let go just like that... i cant control...
i know i am always blogging the same old things in all my entries... and i do ought to be happier... but... there is always a 'but' in my life... hmmm...so... what else can i say?
ok...the rain do make my mood lighter... feel better...
~*i think you will see a smile on my face*~
~*i have to smile*~
~* C= *~
`i cant show my troubles`cox ppl wil juz tink i m as usual paranoid away
.::stop lying to myself::.
.::i am not that happy afterall::.
~*maybe i really should not lie*~
~*i am not that happy afterall*~
~*i know people are careless at times*~
~*but i know i am not*~
i know people are careless at times... but when you are careless enough to miss someone out, it simply means that that person just dont mean anything... maybe not dont mean anything...but just not that important...
my right eye twitched like siao before this... hmm... so i suppose this is just the thing that it is refering to...
poeple come and go in your life without saying anything... that seems sad.. .i never want that to happen.. i think that is the reason why i always want replies and want things to be accounted for?
sorry...mouse... abit fierce... maybe you think i am abit stupid.. but it just seems not right... not once but twice huh... leave without saying anything hauha......haha... thank you for remembering and informing me that you are leaving NOWADAYS... haha...
i also dont know how to put this across... but i think most of you all understand...
i hope i understand... i hope i know... i hope i learn from lessons... but so sad i dont... so many things that are just going up and down and yet they are not within my control... how i wish that things can be within MY control... but so sad... there are just so many things that i never know how to let it go the right way...
one of which is emotions... happy or sad, it is never me... it is always something that someone do... or something that happen or maybe someone...
i think most people are just like that... yes... we move in and out of people's life.. it is really time for me to move on... i know... but maybe before i do that, i really should stop lying... stop lying to myself that i am happy...
there is this stupid question in my mind... that i dont have a single idea how to ask... maybe that is the question that i will have for long... time will be the answer... i mean.. that is what i have been doing all the while...
should i believe in my tarot cards... it is always never true when it comes to good things? it only seems to be true when it comes to bad things.. i am not sure.. but seems like things now are just what my tarots are saying... maybe it is time to ask again..
i have my fear... fear... what if this time round it is something not good?i dont know... that is why i choose not to do anything... choose not to touch my tarot cards... maybe it is really time to ask again... and maybe it is really time to move on...
i dont know... lets hope it rain tomorrow... maybe i will then have the chance to walk in the rain... when you walk in the rain when you are sad, it just give you the chance to cry... cry in the reality... no point crying at home... cause you are in your world... not in reality...
maybe walking in the rain will makes you think that you cried... cause you dont knwo which are tears and which are rain drops... so ... i will be happier after i have 'cried'
ok.. i typed a whole lot... but i lost them... managed to recover only this bit... but still i will continue...
i think i hate my brain... or i hate my heart.. or i hate both.. cause they never discuss... my heart is always doing whatever it wants... ok... i hate my heart... it always left my poor brain to think about what to do next... and she just simply doing and getting whatever that she want...
stupid...
no one can really control most of the time... not even me... idont know how to... cause it is always something that someone do, something that happened or someone that control or rather affects it...
maybe it is really time to stop lying... and sorry if you dont understand what i am trying to say...
cause that is just what i intended to do... no one will understand what i blogged...
i blogged because i dont know how to tell someone or somepeople how i feel.. so through blogging... hoping that heaven will decide whether they will get to see this entry... so... maybe i am referring to something that you have done all these while?
haha... i think i should end here... cause ultimately.. i can change whatever that is happeneing...
i can only conclude that i dont mean as much as i thought i meant...
i thought i meant more.. but sadly i dont... so.. hmm... careless or whatever.. or i concluded too much... or i over senstive or i paranoid... anything... i dont care...... ok... i hope i dont care...
so maybe if you thought i am refering to you or you and your friends in any entry, you can just ask me... the answer will be YES or NO, but dont trying asking for anyother things else.. cause i know i would not say...
so if it is YOU, or YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS, and you ask, i will just tell you...
hmm... naggy and crappy...
i just have to smile... cause i kknow i dont have enough reason to cry...
maybe i will walk in the rain tomorrow...
~*smile*~
~*rain*~
~*cry*~
~*i will be happier*~
`u wil nv ask`dun even noe if u read NOW`even if u do`i jux noe wad i wil say
~*i am not that happy afterall*~
~*i know people are careless at times*~
~*but i know i am not*~
i know people are careless at times... but when you are careless enough to miss someone out, it simply means that that person just dont mean anything... maybe not dont mean anything...but just not that important...
my right eye twitched like siao before this... hmm... so i suppose this is just the thing that it is refering to...
poeple come and go in your life without saying anything... that seems sad.. .i never want that to happen.. i think that is the reason why i always want replies and want things to be accounted for?
sorry...mouse... abit fierce... maybe you think i am abit stupid.. but it just seems not right... not once but twice huh... leave without saying anything hauha......haha... thank you for remembering and informing me that you are leaving NOWADAYS... haha...
i also dont know how to put this across... but i think most of you all understand...
i hope i understand... i hope i know... i hope i learn from lessons... but so sad i dont... so many things that are just going up and down and yet they are not within my control... how i wish that things can be within MY control... but so sad... there are just so many things that i never know how to let it go the right way...
one of which is emotions... happy or sad, it is never me... it is always something that someone do... or something that happen or maybe someone...
i think most people are just like that... yes... we move in and out of people's life.. it is really time for me to move on... i know... but maybe before i do that, i really should stop lying... stop lying to myself that i am happy...
there is this stupid question in my mind... that i dont have a single idea how to ask... maybe that is the question that i will have for long... time will be the answer... i mean.. that is what i have been doing all the while...
should i believe in my tarot cards... it is always never true when it comes to good things? it only seems to be true when it comes to bad things.. i am not sure.. but seems like things now are just what my tarots are saying... maybe it is time to ask again..
i have my fear... fear... what if this time round it is something not good?i dont know... that is why i choose not to do anything... choose not to touch my tarot cards... maybe it is really time to ask again... and maybe it is really time to move on...
i dont know... lets hope it rain tomorrow... maybe i will then have the chance to walk in the rain... when you walk in the rain when you are sad, it just give you the chance to cry... cry in the reality... no point crying at home... cause you are in your world... not in reality...
maybe walking in the rain will makes you think that you cried... cause you dont knwo which are tears and which are rain drops... so ... i will be happier after i have 'cried'
ok.. i typed a whole lot... but i lost them... managed to recover only this bit... but still i will continue...
i think i hate my brain... or i hate my heart.. or i hate both.. cause they never discuss... my heart is always doing whatever it wants... ok... i hate my heart... it always left my poor brain to think about what to do next... and she just simply doing and getting whatever that she want...
stupid...
no one can really control most of the time... not even me... idont know how to... cause it is always something that someone do, something that happened or someone that control or rather affects it...
maybe it is really time to stop lying... and sorry if you dont understand what i am trying to say...
cause that is just what i intended to do... no one will understand what i blogged...
i blogged because i dont know how to tell someone or somepeople how i feel.. so through blogging... hoping that heaven will decide whether they will get to see this entry... so... maybe i am referring to something that you have done all these while?
haha... i think i should end here... cause ultimately.. i can change whatever that is happeneing...
i can only conclude that i dont mean as much as i thought i meant...
i thought i meant more.. but sadly i dont... so.. hmm... careless or whatever.. or i concluded too much... or i over senstive or i paranoid... anything... i dont care...... ok... i hope i dont care...
so maybe if you thought i am refering to you or you and your friends in any entry, you can just ask me... the answer will be YES or NO, but dont trying asking for anyother things else.. cause i know i would not say...
so if it is YOU, or YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS, and you ask, i will just tell you...
hmm... naggy and crappy...
i just have to smile... cause i kknow i dont have enough reason to cry...
maybe i will walk in the rain tomorrow...
~*smile*~
~*rain*~
~*cry*~
~*i will be happier*~
`u wil nv ask`dun even noe if u read NOW`even if u do`i jux noe wad i wil say
Sunday, April 16, 2006
.::late nights::.
~*late nights are still as happy as before*~
~*cause i only have happy thoughts*~
~*so it is happy day all day long*~
i am not quite used to the fact that i am no longer thinking that much at night... i mean... think alot better.. like that life will have more ups and downs... hmm...but sometimes think too much do make one real sad...
i also dont know how to say... when i am happy and everything is going on fine, i will try to dig out something that is sad in my mind and start thinking about it...over and over again... what i get in the end? sad... not depression...
but still.. i think it is these unhappiness and sad stuff that makes me treasure my happy moments... but i do not want to have happy moments for long...cause they usually dont last... so... instead of living in my own complecent world with only happy things for a long period of time, i choose to be sad when i think i have enough happy things...
late nights are giving me out breaks... argh... i am just suddenly so sensitive to it... thanks to what my auntie have got for me... things got better...but late nights... eeks.. anyway... haha
i was watching da chang jin since my whole family is like crazy over it... it makes sense... loneliness... caused alot of problem... greed too...
maybe in the case of us and our society, people fear loneliness and do certain things to hurt other people... people around them... their fear for loneliness, or greed for something makes them do evil things.. not knowing that, actually with power and wealth and maybe popularity, you end up being more lonely and the greed that you can never fulfil... that is just so life... i mean it is life...
people moving in and out of our life... no one have the chance to give their 100% to their every friend or everyone around them... maybe only when people leave then you will understand how much they actually mean to you.. ya... that is also part of life... life is made up of so many things... so many that you cant list them out one by one...
there are also just things in life that some people never choose to admit to... maybe not just somethings, but a whole lot of things... again...that is life... there are just so many things that maybe hiding them up will make your life better or others life better...
and i cant deny... it is always a pleasure to not know so much... maybe sometimes people shoul stpo being curious.. but who on earth is not curious? i mean... not a single soul is.. so... hmm... maybe that is just part of life again...
maybe life should not be all about waiting... or am i the only one who think that life is all about waiting? haha.. i mean... life is really just about waiting... waiting for your goal to be reached... waiting for that day to come when you leave this world... waiting for whatever that you are waiting for... but cant deny.. from the day you are born, you need to wait for death to come... you never know when it will come... maybe tomorrow, i will be dead? who knows... but still.. whatever that is important is still to live life to the fullest...
that is just what everyone claims right? live life to the fullest... but do you really think that that is just what everyone is doing? the world is just full of restriction... so much that sometimes there are just no goals in life that belongs to you... they are just goals set by the society or in most case, by your parents...
there are so many unknowns in life that needs to be answer... maybe that is another goal in life... but whatever unknowns that one have to answer may not be determined by that individual... it could be the society again...
i dont know... the society is changing... all my 18 years of life... there are different things.. i mean... most of your saw the difference... but can you accept those changes?
maybe i should not mention something that is just so far from the reality that we are living in... maybe not very far but still, it is something out of our consideration...
maybe i should first learn how to cope with changes? i never want to get myself committed to anything... cause i know that everything have to end one day... but there are still many things on my hand... friends and family... you never know when they will end... i only know i would not be able to take it... who will be the one who can be there for me when i need someone to just to be willing to listen?
i think i am quite an extremist too... so extreme that i find myself abit scary... i mean... dont know since when, i stop watching every episodes in series... i mean... all i need to know is the story... so most of the time, i will just give certain episodes a miss...and it works ultimately... i dont feel the lost when that show end... ever tried missing all the characters in the series? i have been trying that all my life..
i am just an extremist who cannot take changes... i hate them..
ok.. i hate alot of things.. hate being wronged... hate people who keeps a whole lot of stuffs from me... and i hate changes... sometimes i just wonder why cant we just stayin one school or college in our entire education life... i know i mentioned that a tonnes lots of time.. haha... but stilll, that is still what i am thinking about...
there are just so many things in my life that i hope would not change... or maybe go back to what they used to be... life will be happier that way... alot happier.. and maybe less trouble...
there are also alot of things that i still dont dare to admit.. they are there all the while... i never choose to dig them out at times... but still they will surface one day... hmmm... actually i cant really name one now.. but still i know something is there... holding on... not knowing what or where that thing has gone wrong... but still... haix..
haha... ok.. i am not depressed... i just felt like typing a whole lot of stuff today... god knows how many people read this...and for the you, whoever you are, thanks for reading until so far hhuh... haha.. but are you sure you read everything? haha...
i think either no one reads my blog or my entries just leave people speechless and so no one tags on my tagboard.. haha...
oh ya... by the way.. i have to thank the kind soul who is always clicking on the *hugz* counter... giving me *hugz* ... but sad to say... i dont know who you/ your are... haha...
life is like that...so many things... there is just no one in this world who is totally happy... or totally perfect.. no one...
everyone need someone or something to make them complete... and maybe that is the reason why opposite things attracts, like the fact that guys like girls and girls like guys (most of the time la)... haha...
that is also just like love... love is something that is important in life too... maybe without love, that person dont deserve to be alive... and there is always something in love that makes it last... friends to like to love... the whole process is just so long... that you never know where it may just break... it is also the long process that makes alot of people treasure love and appreciate love..
treasure...hmm...that leads back to how much you treasure a person... you really never know until that person leave you...
oppostite attracts... it is like that in love... both parties willing to give and take... that is the thing that forge the bond... the bond between 2 people.. i assume that is something difficult too... cause whatever that has got to do with life and love is difficult and never that easy to understand...
that is the end of the crapping... i also dont know why i crap so much... i should be asleep long ago.. i told myself to sleep early.. ya.. it is earlyin the morning now..haha.. 3.15am... please praise me.. god knows how bad the out break will get tomorrow... haha
~*it is really easier to smile than frown*~
~*eveyone knows that*~
~*but not everyone can do that*~
~*so? spread the diesease*~
~*the smile*~
~*it is contagious*~
~*so beware*~
~*haha*~
~* C= *~
~*the smiley face*~
~*the one that do mean something*~
`how2admit`in life`i din move on`i tried
~*cause i only have happy thoughts*~
~*so it is happy day all day long*~
i am not quite used to the fact that i am no longer thinking that much at night... i mean... think alot better.. like that life will have more ups and downs... hmm...but sometimes think too much do make one real sad...
i also dont know how to say... when i am happy and everything is going on fine, i will try to dig out something that is sad in my mind and start thinking about it...over and over again... what i get in the end? sad... not depression...
but still.. i think it is these unhappiness and sad stuff that makes me treasure my happy moments... but i do not want to have happy moments for long...cause they usually dont last... so... instead of living in my own complecent world with only happy things for a long period of time, i choose to be sad when i think i have enough happy things...
late nights are giving me out breaks... argh... i am just suddenly so sensitive to it... thanks to what my auntie have got for me... things got better...but late nights... eeks.. anyway... haha
i was watching da chang jin since my whole family is like crazy over it... it makes sense... loneliness... caused alot of problem... greed too...
maybe in the case of us and our society, people fear loneliness and do certain things to hurt other people... people around them... their fear for loneliness, or greed for something makes them do evil things.. not knowing that, actually with power and wealth and maybe popularity, you end up being more lonely and the greed that you can never fulfil... that is just so life... i mean it is life...
people moving in and out of our life... no one have the chance to give their 100% to their every friend or everyone around them... maybe only when people leave then you will understand how much they actually mean to you.. ya... that is also part of life... life is made up of so many things... so many that you cant list them out one by one...
there are also just things in life that some people never choose to admit to... maybe not just somethings, but a whole lot of things... again...that is life... there are just so many things that maybe hiding them up will make your life better or others life better...
and i cant deny... it is always a pleasure to not know so much... maybe sometimes people shoul stpo being curious.. but who on earth is not curious? i mean... not a single soul is.. so... hmm... maybe that is just part of life again...
maybe life should not be all about waiting... or am i the only one who think that life is all about waiting? haha.. i mean... life is really just about waiting... waiting for your goal to be reached... waiting for that day to come when you leave this world... waiting for whatever that you are waiting for... but cant deny.. from the day you are born, you need to wait for death to come... you never know when it will come... maybe tomorrow, i will be dead? who knows... but still.. whatever that is important is still to live life to the fullest...
that is just what everyone claims right? live life to the fullest... but do you really think that that is just what everyone is doing? the world is just full of restriction... so much that sometimes there are just no goals in life that belongs to you... they are just goals set by the society or in most case, by your parents...
there are so many unknowns in life that needs to be answer... maybe that is another goal in life... but whatever unknowns that one have to answer may not be determined by that individual... it could be the society again...
i dont know... the society is changing... all my 18 years of life... there are different things.. i mean... most of your saw the difference... but can you accept those changes?
maybe i should not mention something that is just so far from the reality that we are living in... maybe not very far but still, it is something out of our consideration...
maybe i should first learn how to cope with changes? i never want to get myself committed to anything... cause i know that everything have to end one day... but there are still many things on my hand... friends and family... you never know when they will end... i only know i would not be able to take it... who will be the one who can be there for me when i need someone to just to be willing to listen?
i think i am quite an extremist too... so extreme that i find myself abit scary... i mean... dont know since when, i stop watching every episodes in series... i mean... all i need to know is the story... so most of the time, i will just give certain episodes a miss...and it works ultimately... i dont feel the lost when that show end... ever tried missing all the characters in the series? i have been trying that all my life..
i am just an extremist who cannot take changes... i hate them..
ok.. i hate alot of things.. hate being wronged... hate people who keeps a whole lot of stuffs from me... and i hate changes... sometimes i just wonder why cant we just stayin one school or college in our entire education life... i know i mentioned that a tonnes lots of time.. haha... but stilll, that is still what i am thinking about...
there are just so many things in my life that i hope would not change... or maybe go back to what they used to be... life will be happier that way... alot happier.. and maybe less trouble...
there are also alot of things that i still dont dare to admit.. they are there all the while... i never choose to dig them out at times... but still they will surface one day... hmmm... actually i cant really name one now.. but still i know something is there... holding on... not knowing what or where that thing has gone wrong... but still... haix..
haha... ok.. i am not depressed... i just felt like typing a whole lot of stuff today... god knows how many people read this...and for the you, whoever you are, thanks for reading until so far hhuh... haha.. but are you sure you read everything? haha...
i think either no one reads my blog or my entries just leave people speechless and so no one tags on my tagboard.. haha...
oh ya... by the way.. i have to thank the kind soul who is always clicking on the *hugz* counter... giving me *hugz* ... but sad to say... i dont know who you/ your are... haha...
life is like that...so many things... there is just no one in this world who is totally happy... or totally perfect.. no one...
everyone need someone or something to make them complete... and maybe that is the reason why opposite things attracts, like the fact that guys like girls and girls like guys (most of the time la)... haha...
that is also just like love... love is something that is important in life too... maybe without love, that person dont deserve to be alive... and there is always something in love that makes it last... friends to like to love... the whole process is just so long... that you never know where it may just break... it is also the long process that makes alot of people treasure love and appreciate love..
treasure...hmm...that leads back to how much you treasure a person... you really never know until that person leave you...
oppostite attracts... it is like that in love... both parties willing to give and take... that is the thing that forge the bond... the bond between 2 people.. i assume that is something difficult too... cause whatever that has got to do with life and love is difficult and never that easy to understand...
that is the end of the crapping... i also dont know why i crap so much... i should be asleep long ago.. i told myself to sleep early.. ya.. it is earlyin the morning now..haha.. 3.15am... please praise me.. god knows how bad the out break will get tomorrow... haha
~*it is really easier to smile than frown*~
~*eveyone knows that*~
~*but not everyone can do that*~
~*so? spread the diesease*~
~*the smile*~
~*it is contagious*~
~*so beware*~
~*haha*~
~* C= *~
~*the smiley face*~
~*the one that do mean something*~
`how2admit`in life`i din move on`i tried
Friday, April 14, 2006
.::happy entry::.
~*life is like that*~
~*ups and downs*~
life is like that... i can be crying in the night but the next morning i am happy like siao...
ok...high suger intake makes you happy... but i get abit guilty huh... haha...
life is just like that... so into horoscope, tarot cards and so many things lately... of course when i am free.. i am starting to wonder why... why bother to find so much about the future? why try to know what will happen tomorrow? i mean... there are just somethings that you decide for yourself... but still i choose to know more...
i want to know more... i want to be more certain about the future... i scare getting lost... i scare not knowing what will happen next... who is not afraid of this kind of things one? not knowing what will happen the next minute... not knowing when will bad things come...
anyway... life is just like that... people are always out looking for things to confirm certain other things... i am also like that... i am always out soughting for confirmation...
anyway... this is suppose to be one of the few rare happy entries... so...hmmm...
happy day today... my son birthday... haha.. ok... my auntie's grandson... ok...not my auntie... but my nanny...
haha
cute little boy... so much more cuter than dallan... i think that is why he always feel like slapping the boy whenever i show him the photo...haha
haha... i realise... crying do help... it is better to cry things out.. .just something to make me cry... and i will let everything out... haha...
so next time when i am sad... maybe someone should make me cry... haha... cause i will definitely feel much better after that...
life is like that... ups and downs...
maybe it is time to confirm what i really want before i continue to sought for confirmation from the outer world...
anyway... i just realise that my knee hurts... hmm... my left... whatever... haha
oh ya... i got a BAND 3 for pw... the whole school is getting that kind of grade, with only EIGHT INDIVIDUALS getting band 1... oh my... thats is like hell... i should not persist who is at fault... someone will get it back for us...
hello... the stupid bloody problem here now is... a low number of band 1 and oli less than 10 in each class getting band 2..
and hello... my class only a mere 3 people getting band 2... what is this? the number of people getting band 1 in our college is way lower than the PERCENTAGE of people getting band 1 in other college... arh... what is the world coming to?
dont say it i because our college stricter... who have thinner PW file than us? get the point? where are all the researches? hmmm... in the working file... -_-
what is this?
but still sorry... the whole thing here is... it is never our choice to leave it with us and not hand in in the final file... NOT US!!! definitely not the whole college... but that is just what the whole college did...
i think i should pray to her... argh..
anyway... let the good things continue lor... definitely not her... her reign is OVER!!!
GET RID OF HER!!! argh
she ROCKS the whole of SAJC... thats the solely only thing that i can say now...
disclaimer.. all of the above informations are just personal views and i should not be held responsible for whatever that may happen as a result of reading this entry. it is just an entry written without any objective to offend someone or to defame someone.
the disclaimer abit lame... i know that... but you never know... haha...
happy things... happy things...haha
today feel so saturday-ish...haha.. that was too random though...
haha
~*let everything continues*~
~*the good things*~
`sori`i m selfish`let mi do wadeva tt i want`10Q
~*ups and downs*~
life is like that... i can be crying in the night but the next morning i am happy like siao...
ok...high suger intake makes you happy... but i get abit guilty huh... haha...
life is just like that... so into horoscope, tarot cards and so many things lately... of course when i am free.. i am starting to wonder why... why bother to find so much about the future? why try to know what will happen tomorrow? i mean... there are just somethings that you decide for yourself... but still i choose to know more...
i want to know more... i want to be more certain about the future... i scare getting lost... i scare not knowing what will happen next... who is not afraid of this kind of things one? not knowing what will happen the next minute... not knowing when will bad things come...
anyway... life is just like that... people are always out looking for things to confirm certain other things... i am also like that... i am always out soughting for confirmation...
anyway... this is suppose to be one of the few rare happy entries... so...hmmm...
happy day today... my son birthday... haha.. ok... my auntie's grandson... ok...not my auntie... but my nanny...
haha
cute little boy... so much more cuter than dallan... i think that is why he always feel like slapping the boy whenever i show him the photo...haha
haha... i realise... crying do help... it is better to cry things out.. .just something to make me cry... and i will let everything out... haha...
so next time when i am sad... maybe someone should make me cry... haha... cause i will definitely feel much better after that...
life is like that... ups and downs...
maybe it is time to confirm what i really want before i continue to sought for confirmation from the outer world...
anyway... i just realise that my knee hurts... hmm... my left... whatever... haha
oh ya... i got a BAND 3 for pw... the whole school is getting that kind of grade, with only EIGHT INDIVIDUALS getting band 1... oh my... thats is like hell... i should not persist who is at fault... someone will get it back for us...
hello... the stupid bloody problem here now is... a low number of band 1 and oli less than 10 in each class getting band 2..
and hello... my class only a mere 3 people getting band 2... what is this? the number of people getting band 1 in our college is way lower than the PERCENTAGE of people getting band 1 in other college... arh... what is the world coming to?
dont say it i because our college stricter... who have thinner PW file than us? get the point? where are all the researches? hmmm... in the working file... -_-
what is this?
but still sorry... the whole thing here is... it is never our choice to leave it with us and not hand in in the final file... NOT US!!! definitely not the whole college... but that is just what the whole college did...
i think i should pray to her... argh..
anyway... let the good things continue lor... definitely not her... her reign is OVER!!!
GET RID OF HER!!! argh
she ROCKS the whole of SAJC... thats the solely only thing that i can say now...
disclaimer.. all of the above informations are just personal views and i should not be held responsible for whatever that may happen as a result of reading this entry. it is just an entry written without any objective to offend someone or to defame someone.
the disclaimer abit lame... i know that... but you never know... haha...
happy things... happy things...haha
today feel so saturday-ish...haha.. that was too random though...
haha
~*let everything continues*~
~*the good things*~
`sori`i m selfish`let mi do wadeva tt i want`10Q
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
.::i am happy today... but i am tired::.
~*i am hyper today*~
~* argh *~
~*tired*~
i dont know why i so tired today... felt like i am going to fall sick anytime...but anyway.. i am still alive... tomorrow is such a stupi long day can...but anyway.. haha.. is the last day of the week so i dont care... haha...
i know i am just too tired to think.. i think like that also better la... so tired that the moment i board the bus, i sleep... haha...
no time to think... tonight... i think i have like tonnes to do... so... thats all that i am going to write here before i disappear...
see the happy me on SUNDAY!!! haha...
sunday seems like the best day of the week although i have to see some people that i dont really wish t see...but it is still a happy day...all the stupid things that we can do there...haha...
the most important thing is i can sleep in till a later time!!! PIG... haha...whatever...
i didnt sleep during math and biology lecture today!!! ok... i dozed off for about one minute during biology but i didnt miss anything...
at the end of the lectures, i praise myself k? cause if i sleep during biology lecture i would have missed a hell lot of things... all empty...the lecturer say she loses one side of her contact lens so she didnt realise that her notes are so empty and so different from her slides... some serious copying...haha... going to reorganise the notes later...
maths lecture... the lecturer so super slow... we have 2 lecturer alternating... lucky today isthe male teacher... argh... dont know why he sound so happy when it comes to math...and dont know why the other lecturer, who is also my subject teacher, sound so sad when she talks about math... she seems to be singing a lullaby when she is lecturing... oops... haha
should i go for easter celebration this saturday... i think i should be a good girl and stay at home... =p please praise me for being a good girl...
haha
miss nanhua...cause i didnt go back today...sorry...really too tired... guilty... like pang seh keelui like that... next time bah...
thanks to those who tried to talk me out of that sad mood of mine yesterday... haha... thank you for the song!!! C=
~*smile*~
~*it is not that bad afterall*~
~* C= *~
`i noe e same ting is bgining`sori`i m tryin2control
~* argh *~
~*tired*~
i dont know why i so tired today... felt like i am going to fall sick anytime...but anyway.. i am still alive... tomorrow is such a stupi long day can...but anyway.. haha.. is the last day of the week so i dont care... haha...
i know i am just too tired to think.. i think like that also better la... so tired that the moment i board the bus, i sleep... haha...
no time to think... tonight... i think i have like tonnes to do... so... thats all that i am going to write here before i disappear...
see the happy me on SUNDAY!!! haha...
sunday seems like the best day of the week although i have to see some people that i dont really wish t see...but it is still a happy day...all the stupid things that we can do there...haha...
the most important thing is i can sleep in till a later time!!! PIG... haha...whatever...
i didnt sleep during math and biology lecture today!!! ok... i dozed off for about one minute during biology but i didnt miss anything...
at the end of the lectures, i praise myself k? cause if i sleep during biology lecture i would have missed a hell lot of things... all empty...the lecturer say she loses one side of her contact lens so she didnt realise that her notes are so empty and so different from her slides... some serious copying...haha... going to reorganise the notes later...
maths lecture... the lecturer so super slow... we have 2 lecturer alternating... lucky today isthe male teacher... argh... dont know why he sound so happy when it comes to math...and dont know why the other lecturer, who is also my subject teacher, sound so sad when she talks about math... she seems to be singing a lullaby when she is lecturing... oops... haha
should i go for easter celebration this saturday... i think i should be a good girl and stay at home... =p please praise me for being a good girl...
haha
miss nanhua...cause i didnt go back today...sorry...really too tired... guilty... like pang seh keelui like that... next time bah...
thanks to those who tried to talk me out of that sad mood of mine yesterday... haha... thank you for the song!!! C=
~*smile*~
~*it is not that bad afterall*~
~* C= *~
`i noe e same ting is bgining`sori`i m tryin2control
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
.::that is my life::.
~*everyday just come and go*~
~*maybe i am not that sad afterall*~
~*i think i am just not busy enough*~
if only i am more busy, i would not have all those free time to think about things...and i would not be so sad... if i am more busy...i would not have more time to visit places that will bring sad things into my mind... if i am more busy things will just be alot better...
all the ifs... all the maybes... all the i wishs... all the i hopes... all the crap...
nothing is real... or at least... nothing is real or true for me...
down is the direction that everything is going towards... a direction that no one hopes to see... but still who can put everything to a stop?
hope that he really can help... all his plans... i never know... i only have fear... fear that i will stand in the way.. maybe i should really have move on...
maybe i should just leave when i am having only happy memories... dont want anything sad to come with me...
maybe... maybe... so many maybe... maybe i should just shut up...
life is like that... i felt as though i am slapping myself all the times... contradiction after contradictions... maybe one day they will just cancel each other out... and i will be true to myself one day...
the decision may seem easy...but it is not that easy afterall...
when will i learn to be truthful? i dont know... god knows... ya right...
i told myself... i made the decision...move on... but what did i do in the end? i am still stuck here... how sad or how much worse can things get... failure...
i am still here... struggling... ya... that is me...
i am still the strong me... i still have to smile... cause i know i cant cry... nothing comes out... and it dont really help...
blue is for sad... what other colours are present here?
~*smiles*~
~*maybe things are not that bad afterall*~
~*i am trying to change*~
~*did you notice?*~
`decided`iz oli whether i can do wad i decides on`i will try
~*maybe i am not that sad afterall*~
~*i think i am just not busy enough*~
if only i am more busy, i would not have all those free time to think about things...and i would not be so sad... if i am more busy...i would not have more time to visit places that will bring sad things into my mind... if i am more busy things will just be alot better...
all the ifs... all the maybes... all the i wishs... all the i hopes... all the crap...
nothing is real... or at least... nothing is real or true for me...
down is the direction that everything is going towards... a direction that no one hopes to see... but still who can put everything to a stop?
hope that he really can help... all his plans... i never know... i only have fear... fear that i will stand in the way.. maybe i should really have move on...
maybe i should just leave when i am having only happy memories... dont want anything sad to come with me...
maybe... maybe... so many maybe... maybe i should just shut up...
life is like that... i felt as though i am slapping myself all the times... contradiction after contradictions... maybe one day they will just cancel each other out... and i will be true to myself one day...
the decision may seem easy...but it is not that easy afterall...
when will i learn to be truthful? i dont know... god knows... ya right...
i told myself... i made the decision...move on... but what did i do in the end? i am still stuck here... how sad or how much worse can things get... failure...
i am still here... struggling... ya... that is me...
i am still the strong me... i still have to smile... cause i know i cant cry... nothing comes out... and it dont really help...
blue is for sad... what other colours are present here?
~*smiles*~
~*maybe things are not that bad afterall*~
~*i am trying to change*~
~*did you notice?*~
`decided`iz oli whether i can do wad i decides on`i will try
Monday, April 10, 2006
.::talk more about me and what i really think::.
~*thats me*~
~*a leo*~
~*a cancer*~
~*a cusp*~
ya...thats me.. even i am confused with my personality...dont laugh at me for stuffing so much information up my brain...but they are just true...
but something i dont understand... seems to me i have only the negative personality of these signs...
a cusp is someone born in the period when the old sign is slowly being relaced by the new sign... so...since i am born between the changing of leo and cancer, i am a cusp... you will get characteristics of both... so i will be reading 2 horoscope each time when i try to look at horoscopes...
it i s not really nice... cause it makes me all confused... i just dont seem to have any positive signs with regards to the 2 signs...
and worse still...those 2 signs are just so different... maybe there are similarities somewhere...
leo is a fire sign, cancer is water.
leo is ruled by the sun, cancer is ruled by the moon.
ok i think those 2 are obvious differences le...
i went to read through all the characterisitics... and i realise that i am just a cancer who choose not to control my emotions...
When Cancer does not attempt to control the personality then everyone around is in trouble as the negative Cancer is not a pleasant person to know. Negative Cancer becomes sulky when the desires are not met; the tendency is that the world owes them something and they will collect from everyone around, if this Cancer is denied, then that person will be dropped from his or her life, even if it is close family members.
you must learn to forgive and forget in order to ward off the dark depressions you find yourself falling into. In any case, you are the most emotional of all the signs and must learn to deal with them
Holds fast then lets go without a reason?
yea...that is so me... so what else can i say?thats what is about cancer... lets move on to leo...
they also have a great fear of being ridiculed and made to feel disgraced.
The lions love and adore children as they bring out the inner child. Leos are surprisingly sensitive and easily hurt, but they do have a tendency to dominate and this should never be underestimated.
They can be too status conscious, causing themselves much anguish when, or if, they cannot keep up with others in their immediate circle.
that is what is about leo... so lets move on to cancer and leo
Cancer/Leos are the first to express emotion in any given situation -- the first to laugh and the first to tears
your thinking is based more on feelings, intuition, personal experiences, and prejudices rather than reason or logic.
ya...that is all about me... i seem to only have the bad traits.. but i am still trying to learn...
maybe it is time for leo the leader to learn how to control the emotions of the cancer... someone who uses senses more than she uses her mind...
no logic and no reason... just feelings...that is just so me...
if you all are reading this... i just hope that you know the real me...
if you are reading this... here is something that no longer knows how to say... i am feeling so guilty... i am like a burden to you...maybe i should be the one getting out of your life... late night online conversations and all those talking... it just let me feel like i am disturbing you... dont ask me why i have that feeling...i just sense so... hmmm... maybe i am thinking too much?
~*ya... that is me*~
~*the evil me*~
~*the irritating me*~
~*the bad me*~
~*the silly me*~
~*and i know...*~
~*one day...*~
~*the happy me!*~
~* C= *~
`sori is e oli ting tt i try2say`sori4being a burden
~*a leo*~
~*a cancer*~
~*a cusp*~
ya...thats me.. even i am confused with my personality...dont laugh at me for stuffing so much information up my brain...but they are just true...
but something i dont understand... seems to me i have only the negative personality of these signs...
a cusp is someone born in the period when the old sign is slowly being relaced by the new sign... so...since i am born between the changing of leo and cancer, i am a cusp... you will get characteristics of both... so i will be reading 2 horoscope each time when i try to look at horoscopes...
it i s not really nice... cause it makes me all confused... i just dont seem to have any positive signs with regards to the 2 signs...
and worse still...those 2 signs are just so different... maybe there are similarities somewhere...
leo is a fire sign, cancer is water.
leo is ruled by the sun, cancer is ruled by the moon.
ok i think those 2 are obvious differences le...
i went to read through all the characterisitics... and i realise that i am just a cancer who choose not to control my emotions...
When Cancer does not attempt to control the personality then everyone around is in trouble as the negative Cancer is not a pleasant person to know. Negative Cancer becomes sulky when the desires are not met; the tendency is that the world owes them something and they will collect from everyone around, if this Cancer is denied, then that person will be dropped from his or her life, even if it is close family members.
you must learn to forgive and forget in order to ward off the dark depressions you find yourself falling into. In any case, you are the most emotional of all the signs and must learn to deal with them
Holds fast then lets go without a reason?
yea...that is so me... so what else can i say?thats what is about cancer... lets move on to leo...
they also have a great fear of being ridiculed and made to feel disgraced.
The lions love and adore children as they bring out the inner child. Leos are surprisingly sensitive and easily hurt, but they do have a tendency to dominate and this should never be underestimated.
They can be too status conscious, causing themselves much anguish when, or if, they cannot keep up with others in their immediate circle.
that is what is about leo... so lets move on to cancer and leo
Cancer/Leos are the first to express emotion in any given situation -- the first to laugh and the first to tears
your thinking is based more on feelings, intuition, personal experiences, and prejudices rather than reason or logic.
ya...that is all about me... i seem to only have the bad traits.. but i am still trying to learn...
maybe it is time for leo the leader to learn how to control the emotions of the cancer... someone who uses senses more than she uses her mind...
no logic and no reason... just feelings...that is just so me...
if you all are reading this... i just hope that you know the real me...
if you are reading this... here is something that no longer knows how to say... i am feeling so guilty... i am like a burden to you...maybe i should be the one getting out of your life... late night online conversations and all those talking... it just let me feel like i am disturbing you... dont ask me why i have that feeling...i just sense so... hmmm... maybe i am thinking too much?
~*ya... that is me*~
~*the evil me*~
~*the irritating me*~
~*the bad me*~
~*the silly me*~
~*and i know...*~
~*one day...*~
~*the happy me!*~
~* C= *~
`sori is e oli ting tt i try2say`sori4being a burden
.::do you wish that i will be happier?::.
~*i wish i wish i wish*~
~*things on the wish list are useless*~
~*cause they never come true*~
mood swing or whatever that you call it... i dont know... i only know that i am gettting to be a better girl recently...stuning my friends with all the completed tutorials... all the point form for all he essay... all homework on time... but what i get in return?
i am alone... in school...nothing to do... maybe i should be back to the old me... copy homework in school... at least i would not have time to think...
i will have more time to rest and slack at home... i will be able to feel better...
i will not have time to sleep in school... and i will not get this bloated feeling from the short naps...
the bloatyness is killing me... how i wish i can take a pin and poke my stomach...let out all the wind stuck in my digestive system... argh...
i wish i wish i wish again... if i can do it, i will not be wishing away...
life is just like that... sometimes it is just better to not wish so much...
how i wish that things can change now.. how i wish i can go back to the past.. maybe i should not have really cared so much... i think i will be happier that way...
what a life..
what a wish i am having now...i want to shock the world with improvement in results... maybe not 3 As but at least one... in A level... thats is the shock that i want to give everyone...that is the miracle that i wish to create...
see...i wish i wish i wish again... as if it will happen that easily...
why do people get over sensitive at times?or rather... why do i get over sensitive at times...? maybe we should all just be trained to think logically and not let our heart guide the way...
confirmation...thats what everyone needs... thats what everyone wish to get...
it is just not good to be oversensitive or to think too much about what will be happening in the future... cause when things dont happen, you get sad... maybe it is time to not consider so much... i wish that things will be better in the near future.. but things are just not within my control...what can i do? i can only pray that they leave sooon... maybe things will be better in control then...
i think it will be... or rather i wish it will be...
life is just like that... always wishing for something to happen... i wish...
maybe it is time to disappear and only then will people realise how much they treasure you... but what will i gain and what will i lose? is it worth the risk? i dont know... i dont dare to try.. i know i dont dare... cause i am always there... i am still there...
~*i wish to be happier one day*~
~*i wish i wish i wish*~
`y r tings still lidat?
~*things on the wish list are useless*~
~*cause they never come true*~
mood swing or whatever that you call it... i dont know... i only know that i am gettting to be a better girl recently...stuning my friends with all the completed tutorials... all the point form for all he essay... all homework on time... but what i get in return?
i am alone... in school...nothing to do... maybe i should be back to the old me... copy homework in school... at least i would not have time to think...
i will have more time to rest and slack at home... i will be able to feel better...
i will not have time to sleep in school... and i will not get this bloated feeling from the short naps...
the bloatyness is killing me... how i wish i can take a pin and poke my stomach...let out all the wind stuck in my digestive system... argh...
i wish i wish i wish again... if i can do it, i will not be wishing away...
life is just like that... sometimes it is just better to not wish so much...
how i wish that things can change now.. how i wish i can go back to the past.. maybe i should not have really cared so much... i think i will be happier that way...
what a life..
what a wish i am having now...i want to shock the world with improvement in results... maybe not 3 As but at least one... in A level... thats is the shock that i want to give everyone...that is the miracle that i wish to create...
see...i wish i wish i wish again... as if it will happen that easily...
why do people get over sensitive at times?or rather... why do i get over sensitive at times...? maybe we should all just be trained to think logically and not let our heart guide the way...
confirmation...thats what everyone needs... thats what everyone wish to get...
it is just not good to be oversensitive or to think too much about what will be happening in the future... cause when things dont happen, you get sad... maybe it is time to not consider so much... i wish that things will be better in the near future.. but things are just not within my control...what can i do? i can only pray that they leave sooon... maybe things will be better in control then...
i think it will be... or rather i wish it will be...
life is just like that... always wishing for something to happen... i wish...
maybe it is time to disappear and only then will people realise how much they treasure you... but what will i gain and what will i lose? is it worth the risk? i dont know... i dont dare to try.. i know i dont dare... cause i am always there... i am still there...
~*i wish to be happier one day*~
~*i wish i wish i wish*~
`y r tings still lidat?
Sunday, April 09, 2006
.::if only i can predict the future::.
~*if only i can predict the future*~
~*maybe i would not have raise my hand*~
~*dont raise my hand on that faithful day*~
maybe if i didnt raise my hand on that faithful day, life now will be more happy... or rather, not that much high and low... maybe i will be happier...
happier as in not that much things to consider... i am starting to doubt my ability... no longer sure what i can do and what i cant... no longer sure what is real and what is not... and no longer sure who is the real ones and who are just plain fakers...
i am al confused...not even sure whether i amconfused or not...or am i just plain avoiding? i dont know... maybe i will be much much more happier if i never belong to that family.. if i never raise my hand... or maybe i lie low all those days... maybe i would not even be here...
but i cant deny... my memories...all thanks to them.. how will my days be like without them...
i am starting to not know what is true and what is not.. i think the worst thing of all is that i cant cry... not as in i cannot cry... but i just have not reach the point... maybe crying will help..
i am also not sure what is happening..why i am like that.. what exactly i am thinking about... ok... or maybe i choose not to think... i dont want the definite answer to my troubles... cause i think i know i will be more sad after that...
maybe sometimes it is easier to just laugh... but please.. i hate the world for leaving me alone... or rather i hate myself for having to be alone at times... i dont like being hyper then alone.. cause you know that you will try to find another happy thing to make yourself happy when you cant find any... or rather...things will just come in and occupy my tiny brain...
ya...tiny brain... then you cant handle them and you will be sad again...
i think i will be ok tomorrow.. i hope i will...
i have to be... i have to be ok...
~*there are just somethings that you never know*~
~*somethings that if you know will happen...*~
~*you will never go and try*~
~*i want to predict the future*~
~*i know there will be a smile on my face tomorrow*~
`i haf2smile`ttz e oli ting i can do`mayb u dunno`bt i m nt ok
~*maybe i would not have raise my hand*~
~*dont raise my hand on that faithful day*~
maybe if i didnt raise my hand on that faithful day, life now will be more happy... or rather, not that much high and low... maybe i will be happier...
happier as in not that much things to consider... i am starting to doubt my ability... no longer sure what i can do and what i cant... no longer sure what is real and what is not... and no longer sure who is the real ones and who are just plain fakers...
i am al confused...not even sure whether i amconfused or not...or am i just plain avoiding? i dont know... maybe i will be much much more happier if i never belong to that family.. if i never raise my hand... or maybe i lie low all those days... maybe i would not even be here...
but i cant deny... my memories...all thanks to them.. how will my days be like without them...
i am starting to not know what is true and what is not.. i think the worst thing of all is that i cant cry... not as in i cannot cry... but i just have not reach the point... maybe crying will help..
i am also not sure what is happening..why i am like that.. what exactly i am thinking about... ok... or maybe i choose not to think... i dont want the definite answer to my troubles... cause i think i know i will be more sad after that...
maybe sometimes it is easier to just laugh... but please.. i hate the world for leaving me alone... or rather i hate myself for having to be alone at times... i dont like being hyper then alone.. cause you know that you will try to find another happy thing to make yourself happy when you cant find any... or rather...things will just come in and occupy my tiny brain...
ya...tiny brain... then you cant handle them and you will be sad again...
i think i will be ok tomorrow.. i hope i will...
i have to be... i have to be ok...
~*there are just somethings that you never know*~
~*somethings that if you know will happen...*~
~*you will never go and try*~
~*i want to predict the future*~
~*i know there will be a smile on my face tomorrow*~
`i haf2smile`ttz e oli ting i can do`mayb u dunno`bt i m nt ok
Saturday, April 08, 2006
.::the wait the dance::.
~*the wait*~
~*we are all born to wait*~
~*end of the year*~
~*that is one end*~
my left eye twitches like everyday?! erh... i am quite tired of it lah...how to make them stop twitching? hmmm...maybe i am just too tired...haha... but it is still quite heartening to know that your left eye twitched...
ok...when will end of the year come? hmmm... dance dance and dance...
we are all born to wait... wait for death to come the moment we are born... god knows when we will leave the world?
maybe it is time to put only happy things in your mind... and for some of your out there to go and have an aim or something... maybe something like world peace or something...
hmm...lost track of what i am trying to say... and please others out there, please update your blogs!!! especially the guys!!! haha... example... that dont know what hann and dont know what bin... and that so called god almighty... maybe he is too afraid to see his computer... oh...i forgot... his computer gave up on him... maybe one day his new handphone will also do that... because there is just too much of HIM in them that makes them feel like spoiling... hmmm...anyway... not really funny here...
argh... cannot stay till that late at night anymore... there goes... hmm... or maybe... it is just the time that is not right?haha...
he didnt shout at me...or rather i think he dont even care anymore...
ok...that was too random...
anyway... i forgot what i want to type...
oh...my son birthday coming!!! good friday got buffet!!!
hmmm...what else? quite sianx lah... i know...haha...
ok...message of the day... the jelly is almond flavour!!! random...
how to really dance on and move on when you dont know what will things be like in the end? will things still be the same? the same like before? the same feeling? you never know... i am not sad... i am just worry...
~*stay happy*~
~*dance on*~
~*happy smile dance*~
`thank u`wad a part in my life
~*we are all born to wait*~
~*end of the year*~
~*that is one end*~
my left eye twitches like everyday?! erh... i am quite tired of it lah...how to make them stop twitching? hmmm...maybe i am just too tired...haha... but it is still quite heartening to know that your left eye twitched...
ok...when will end of the year come? hmmm... dance dance and dance...
we are all born to wait... wait for death to come the moment we are born... god knows when we will leave the world?
maybe it is time to put only happy things in your mind... and for some of your out there to go and have an aim or something... maybe something like world peace or something...
hmm...lost track of what i am trying to say... and please others out there, please update your blogs!!! especially the guys!!! haha... example... that dont know what hann and dont know what bin... and that so called god almighty... maybe he is too afraid to see his computer... oh...i forgot... his computer gave up on him... maybe one day his new handphone will also do that... because there is just too much of HIM in them that makes them feel like spoiling... hmmm...anyway... not really funny here...
argh... cannot stay till that late at night anymore... there goes... hmm... or maybe... it is just the time that is not right?haha...
he didnt shout at me...or rather i think he dont even care anymore...
ok...that was too random...
anyway... i forgot what i want to type...
oh...my son birthday coming!!! good friday got buffet!!!
hmmm...what else? quite sianx lah... i know...haha...
ok...message of the day... the jelly is almond flavour!!! random...
how to really dance on and move on when you dont know what will things be like in the end? will things still be the same? the same like before? the same feeling? you never know... i am not sad... i am just worry...
~*stay happy*~
~*dance on*~
~*happy smile dance*~
`thank u`wad a part in my life
Friday, April 07, 2006
.::i feel like i am losing it AGAIN::.
~*what is the good thing?*~
~*what are the bad things?*~
confused la... recently...hmmm... not really alot of things...but stupid koonhui... really idiot... why bring up that topic... the impact was not that great anymore...but the impact is still there...
ok...fine...something sad coming in again... i planned to write a happy entry today morning one k... oh my...
it is Ester week...and how much sadder can i get? ok la... not really sad...
why must you remind me that things are changing? PA no longer have that many people... the Nan Hua feeling... no longer anymore regular visit back to nanhua... i have trouble handling those friendships...they are still on the rock... what a failure huh...
i was shocked when he said that he would not be going back to PA... i used to think about how will things be like if he go... come to think of it... maybe they go, things will be better... aiyo... contradiction... i still dont know...
but i still dont understand what makes him hold on to things so tightly this time round... it is so not like him...anyway...hope he will be happy...
maybe completing A level is not really the aim... the aim is to get studies over and done with and i can go back to NHDS...
no more regular visits... thats quite saddening....
anyway... the happy things... thanks to those who roared to welcome me when i go back huh... very happy...hmmm... maybe some disappearing tricks will help at times?...oopx... haha...
laugh and laugh... thats the only things now bah...not considering the fact that i still have to handle those problems at the end of the year...
maybe i should not have stepped into their life at all also... maybe i should not have allow them to step into mine... how many times have i cried? countless.. i lost count le...
tired...dont know what to write le lah...
anyway...why must there be conflict between countries huh? so many homework because of that!!!
random...
announcement... my friend is ok le... i think she is... going to work as usual...so should be ok le la...
hmm...actually quite alot of things to talk about..just that i am too tired... argh... my whole mind is still filled with insulin and glucose... all from the biology essay that i did just now...still got a dozen not done...
what is the thing that is suppose to come but not here?hmmm...next week... parent meet teacher...god knows what he will tell my mama this time round...
bad news of the day... jeremy had a twisted ankle... oh my...
this year really not that smooth sailing after all... it is not smooth sailing at all~~~!!!
first time in my life...bird shit drop on me... or should i be happy that it i didnt fall into my food?
first time in my life... i slipped in my house toilet... a place that i go in more than once a day...for all my 17 years... argh... or should i be happy that i didnt injure badly at all?
first time in my life... i fail everything... or should i be happy that the school is not kicking me out?
aiyo... dunno happy or sad la... so many things...
jelly day tomorrow... make jellies~!!
oh before your click on the [X] on the top right hand corner, please click on that google ad at the top right hand corner of the page... let me earn some money... and i dont mindhaving more [hugz] at the bottom left hand corner...
~*smile*~
~*time pass faster*~
~*day pass faster*~
~*with that smile on your face*~
~* C= *~
~*what are the bad things?*~
confused la... recently...hmmm... not really alot of things...but stupid koonhui... really idiot... why bring up that topic... the impact was not that great anymore...but the impact is still there...
ok...fine...something sad coming in again... i planned to write a happy entry today morning one k... oh my...
it is Ester week...and how much sadder can i get? ok la... not really sad...
why must you remind me that things are changing? PA no longer have that many people... the Nan Hua feeling... no longer anymore regular visit back to nanhua... i have trouble handling those friendships...they are still on the rock... what a failure huh...
i was shocked when he said that he would not be going back to PA... i used to think about how will things be like if he go... come to think of it... maybe they go, things will be better... aiyo... contradiction... i still dont know...
but i still dont understand what makes him hold on to things so tightly this time round... it is so not like him...anyway...hope he will be happy...
maybe completing A level is not really the aim... the aim is to get studies over and done with and i can go back to NHDS...
no more regular visits... thats quite saddening....
anyway... the happy things... thanks to those who roared to welcome me when i go back huh... very happy...hmmm... maybe some disappearing tricks will help at times?...oopx... haha...
laugh and laugh... thats the only things now bah...not considering the fact that i still have to handle those problems at the end of the year...
maybe i should not have stepped into their life at all also... maybe i should not have allow them to step into mine... how many times have i cried? countless.. i lost count le...
tired...dont know what to write le lah...
anyway...why must there be conflict between countries huh? so many homework because of that!!!
random...
announcement... my friend is ok le... i think she is... going to work as usual...so should be ok le la...
hmm...actually quite alot of things to talk about..just that i am too tired... argh... my whole mind is still filled with insulin and glucose... all from the biology essay that i did just now...still got a dozen not done...
what is the thing that is suppose to come but not here?hmmm...next week... parent meet teacher...god knows what he will tell my mama this time round...
bad news of the day... jeremy had a twisted ankle... oh my...
this year really not that smooth sailing after all... it is not smooth sailing at all~~~!!!
first time in my life...bird shit drop on me... or should i be happy that it i didnt fall into my food?
first time in my life... i slipped in my house toilet... a place that i go in more than once a day...for all my 17 years... argh... or should i be happy that i didnt injure badly at all?
first time in my life... i fail everything... or should i be happy that the school is not kicking me out?
aiyo... dunno happy or sad la... so many things...
jelly day tomorrow... make jellies~!!
oh before your click on the [X] on the top right hand corner, please click on that google ad at the top right hand corner of the page... let me earn some money... and i dont mindhaving more [hugz] at the bottom left hand corner...
~*smile*~
~*time pass faster*~
~*day pass faster*~
~*with that smile on your face*~
~* C= *~
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
.::i am happy::.
~*feel happier recently*~
~*it is another time to add some happy things to my blog*~
~*whee~~*~
~* C= *~
ok...so many talking...not really happy about it...but still... hmmm...let nature take its course...
i am like waiting for somethings to come like that... i also dont have idea what it is...
i think that something is there but i am not sure whether there is...
mass hinting time... whao~~ ...hmmm... quite sian though... i nothing to say...
haha... things will get better soon...
hmm...left eye keep twitching recently... haha... aiyo... good things are going to happen...haha... i know...
sometimes one will be happier when you dont think too much and dont sense too much...
ya... you better dont activate your senses... but i think you did... but... haix... dont deny... dont avoid... cause denying cant avoid... avoiding cant deny...
hmmm...i am talking some crap here...
message of the day... i am happy recently la... i hope your are happy too...
since when has night time becomes the happier time of the day?
oh...the whole day is happy day...~!
haha...
jiayou~!
~*stay happy*~
~*smile*~
`u chose nt to activate ur senses bt u cant deny`u did`when will u b realli hapi?`i m waitin4msges!`C=
~*it is another time to add some happy things to my blog*~
~*whee~~*~
~* C= *~
ok...so many talking...not really happy about it...but still... hmmm...let nature take its course...
i am like waiting for somethings to come like that... i also dont have idea what it is...
i think that something is there but i am not sure whether there is...
mass hinting time... whao~~ ...hmmm... quite sian though... i nothing to say...
haha... things will get better soon...
hmm...left eye keep twitching recently... haha... aiyo... good things are going to happen...haha... i know...
sometimes one will be happier when you dont think too much and dont sense too much...
ya... you better dont activate your senses... but i think you did... but... haix... dont deny... dont avoid... cause denying cant avoid... avoiding cant deny...
hmmm...i am talking some crap here...
message of the day... i am happy recently la... i hope your are happy too...
since when has night time becomes the happier time of the day?
oh...the whole day is happy day...~!
haha...
jiayou~!
~*stay happy*~
~*smile*~
`u chose nt to activate ur senses bt u cant deny`u did`when will u b realli hapi?`i m waitin4msges!`C=
Monday, April 03, 2006
.::maybe it is time to run away::.
~*what is going on?*~
~*why let me see that look?*~
~*why let me feel something?*~
this is one big wrong move... i didnt expect it... ya...maybe it is not me...it is the other way round... why am i so certain that things are the way they are now when i know that somehow things are just not possible...
why must it be me first? can i still afford to wait? can i do what she tell me to? what will happen in the end?
who is the one?
如果你已经不能控制 每天想我一次
如果你因为我而诚实
如果你看我的电影 听我爱的CD
如果你能带我一起旅行
如果你决定跟随感觉 为爱勇敢一次
如果你说我们有彼此
如果你会开始相信 这段恋爱心情
如果你能给我如果的事
the above is a small part of a nice song...
maybe i will be happier soon...
~*smiles*~
~*it is easier to smile*~
~*than to frown*~
`so was it obvious?izit enuff?y let mi see tt look on ur face?in ur eyes?
~*why let me see that look?*~
~*why let me feel something?*~
this is one big wrong move... i didnt expect it... ya...maybe it is not me...it is the other way round... why am i so certain that things are the way they are now when i know that somehow things are just not possible...
why must it be me first? can i still afford to wait? can i do what she tell me to? what will happen in the end?
who is the one?
如果你已经不能控制 每天想我一次
如果你因为我而诚实
如果你看我的电影 听我爱的CD
如果你能带我一起旅行
如果你决定跟随感觉 为爱勇敢一次
如果你说我们有彼此
如果你会开始相信 这段恋爱心情
如果你能给我如果的事
the above is a small part of a nice song...
maybe i will be happier soon...
~*smiles*~
~*it is easier to smile*~
~*than to frown*~
`so was it obvious?izit enuff?y let mi see tt look on ur face?in ur eyes?
Sunday, April 02, 2006
.::lots of things::.
~*someone i know*~
~*she lose something*~
~*something that will never come back to her*~
she stays in her room... lies on her bad...wide awake...talking to no one about what had happened these few days...
the joy came and went off in just less than 2 weeks... how worse can things get?
the hope... the waiting all these months... finally something arrives... the gift of god... but she lose it... in less than a month time... she didnt even get to see how he or she looks like...
ya...one of my family friend just lost a child... a feotus...that is already considered alive, considered to have its own human rights...
she is someone who i have never see her sad before... i oli see smile on her face...maybe sometimes frowning when she is scolding her son... she is hardly sad...
a child made her turn out like that... i dont know how to help her...in fact no one does... her mother in law...sad... her son... sad... her husband... sad...
but of all people...only she is allow to cry... the others have to console her and bring her back to shore... yes...she will get into depression if things dont get better...
although i still disagree to what have happened, there is nothing that i can do...
no heartbeat of baby...that was the deduction made by two doctors... still i think that doctors should not suggest that she remove the baby... maybe a few more days will do the trick? but still doctors have their reason to why they hope that she will do that...
ever watched the Silent Scream? that is the worst video ever...maybe after watching that your will understand how bad my friend felt when she lose her child...
~*smile...*~
~*it makes your life different*~
~*it makes other life different too*~
`how to tell u iz actualli u?
~*she lose something*~
~*something that will never come back to her*~
she stays in her room... lies on her bad...wide awake...talking to no one about what had happened these few days...
the joy came and went off in just less than 2 weeks... how worse can things get?
the hope... the waiting all these months... finally something arrives... the gift of god... but she lose it... in less than a month time... she didnt even get to see how he or she looks like...
ya...one of my family friend just lost a child... a feotus...that is already considered alive, considered to have its own human rights...
she is someone who i have never see her sad before... i oli see smile on her face...maybe sometimes frowning when she is scolding her son... she is hardly sad...
a child made her turn out like that... i dont know how to help her...in fact no one does... her mother in law...sad... her son... sad... her husband... sad...
but of all people...only she is allow to cry... the others have to console her and bring her back to shore... yes...she will get into depression if things dont get better...
although i still disagree to what have happened, there is nothing that i can do...
no heartbeat of baby...that was the deduction made by two doctors... still i think that doctors should not suggest that she remove the baby... maybe a few more days will do the trick? but still doctors have their reason to why they hope that she will do that...
ever watched the Silent Scream? that is the worst video ever...maybe after watching that your will understand how bad my friend felt when she lose her child...
~*smile...*~
~*it makes your life different*~
~*it makes other life different too*~
`how to tell u iz actualli u?
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
.::i sensed::.
~*i sensed it*~
~*i really did*~
~*so?*~
~*why are you sad?*~
~*again*~
life is like that... i had a shocking news this morning... i failed my chemistry...but i am
not the last in class... i should be happy about that? i dont know... what if i am
expelled? i dont know... so many dont know in my life...
i dont know why i a doing certain things now... i dont even know what i am thinking and
what i am feeling now...
so what if i caught all those things that i am suppose to catch? how i hope that i didnt
catch them... or was i really thinking too much?
ARGH~~~! stop it...!
it is never my fault... it is yours... if you know who you are... how to tell you straight
in the face to shut up and settle your own problems first? i know i cant do that... i
wouldnt do that... will there be any chocolate milo marshmallow this sunday? see my mood...
i am always not asking the important questions... i keep forgetting to ask those important
questions... those that may just lead me somewhere... but it is all over...
come to think of it... it is not because of that thing that why i am not eating... maybe a
nap now will help...
why do guys flirt? why cant they settle things one by one?
ever tried losing a friend? i think so... ever tried losing a whole lot of friends? because
of someone... or rather... because of your stupid mouth...
this is the start... i am just trying to find out why i am sad... i need an answer... before
more comes along.. i dont want to go into depression... i think i wouldnt...
i thought i was ok... so... i am actually not...
why are there people who just dont give blogs any attention?
~*dont say love*~
~*you cant handle the responsiblity*~
`so r u glad tt i m fallin 4 u?bt y izit u?y is ur status lidat?
~*i really did*~
~*so?*~
~*why are you sad?*~
~*again*~
life is like that... i had a shocking news this morning... i failed my chemistry...but i am
not the last in class... i should be happy about that? i dont know... what if i am
expelled? i dont know... so many dont know in my life...
i dont know why i a doing certain things now... i dont even know what i am thinking and
what i am feeling now...
so what if i caught all those things that i am suppose to catch? how i hope that i didnt
catch them... or was i really thinking too much?
ARGH~~~! stop it...!
it is never my fault... it is yours... if you know who you are... how to tell you straight
in the face to shut up and settle your own problems first? i know i cant do that... i
wouldnt do that... will there be any chocolate milo marshmallow this sunday? see my mood...
i am always not asking the important questions... i keep forgetting to ask those important
questions... those that may just lead me somewhere... but it is all over...
come to think of it... it is not because of that thing that why i am not eating... maybe a
nap now will help...
why do guys flirt? why cant they settle things one by one?
ever tried losing a friend? i think so... ever tried losing a whole lot of friends? because
of someone... or rather... because of your stupid mouth...
this is the start... i am just trying to find out why i am sad... i need an answer... before
more comes along.. i dont want to go into depression... i think i wouldnt...
i thought i was ok... so... i am actually not...
why are there people who just dont give blogs any attention?
~*dont say love*~
~*you cant handle the responsiblity*~
`so r u glad tt i m fallin 4 u?bt y izit u?y is ur status lidat?
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
.::what time is it?::.
~*is this going to be another sad entry?*~
~*after so long?*~
~*am i really sad?*~
the time to write this entry is not right...it is not the time when i am usually the saddest... i should be the saddest around midnight... not now... or am i happy?
ok fine... i feel stupid... there are just so many things going on... things that i think i know...but i didnt choose to say... i mean... haix...
there are things that i am still trying to run away from... the more i try to say it out to prove that i felt the right thing, the more hope, the more the disappointment... and this should not be the emphasis now...
sometimes... maybe being blur and not knowing anything is a good thing... but i should be happy that i jumped out of one black, dark, deep and dirty hole... it didnt stay there for as long as i expected it to... maybe it is because of the fact that i am just so used to lossing...
who is the idiot who started that comparism?... fine...it is me... i didnt really planned it anyway... i mean it was not me right from the start...
maybe i am not that stupid after all... i didnt make any mistake even now...
i didnt say things that i should not say... i am safeguarding my own rights... that is what humans are like... selfish... i thought of myself first..
but why is it me? i dont know... i want the answer... can i accept what that is going to come?
blame it on my stupid sense... ya... the sense is stupid... that makes me stupid too...
if only i didnt sense, i didnt feel, nothing will have happen...
if only the one leading is not the heart but the brain...
it is so sad... i am just like that... how to sleep at night?
am i suppose to be happy or sad... i dont even know that now...
please laugh at me... or was i really really thinking too much and being a over sensitive freak...
do i deserve this?or was it really just a joke by heaven?
i felt different...
~*smile*~
~*cause you know you cant cry it out*~
~*nothing comes out from your eyes*~
~*anyway*~
~*who cares?*~
~*no one*~
i noe hu is she.i juz din say.is dis still a joke?can u tell mi wad is gng on?can dese end soon?
~*after so long?*~
~*am i really sad?*~
the time to write this entry is not right...it is not the time when i am usually the saddest... i should be the saddest around midnight... not now... or am i happy?
ok fine... i feel stupid... there are just so many things going on... things that i think i know...but i didnt choose to say... i mean... haix...
there are things that i am still trying to run away from... the more i try to say it out to prove that i felt the right thing, the more hope, the more the disappointment... and this should not be the emphasis now...
sometimes... maybe being blur and not knowing anything is a good thing... but i should be happy that i jumped out of one black, dark, deep and dirty hole... it didnt stay there for as long as i expected it to... maybe it is because of the fact that i am just so used to lossing...
who is the idiot who started that comparism?... fine...it is me... i didnt really planned it anyway... i mean it was not me right from the start...
maybe i am not that stupid after all... i didnt make any mistake even now...
i didnt say things that i should not say... i am safeguarding my own rights... that is what humans are like... selfish... i thought of myself first..
but why is it me? i dont know... i want the answer... can i accept what that is going to come?
blame it on my stupid sense... ya... the sense is stupid... that makes me stupid too...
if only i didnt sense, i didnt feel, nothing will have happen...
if only the one leading is not the heart but the brain...
it is so sad... i am just like that... how to sleep at night?
am i suppose to be happy or sad... i dont even know that now...
please laugh at me... or was i really really thinking too much and being a over sensitive freak...
do i deserve this?or was it really just a joke by heaven?
i felt different...
~*smile*~
~*cause you know you cant cry it out*~
~*nothing comes out from your eyes*~
~*anyway*~
~*who cares?*~
~*no one*~
i noe hu is she.i juz din say.is dis still a joke?can u tell mi wad is gng on?can dese end soon?
Monday, March 27, 2006
.::the love theory II::.
~*heres another part that i thought of*~
~*make sure you praise me after reading*~
life exist only because of love...
thats kind of lame...
how to differentiate between love and crush...hmmm...
i think ... when love comes, you cannot really tell the reason why you are falling for that person... but as for crush...there will be plenty of reasons why you like that person...
the reasons are there to convince you to make sure you fall for that person...
hmmm... dont really make much sense...
also, dont give the opposite gender any hope... that means... if you are not nterested in that person,dont treat that person too nicely...
life will be happy...when love find its way to you...
~*stay happy*~
`but guys never learn
~*make sure you praise me after reading*~
life exist only because of love...
thats kind of lame...
how to differentiate between love and crush...hmmm...
i think ... when love comes, you cannot really tell the reason why you are falling for that person... but as for crush...there will be plenty of reasons why you like that person...
the reasons are there to convince you to make sure you fall for that person...
hmmm... dont really make much sense...
also, dont give the opposite gender any hope... that means... if you are not nterested in that person,dont treat that person too nicely...
life will be happy...when love find its way to you...
~*stay happy*~
`but guys never learn
.::secrets lies beneathe those words::.
~*why cant everyone be happy?*~
~*if everyone is happy*~
~*no one will be sad*~
come to think of it...maybe it is good to put on an act when you are not happy... act that you are happy... only then, will you not bring unhappiness to the world...
if you are sad and you show it out... your closed friends will be sad... then their friends will also be sad... this continues on... haix... haha...
i mean, it is really true... so believe it or not.. a small tiny smile makes a big difference...
ok... there are just so many more things to add on to the love theory that i wrote in the previous entry... so i should write another one after this...
thats about it.. nothing much to write... those that i feel like writing down dont really belong here... hmmm... haha
~*thats all*~
~*just remember to smile*~
`why is the world turning?
~*if everyone is happy*~
~*no one will be sad*~
come to think of it...maybe it is good to put on an act when you are not happy... act that you are happy... only then, will you not bring unhappiness to the world...
if you are sad and you show it out... your closed friends will be sad... then their friends will also be sad... this continues on... haix... haha...
i mean, it is really true... so believe it or not.. a small tiny smile makes a big difference...
ok... there are just so many more things to add on to the love theory that i wrote in the previous entry... so i should write another one after this...
thats about it.. nothing much to write... those that i feel like writing down dont really belong here... hmmm... haha
~*thats all*~
~*just remember to smile*~
`why is the world turning?
.::heres the love theory::.
~*haha*~
~*someone praised me for this*~
haha... the theory to love and to stay happy... is...
If you have the choice, be with someone who love you and not someone who you love...
Let love find you, and try not to find love...
Learn to not hope, but just predict... without hope, there would not be disappointment...
i think i am so clever...haha...
that will make u stay happy... haha... although not for long...
cause there will be someone who will come along... and you will start falling for that person... and you will realise that it is no longer that easy to...
be with someone who love you and not someone who you love...
no longer that easy to...
let love find you, and not find love...
no longer that easy to...
Not to hope and just to predict...
expect disappointment...
haha
i should remove tat haha...
hmmm... love is like that i suppose...
~*stay happy*~
i oli need replies C=
~*someone praised me for this*~
haha... the theory to love and to stay happy... is...
If you have the choice, be with someone who love you and not someone who you love...
Let love find you, and try not to find love...
Learn to not hope, but just predict... without hope, there would not be disappointment...
i think i am so clever...haha...
that will make u stay happy... haha... although not for long...
cause there will be someone who will come along... and you will start falling for that person... and you will realise that it is no longer that easy to...
be with someone who love you and not someone who you love...
no longer that easy to...
let love find you, and not find love...
no longer that easy to...
Not to hope and just to predict...
expect disappointment...
haha
i should remove tat haha...
hmmm... love is like that i suppose...
~*stay happy*~
i oli need replies C=
Saturday, March 25, 2006
.::nothing to do!::.
~*haix...*~
~*sian...*~
nothing to do now...so decide to blog... maybe i will continue with my general paper compo later? hmm... still not sure whether need to go school on monday or not...haha...
anyway... sians... lin jun jie rocks...
~*thats the end to ths stupid and meanless entry*~
`thanks for the up and downs...
`i dont need them!!!
~*sian...*~
nothing to do now...so decide to blog... maybe i will continue with my general paper compo later? hmm... still not sure whether need to go school on monday or not...haha...
anyway... sians... lin jun jie rocks...
~*thats the end to ths stupid and meanless entry*~
`thanks for the up and downs...
`i dont need them!!!
Friday, March 24, 2006
.::i am here again::.
~*stupid me*~
~*clever you*~
anyway... got so bored... thats why i am here again... feeling something that is not right that is going to happen soon... haix...
why... why am i hoping for something again...when i know that they can never do it? i also dont know... thats why i am the stupid one...
but i know i am waiting again... stupid...
oh... what was i talking about huh? i dont remember.. haha.. .random... hee...
~*do you know what i want?*~
`i only need a reply
~*clever you*~
anyway... got so bored... thats why i am here again... feeling something that is not right that is going to happen soon... haix...
why... why am i hoping for something again...when i know that they can never do it? i also dont know... thats why i am the stupid one...
but i know i am waiting again... stupid...
oh... what was i talking about huh? i dont remember.. haha.. .random... hee...
~*do you know what i want?*~
`i only need a reply
.::i am alive::.
~*will i survive block test?*~
~*i dont know*~
~*i only know i tride my bestest*~
school system abit funny huh... expect someone who failed promotional exams to do super well in block test one when the others around her who did pass promotional exams are doing just as bad as she is...
anyway... i am just so not happy that she manage to move on... i mean i think i put in more effort than her... i think i can do better than her... i think she dont deserve what she is getting for her test...
she manage to get a whole lot of help and that let her move on... she managed to scrape pass the marks... i cant... just by one mark... which i cant find anywhere...
lets wait for the result... i know i am so not going to do well...there will be another struggle again... to stay or not to stay... but i know i die die want to move on... so jiayou~!!! i got a good civic tutor... he will help!!!
ok... today... last paper for block test... i decide to give myself a break and visit some people that i hardly find time to meet up... i met up with yong kee... the cute little boy that i had been spending time with ever since he is in his mam tummy... cute little fellow... he will be a clever or rather cheeky guy one day when he grow up... and he will sure attract a whole lot of girls...
haha... another baby is coming into the family... i mean my auntie's family... she is a family friend... she was our nanny when we were young... and now we are still close friends... i mean our family lah... haha... a nice woman... always knows what a child wants... she will let us arrange all our dolls along the corridor when we were young... we played with doughs... and she made a whole lot of new clothes... not for us... but our dolls... she let us bring dolls out for dinner... she let us buy a lot of sweets... she spend a lot of money on us... next time it will be my turn to dote on her grandchildren...
and she is also the one paying for my facial treatment... i mean that mask thing... she rocks...
anyway... met up with auntie and went to yongkee house... this little fellow having fever because growing teeth... played and after facing the computer for a long time and help his mother print 2331 pieces of envelope cover, i decide to take a nap... yongkee and his mama keep trying to wake me up... trying to find someone to entertain his son bah?
haha... there is this stupid wolf who said i sound like his mother!!! sobs...
heres a nice song:
It was amazing
It was on a rainy day that we met
Sorry i can't take it
And i'm just down
If you're down
And baby that'll be my one last vowam i suppose to hope? i dont know... am i suppose to be very happy about what is happening so far? i dont know...am i suppose to catch anything? i dont know...am i suppose to know or am i just ov sensitive? i dont know...am i suppose to be delighted for whatever that i got from you? i dont know...
~*i dont know*~
~*i only know i tride my bestest*~
school system abit funny huh... expect someone who failed promotional exams to do super well in block test one when the others around her who did pass promotional exams are doing just as bad as she is...
anyway... i am just so not happy that she manage to move on... i mean i think i put in more effort than her... i think i can do better than her... i think she dont deserve what she is getting for her test...
she manage to get a whole lot of help and that let her move on... she managed to scrape pass the marks... i cant... just by one mark... which i cant find anywhere...
lets wait for the result... i know i am so not going to do well...there will be another struggle again... to stay or not to stay... but i know i die die want to move on... so jiayou~!!! i got a good civic tutor... he will help!!!
ok... today... last paper for block test... i decide to give myself a break and visit some people that i hardly find time to meet up... i met up with yong kee... the cute little boy that i had been spending time with ever since he is in his mam tummy... cute little fellow... he will be a clever or rather cheeky guy one day when he grow up... and he will sure attract a whole lot of girls...
haha... another baby is coming into the family... i mean my auntie's family... she is a family friend... she was our nanny when we were young... and now we are still close friends... i mean our family lah... haha... a nice woman... always knows what a child wants... she will let us arrange all our dolls along the corridor when we were young... we played with doughs... and she made a whole lot of new clothes... not for us... but our dolls... she let us bring dolls out for dinner... she let us buy a lot of sweets... she spend a lot of money on us... next time it will be my turn to dote on her grandchildren...
and she is also the one paying for my facial treatment... i mean that mask thing... she rocks...
anyway... met up with auntie and went to yongkee house... this little fellow having fever because growing teeth... played and after facing the computer for a long time and help his mother print 2331 pieces of envelope cover, i decide to take a nap... yongkee and his mama keep trying to wake me up... trying to find someone to entertain his son bah?
haha... there is this stupid wolf who said i sound like his mother!!! sobs...
heres a nice song:
Down
Lin Jun Jie
I can't believe it
I can't believe it
Tell me i'm dreaming
That we are still 'we'
It was amazing
Said you were lucky
That you found me
It was on a rainy day that we met
You didn't have a place to go
I said we just met so lets go slow but no
You just told me to keep you from the cold
Sorry i can't take it
Why did you fake it
Why did we kiss
And i'm just down
You left me with a note without a sound
I figured i must have been such a child
You'll never know how much i've been around
How my heart just frowns
If you're down
I'll be your teddy bear, i'll be your clown
I'll take you round and round and
If you don't mind i could be your standing ground
Even if that means i'd drown
And baby that'll be my one last vow
what a nice sound
haas
`will you be my teddy bear?
`will you be my clown?
`will you be there?
i typed them word for word from the lyrics that came with the album...
hees...
~*did i say that tarot cards rocks?*~
~*i think it is obvious*~
~*did i say lin jun jie rocks too?*~
Thursday, March 23, 2006
.::i hope things are ending real soon::.
~*who started the comparism?*~
~*whos the bad guy?*~
i am starting to think or rather i seem to have come to a conclusion... someone will be very happy if things get to him or her...
i mean i think things should not be like the way they are now... not to say that i have a choice now... but looks like things will be better some other way round... i should put an end to things and not let that word appear here again...
i hope it is not some form of replacement or something... it is not something that i want...
but the comparism did show better things.. i mean they tell me what to do now... and also what i should not do...
the word is banned from here from now on... that very word...
~*i think i deserve more*~
~*if you have a choice*~
~*will you be with someone who loves you*~
~*or someone who you love?*~
~*random question here*~
`things will be ok in the end`
`if things are not ok`
`then it is not the end`
things will be ok real soon...as youu disappear... youu is the banned word
~*whos the bad guy?*~
i am starting to think or rather i seem to have come to a conclusion... someone will be very happy if things get to him or her...
i mean i think things should not be like the way they are now... not to say that i have a choice now... but looks like things will be better some other way round... i should put an end to things and not let that word appear here again...
i hope it is not some form of replacement or something... it is not something that i want...
but the comparism did show better things.. i mean they tell me what to do now... and also what i should not do...
the word is banned from here from now on... that very word...
~*i think i deserve more*~
~*if you have a choice*~
~*will you be with someone who loves you*~
~*or someone who you love?*~
~*random question here*~
`things will be ok in the end`
`if things are not ok`
`then it is not the end`
Friday, March 17, 2006
.::nice song::.
~*ok*~
~*i should not be here*~
~*but...*~
ok...my dad is going to china like tomorrow? no body going to send him off...but i think he dont mind as long as he still get to go china~!!
anyway... thank you for getting everything back... although i still feel abit out, things are still going on rather fine...we will be ok soon...
i suddenly realise that there are just some things that are just not worth it... there is no need to hold on to it... no need to be so persistent... no need to be so sad over it... no need to mind so much... no need to care so much... cause no one will be aware of what is just happening...
no one understand why things are just the way they are now... i also dont know... but one thing is for sure... i know how and why... i know and thats enough...
who will be a stupid and hold on to something that has thorns in your hand, grab it hard and make yourself bleed? i am still the stupid one currently... maybe it is time to stop and try to stop the bleed before i die from insufficient blood... or lack of oxygen or something...
here is a lyrics...
明天就像是盒子里的巧克力糖
什么滋味
充满想象
失望是偶尔拨不通的电话号码
多试几次总会回答
心里有好多的梦想
未来正要开始闪闪发亮
就算天再高那又怎样
踮起脚尖就更靠近阳光
许下我第一千零一个愿望(一个愿望)
有一天幸福总会听我的话(听我的话)
不怕要多少时间多少代价
青春是我的筹码
oh~~~
我只有这第一千零一个愿望(一个愿望)
有一天幸福总会在我手上(在我手上)
每一颗心都有一双翅膀
要勇往直前的飞翔
nice song here... or rather it is the only song that you can find in my handphone...
ok... fine... whatever... get what i am trying to say in the previous few paragraphs?
in smpler terms... i am learning to let go... let go something that most of your were never aware of... i mean... i should right? i think i deserve to get more?
haha... dont think too much... things will be ok when it should be...
i mean... things will be ok in the end... if it is not ok then it is not the end...
am i right?
haha
lame...
there are some lamers around me who will make me laugh... i know... haha..
~*i still hope for a chance*~
~*a chance for a change*~
~*an explanation*~
~*although i know...*~
~*they cant think well...*~
~*who will distort this message AGAIN?*~
it is hard to just say what is really happening when people cant think well... i mean... think... let someone who is capable of distorting message to tell you something...
i tried to explain... i know why things are the way they are now... i mean... someone is there... all i need now is a chance for me to explain... i am no longer sad... cause i know i can settle it... give me time... and chance... thats all i need...
~*i should not be here*~
~*but...*~
ok...my dad is going to china like tomorrow? no body going to send him off...but i think he dont mind as long as he still get to go china~!!
anyway... thank you for getting everything back... although i still feel abit out, things are still going on rather fine...we will be ok soon...
i suddenly realise that there are just some things that are just not worth it... there is no need to hold on to it... no need to be so persistent... no need to be so sad over it... no need to mind so much... no need to care so much... cause no one will be aware of what is just happening...
no one understand why things are just the way they are now... i also dont know... but one thing is for sure... i know how and why... i know and thats enough...
who will be a stupid and hold on to something that has thorns in your hand, grab it hard and make yourself bleed? i am still the stupid one currently... maybe it is time to stop and try to stop the bleed before i die from insufficient blood... or lack of oxygen or something...
here is a lyrics...
明天就像是盒子里的巧克力糖
什么滋味
充满想象
失望是偶尔拨不通的电话号码
多试几次总会回答
心里有好多的梦想
未来正要开始闪闪发亮
就算天再高那又怎样
踮起脚尖就更靠近阳光
许下我第一千零一个愿望(一个愿望)
有一天幸福总会听我的话(听我的话)
不怕要多少时间多少代价
青春是我的筹码
oh~~~
我只有这第一千零一个愿望(一个愿望)
有一天幸福总会在我手上(在我手上)
每一颗心都有一双翅膀
要勇往直前的飞翔
nice song here... or rather it is the only song that you can find in my handphone...
ok... fine... whatever... get what i am trying to say in the previous few paragraphs?
in smpler terms... i am learning to let go... let go something that most of your were never aware of... i mean... i should right? i think i deserve to get more?
haha... dont think too much... things will be ok when it should be...
i mean... things will be ok in the end... if it is not ok then it is not the end...
am i right?
haha
lame...
there are some lamers around me who will make me laugh... i know... haha..
~*i still hope for a chance*~
~*a chance for a change*~
~*an explanation*~
~*although i know...*~
~*they cant think well...*~
~*who will distort this message AGAIN?*~
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
.::i am back!!!::.
~*i am back from malaysia*~
haas...we didnt win anything...but i think the greatest reward was to see how political things really are outside...or maybe even in singapore...
ok...also get to see everyone... not everyone is perfect and not everyone is happy with whoever they are with all the time... and i know that that will never bother me for long anymore...cause i no longer belong there.. until after my A level...
anyway... i am still puzzled by a whole lot of things... feel honoured if i bought something for you... and the sad thing i bet is... i tried to wake up at 8 today to study but i woke up at 1... see the great difference?
i will study tomorrow... i mean i have to ah...
hows life for youu? i dont know... but i sense a whole lot of things... i think she felt the same too...just that we didnt choose to say anything... we no longer see te need to bring things out... cause talking about them do not help...
maybe it is time to change?
who is that idiot? get out ofmy life... now...
the one i hoped will reply is not doing what i hope he will... while the other who dont mean anything is doing what i hoped... what a big idiot...
the pants that i bought in malacca... i think it rocks... haha... sunday...
i swear i am on a diet... i have to be on one... i am too fat!!!
A & W rocks... we had 2 meals in malacca... finally had waffle for the first time in my life... i mean A&W waffle la... i have the urge to have one for breakfast tomorrow... that is just what i shall do...
here is something for you all to read... very true for my case ah... i am blood group A... haha...
BLOOD GROUP O
Cannot stand people who hide the truth
Make objectives clear
Possess great deal of confidence
Honest, optimistic and energetic
Strength and endurance depend on their aim
Give up easily if they find the job meaningless
Positive about the past, thus do not regret about the past
Seek financial stability for the future
Usually stable and calm
Sensitive towards sincerity
Give frank, direct opinions
Ability to concentrate vary from time to time, depending on aim
Mostly prefer to lead
Can overlook details
BLOOD GROUP A
Pessimistic and too sensitive
Careful about decision-making
Make things clear in black and white
Care too much about social rules and standards
High tolerance for physical or repetitive work
Cannot take changes easily
Lose interest in a hobby easily
Try hard to forget the past
Pessimistic about the future
Able to display cool outlook even though angry
Short-tempered
Take longer to heal a broken heart
Sensitive to others' opinions
Perfectionist
Handle one thing at a time
Work a line between work and personal affairs
Highly responsible
Tend to choose hobbies which help them release stress
BLOOD GROUP B
Cannot take orders easily
Make decisions fast
Can be flexible
Do not care about rules
Respect scientific and practical findings
Maintain the longest interest in what they do
Seem impatient
Dislike repetitious work
Hard to forget recent affairs, but able to forget past and memories
Expressive
Cool and objective
Although joke a lot, could actually be very shy
Change moods like the weather
Cannot stop complaining when they are upset
Creative and possess new ideas
Cannot differentiate between work and hobby
Cannot take orders
Do not hesitate to introduce innovative changes and are not worried about theirs criticisms
BLOOD GROUP AB
Romantic and sentimental
Extremely practical
Excellent in analyses
Give fair criticisms
Cannot decide when it comes to important issues
Try to be hard-working
Tend to be impatient
Sentimental about the past
More concern about the immediate problems than anything else
Sentimental
Usually cool and steady, but can get upset with an immediate, unsolved problem
Can get moody easily
Able to handle a wide scope of jobs
Value hard work
Quick in understanding
Not highly responsible and unable to follow-up on a project until its completion
Tend to be artistic in approach
cass and christ...take care of your legs huh... dont want can give me... i dont mind having more... take care of them when they are on you... haas...
~*youu still matters*~
~*the idiot leh*~
haas...we didnt win anything...but i think the greatest reward was to see how political things really are outside...or maybe even in singapore...
ok...also get to see everyone... not everyone is perfect and not everyone is happy with whoever they are with all the time... and i know that that will never bother me for long anymore...cause i no longer belong there.. until after my A level...
anyway... i am still puzzled by a whole lot of things... feel honoured if i bought something for you... and the sad thing i bet is... i tried to wake up at 8 today to study but i woke up at 1... see the great difference?
i will study tomorrow... i mean i have to ah...
hows life for youu? i dont know... but i sense a whole lot of things... i think she felt the same too...just that we didnt choose to say anything... we no longer see te need to bring things out... cause talking about them do not help...
maybe it is time to change?
who is that idiot? get out ofmy life... now...
the one i hoped will reply is not doing what i hope he will... while the other who dont mean anything is doing what i hoped... what a big idiot...
the pants that i bought in malacca... i think it rocks... haha... sunday...
i swear i am on a diet... i have to be on one... i am too fat!!!
A & W rocks... we had 2 meals in malacca... finally had waffle for the first time in my life... i mean A&W waffle la... i have the urge to have one for breakfast tomorrow... that is just what i shall do...
here is something for you all to read... very true for my case ah... i am blood group A... haha...
BLOOD GROUP O
Cannot stand people who hide the truth
Make objectives clear
Possess great deal of confidence
Honest, optimistic and energetic
Strength and endurance depend on their aim
Give up easily if they find the job meaningless
Positive about the past, thus do not regret about the past
Seek financial stability for the future
Usually stable and calm
Sensitive towards sincerity
Give frank, direct opinions
Ability to concentrate vary from time to time, depending on aim
Mostly prefer to lead
Can overlook details
BLOOD GROUP A
Pessimistic and too sensitive
Careful about decision-making
Make things clear in black and white
Care too much about social rules and standards
High tolerance for physical or repetitive work
Cannot take changes easily
Lose interest in a hobby easily
Try hard to forget the past
Pessimistic about the future
Able to display cool outlook even though angry
Short-tempered
Take longer to heal a broken heart
Sensitive to others' opinions
Perfectionist
Handle one thing at a time
Work a line between work and personal affairs
Highly responsible
Tend to choose hobbies which help them release stress
BLOOD GROUP B
Cannot take orders easily
Make decisions fast
Can be flexible
Do not care about rules
Respect scientific and practical findings
Maintain the longest interest in what they do
Seem impatient
Dislike repetitious work
Hard to forget recent affairs, but able to forget past and memories
Expressive
Cool and objective
Although joke a lot, could actually be very shy
Change moods like the weather
Cannot stop complaining when they are upset
Creative and possess new ideas
Cannot differentiate between work and hobby
Cannot take orders
Do not hesitate to introduce innovative changes and are not worried about theirs criticisms
BLOOD GROUP AB
Romantic and sentimental
Extremely practical
Excellent in analyses
Give fair criticisms
Cannot decide when it comes to important issues
Try to be hard-working
Tend to be impatient
Sentimental about the past
More concern about the immediate problems than anything else
Sentimental
Usually cool and steady, but can get upset with an immediate, unsolved problem
Can get moody easily
Able to handle a wide scope of jobs
Value hard work
Quick in understanding
Not highly responsible and unable to follow-up on a project until its completion
Tend to be artistic in approach
cass and christ...take care of your legs huh... dont want can give me... i dont mind having more... take care of them when they are on you... haas...
~*youu still matters*~
~*the idiot leh*~
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
.::someone please ask me whether i am happy::.
~*please*~
~*someone please ask me whether i am happy*~
~*please let me know that someone care*~
the one that i am hoping is not coming... but somethings that i expect are just coming along the way...
no one will be willing to accept that they are at fault... i am one of them... everyone is like that... just the extend of the case...
when was the last time you ask yourself whether you are happy with whatever that you are doing?
i bet that was a long time ago... cause you are happy with life...there is no need to ask... but i am always asking myself that... always... i am always wondering whether i am really happy... and always trying to dig in to find out whether i am truly happy or sad...
i no longer yearn for an answer... i no longer dare to think so much... i will always try to put an end to my thoughts... i dont want them to run wild... it ran wild just now... maybe even now... i am still feeling lost...
why do i always realise that i interfere too much only when i had done that something?
i dont know why i failed to control things that night although i know that something like that will happen one day...
i am so guilty...so guilty that i just shouted at my mother... so sorry that i am not doing my homework simply because i am not in the right mind state to do them...
when was the last time that i felt like that? cultural potpourri last year... someone gave me a painful stab... sorry... i want to forget...but the impact is just so great... ever felt so bad that you may forget how to walk any time? that bad... it feels like i may lose control over my legs anytime...
no longer sad... i am just disappointed? i am always asking myself whether i am doing the right thing... for every single thing that i do when i am alive on this world... all the time... dont ask me why... i want to know why...
there are just so many things that you have done, but you never want to voice and say them out... cause you dont want people to think that you hao lian... but i am just tired of doing things quietly... ya.. i never wanted returns... but i also never wanted bad returns...
although i know that things that will be coming out from his mouth will never be the same, and never be the truth...but still i choose to tell him... cause no one else choose to listen...
no one to blame...
ever tried standing in front of guys who are about to fight and try to stop them from fighting? what is the bet? the bet is me myself... and the bet is that the guy would not touch the girl... quite alot of times... all the lame reasons i find just to protect someone... although they still fought in the end...
all the things that you all are doing... i never know the reasons... i assumed all the reasons... so in the end i have to back you all up with all my assumed reasons...
maybe you didnt realise or dont want to admit... you all did forget him once... you all didnt realise... i was forgotten by you all also... everyone did... dont claim that you will never forget someone cause that is just never true...
dont know what i am blogging le... the one that i hope to call and feel like calling is not around... maybe my tears will help me... if i cry everything out tonight, everything will be ok tomorrow?
i am always thinking that way... tomorrow will be a better day...
~*do youu know?*~
~*someone please ask me whether i am happy*~
~*please let me know that someone care*~
the one that i am hoping is not coming... but somethings that i expect are just coming along the way...
no one will be willing to accept that they are at fault... i am one of them... everyone is like that... just the extend of the case...
when was the last time you ask yourself whether you are happy with whatever that you are doing?
i bet that was a long time ago... cause you are happy with life...there is no need to ask... but i am always asking myself that... always... i am always wondering whether i am really happy... and always trying to dig in to find out whether i am truly happy or sad...
i no longer yearn for an answer... i no longer dare to think so much... i will always try to put an end to my thoughts... i dont want them to run wild... it ran wild just now... maybe even now... i am still feeling lost...
why do i always realise that i interfere too much only when i had done that something?
i dont know why i failed to control things that night although i know that something like that will happen one day...
i am so guilty...so guilty that i just shouted at my mother... so sorry that i am not doing my homework simply because i am not in the right mind state to do them...
when was the last time that i felt like that? cultural potpourri last year... someone gave me a painful stab... sorry... i want to forget...but the impact is just so great... ever felt so bad that you may forget how to walk any time? that bad... it feels like i may lose control over my legs anytime...
no longer sad... i am just disappointed? i am always asking myself whether i am doing the right thing... for every single thing that i do when i am alive on this world... all the time... dont ask me why... i want to know why...
there are just so many things that you have done, but you never want to voice and say them out... cause you dont want people to think that you hao lian... but i am just tired of doing things quietly... ya.. i never wanted returns... but i also never wanted bad returns...
although i know that things that will be coming out from his mouth will never be the same, and never be the truth...but still i choose to tell him... cause no one else choose to listen...
no one to blame...
ever tried standing in front of guys who are about to fight and try to stop them from fighting? what is the bet? the bet is me myself... and the bet is that the guy would not touch the girl... quite alot of times... all the lame reasons i find just to protect someone... although they still fought in the end...
all the things that you all are doing... i never know the reasons... i assumed all the reasons... so in the end i have to back you all up with all my assumed reasons...
maybe you didnt realise or dont want to admit... you all did forget him once... you all didnt realise... i was forgotten by you all also... everyone did... dont claim that you will never forget someone cause that is just never true...
dont know what i am blogging le... the one that i hope to call and feel like calling is not around... maybe my tears will help me... if i cry everything out tonight, everything will be ok tomorrow?
i am always thinking that way... tomorrow will be a better day...
~*do youu know?*~
Monday, February 27, 2006
.::what are people thinking?::.
~*after so long*~
~*i am finally back to the same topic*~
ok... i am bringing myself back to the same topic, although i never wanted to...
i never wanted to think about it... although, like i say, i am used to it, i will never get very sad over this thing le... but i still think about it...
the thing is always there in my heart, it is just the matter with where it is... i mean, at times it is just at the bottom... but other time when i am alone, it just flash across my mind...
i mean... when it is at the bottom of my heart, i never wish to dig it out and think about it... i just need a few glimpse... never abit more than that... cause i know anything more than that the thing will be out...
i mean... but when that thing is out, a few glimpse is never enough anymore... i mean, i will keep thinking about a whole lot of stupid things about it and i will just keep thinking... but i swear i am not sad...
i am so going to change my wishlist...there are a whole lot of things that i want... haha... my birthday coming mah...so... it will be easier for you all to have a target and start saving money for my presents...but you all better go and have a meeting or something to decide who to get me what... haha... clever me...
ok...back to topic... actually most of the time... i just know what may happen next.. i mean i can tell and i can sense... i am extremely sensitive to these things... but i just still choose to act blur... i dont know what else to do... even if i keep thinking about the same thing, nothing much will change right? things will still be the same... i mean... still going to happen the way that he want?
anyway i shall go and change the wishlist and sleep for the sake of the total 3 hours lecture tomorrow morning...
still, thank you to all those who helped and counselled me all these days and months and weeks, especially daryl, zhongyi, da sam, yongxuan, weihong, connie, zhengyu and jeffrey. although i am still like that... it is my mind that cant accept that... i cant change, so... i mean i still cant accept that thinking...so... hmm... ya... i am still trying to change... maybe one day... i will become someone that no one likes me...
~*stay happy*~
~*youu*~
~*yes youu*~
~* C= *~
~*i am finally back to the same topic*~
ok... i am bringing myself back to the same topic, although i never wanted to...
i never wanted to think about it... although, like i say, i am used to it, i will never get very sad over this thing le... but i still think about it...
the thing is always there in my heart, it is just the matter with where it is... i mean, at times it is just at the bottom... but other time when i am alone, it just flash across my mind...
i mean... when it is at the bottom of my heart, i never wish to dig it out and think about it... i just need a few glimpse... never abit more than that... cause i know anything more than that the thing will be out...
i mean... but when that thing is out, a few glimpse is never enough anymore... i mean, i will keep thinking about a whole lot of stupid things about it and i will just keep thinking... but i swear i am not sad...
i am so going to change my wishlist...there are a whole lot of things that i want... haha... my birthday coming mah...so... it will be easier for you all to have a target and start saving money for my presents...but you all better go and have a meeting or something to decide who to get me what... haha... clever me...
ok...back to topic... actually most of the time... i just know what may happen next.. i mean i can tell and i can sense... i am extremely sensitive to these things... but i just still choose to act blur... i dont know what else to do... even if i keep thinking about the same thing, nothing much will change right? things will still be the same... i mean... still going to happen the way that he want?
anyway i shall go and change the wishlist and sleep for the sake of the total 3 hours lecture tomorrow morning...
still, thank you to all those who helped and counselled me all these days and months and weeks, especially daryl, zhongyi, da sam, yongxuan, weihong, connie, zhengyu and jeffrey. although i am still like that... it is my mind that cant accept that... i cant change, so... i mean i still cant accept that thinking...so... hmm... ya... i am still trying to change... maybe one day... i will become someone that no one likes me...
~*stay happy*~
~*youu*~
~*yes youu*~
~* C= *~
Sunday, February 26, 2006
.::finally::.
~*afew things that i intend to blog*~
~*today*~
~*them*~
~*youu*~
~*but my eyes are closing...*~
ok... i shall start with today first, or rather the past few days... haha... i am totally EXHAUSTED... not just one day and i dont think it is only me... thanks to people who put in an effort to help wih the drums... thanks a million...
special thanks to zhen yu, yongxuan, weihong, connie, xue zhen (shuat zhen), *i feel like putting that name down... ahhah... evil me*, daryl, da sam, zhongyi, and A WHOLE LOT more... i mean i dont feel like continuing on putting more names... i will flood this entry... so your know who you all are... so
heres a BIG THANK YOU to you all...
ok... thanks to all...
sorry that i flared up at the prata shop today... i just feel so BOTTLED up... things end le...but i dont know why i still like that... i just felt like crying at that time... and coke didnt cheer me up fast in time... although i gulp down one can in less than 10minutes... the coke came and i just kept drinking...
things sometimes just dont go the way it should be... sorry if things dont seem that neat... i mean i really dont know where to start planning when no matter where i start to plan, nothing seems right... so why make myself feel worse?
and i think one day i will let EVERYTHING OUT... i really mean EVERYTHING...
haha
await for that day to come...
and thanks to those who gave advice... i mean...although i never heed those advice... i know i should do all those... but i am still in the midst of convincing myself to listen... so... haha... things are better on my side... no longer that emotionally stubborn le hor...
ok...we shall now move on to youu... something short and nice... not replying dont help... i mean if not replying will help, it will have helped long long long long time ago... things will still be the same for quite long...
ok...them hor... i got my reasons... so... it is no longer just me la... it is a WHOLE LOT of people also... so start using your brain... hate me or something i also dont care le... i mean... for these things, i can no longer care...
you all still matters...but i have to think for the future... just hoping that you all will start to use that thing up there and think... if you all can understand, things will be a WHOLE LOT better... the world will be a nicer place to live in...
i am also tired of promises... so no more promises anymore...
ok... i am totally tired... drinking red bull and coke no longer help today... i mean... i drank one red bull and 2 coke...still so so so tired... so... no more... good nite!!!
~* C= *~
~*so will youu please reply?*~
~* C= *~
~*today*~
~*them*~
~*youu*~
~*but my eyes are closing...*~
ok... i shall start with today first, or rather the past few days... haha... i am totally EXHAUSTED... not just one day and i dont think it is only me... thanks to people who put in an effort to help wih the drums... thanks a million...
special thanks to zhen yu, yongxuan, weihong, connie, xue zhen (shuat zhen), *i feel like putting that name down... ahhah... evil me*, daryl, da sam, zhongyi, and A WHOLE LOT more... i mean i dont feel like continuing on putting more names... i will flood this entry... so your know who you all are... so
heres a BIG THANK YOU to you all...
ok... thanks to all...
sorry that i flared up at the prata shop today... i just feel so BOTTLED up... things end le...but i dont know why i still like that... i just felt like crying at that time... and coke didnt cheer me up fast in time... although i gulp down one can in less than 10minutes... the coke came and i just kept drinking...
things sometimes just dont go the way it should be... sorry if things dont seem that neat... i mean i really dont know where to start planning when no matter where i start to plan, nothing seems right... so why make myself feel worse?
and i think one day i will let EVERYTHING OUT... i really mean EVERYTHING...
haha
await for that day to come...
and thanks to those who gave advice... i mean...although i never heed those advice... i know i should do all those... but i am still in the midst of convincing myself to listen... so... haha... things are better on my side... no longer that emotionally stubborn le hor...
ok...we shall now move on to youu... something short and nice... not replying dont help... i mean if not replying will help, it will have helped long long long long time ago... things will still be the same for quite long...
ok...them hor... i got my reasons... so... it is no longer just me la... it is a WHOLE LOT of people also... so start using your brain... hate me or something i also dont care le... i mean... for these things, i can no longer care...
you all still matters...but i have to think for the future... just hoping that you all will start to use that thing up there and think... if you all can understand, things will be a WHOLE LOT better... the world will be a nicer place to live in...
i am also tired of promises... so no more promises anymore...
ok... i am totally tired... drinking red bull and coke no longer help today... i mean... i drank one red bull and 2 coke...still so so so tired... so... no more... good nite!!!
~* C= *~
~*so will youu please reply?*~
~* C= *~
Friday, February 24, 2006
.::life rocks::.
~*just a short a entry*~
ok... it shall be short and sweet... i should be off to bed soon...i mean i took my medicide...i should be sleeping now... i am sick... i missed quite alot of lesson because of this stupid fever,flu and cough...
anyway... i am just praying that things will get better these coming days...and please peoplel, trust me... i am starting to study... and after the trip to malaysia, there will be strictly no more unnecessary nanhua visits... and definitely no more NDP or whatever shit...
ok...that stupid thing, i hope it will end soon... things will be over soon...
as for youu, i heard youu asking for my blog address... i act blur..youu also...but whatever la... just be happy.. i know youu will be happy... i only need replies... thats all...
~*it is still youu*~
~* C= *~
~*how to let them know*~
~*youu mean no harm*~
ok... it shall be short and sweet... i should be off to bed soon...i mean i took my medicide...i should be sleeping now... i am sick... i missed quite alot of lesson because of this stupid fever,flu and cough...
anyway... i am just praying that things will get better these coming days...and please peoplel, trust me... i am starting to study... and after the trip to malaysia, there will be strictly no more unnecessary nanhua visits... and definitely no more NDP or whatever shit...
ok...that stupid thing, i hope it will end soon... things will be over soon...
as for youu, i heard youu asking for my blog address... i act blur..youu also...but whatever la... just be happy.. i know youu will be happy... i only need replies... thats all...
~*it is still youu*~
~* C= *~
~*how to let them know*~
~*youu mean no harm*~
Monday, February 20, 2006
.::things are coming to an end::.
~*i dont know where things are going to and how things will turn out to be*~
~*i only know*~
~*one day*~
~*accusations will start coming in*~
somehow i can tell that my dancing life is coming to an end...soon... maybe after this year? i dont want it that way... but it is just so difficult to handle things... like people aer not happy with the way i do things although i think that i am doing the correct things...
somemore people are not understanding why i am doing certain things... they only know how to assume and let accusations set in... i never like accusation... please remember that...
i am always trying to explain why i am doing certain things... but they are forever never interested in listening... in the end i am always telling it to people who having nothing much to do with matters...
maybe i am not doing enough or i am not doing as much for you all... but i think i put in my bestest... i did more that i can do for any other group... i never have the chance to tell you all in your face... that is just so bu yao lian... and please ask yourselves whether you all will be willing to sit down and listen?
maybe i am going into depression again soon? i dont know... and i dont really wish to know... now it just seems better to be sad... maybe that will cut down on the possible accusations that will be setting in soon...
people will start saying...
ok... whatever shit that is... all those stupid jokes... they are already not funny... cause i no longer know how to laugh... go and tell them... bu shuang me or anything, i no longer care... cause i only hope that they will leave as soon as possible... i am making it clear here... i have my reasons... like it or not...
i want the influence to stop here and now!!!... there is no need to 'protect' you all anymore and get things onto my back... i am always like an idiot helping you all to clear things up... no more of that... i am tired... and i dont see the need to anymore...
i feel so not treasured... maybe to you all i dont deserve anything at all... maybe not seeing me will make you all happier...
when will you all start to use your brain? it is no longer about fun and laughter... it is about what the others will think and do... like it or not... for now or for the future... that is just something that you all must learn...
if you all dont change... someone there leave, that makes the end of me... i cannot stay on without some people... i cannot stay on with some people... not me... it is them...
i dont know... go ahead and hate me or bu shuang me... i am just so used to you all not asking and not knowing what i am thinking...
the day that i fear is coming soon... the day when you all start to dont like me... it will come soon...
i am still the same old me... it is a problem with my priority... it is not problem... rather a change... i have to think for the future... i hope you all will too...
those tears are not because i didnt manage to win you in the quarrel... but because the day that i am afraid of... is drawing near...
i am always crying... stupid me right? people say iti not worth it... but i think otherwise...
i still think otherwise...
~*i only know*~
~*one day*~
~*accusations will start coming in*~
somehow i can tell that my dancing life is coming to an end...soon... maybe after this year? i dont want it that way... but it is just so difficult to handle things... like people aer not happy with the way i do things although i think that i am doing the correct things...
somemore people are not understanding why i am doing certain things... they only know how to assume and let accusations set in... i never like accusation... please remember that...
i am always trying to explain why i am doing certain things... but they are forever never interested in listening... in the end i am always telling it to people who having nothing much to do with matters...
maybe i am not doing enough or i am not doing as much for you all... but i think i put in my bestest... i did more that i can do for any other group... i never have the chance to tell you all in your face... that is just so bu yao lian... and please ask yourselves whether you all will be willing to sit down and listen?
maybe i am going into depression again soon? i dont know... and i dont really wish to know... now it just seems better to be sad... maybe that will cut down on the possible accusations that will be setting in soon...
people will start saying...
ok... whatever shit that is... all those stupid jokes... they are already not funny... cause i no longer know how to laugh... go and tell them... bu shuang me or anything, i no longer care... cause i only hope that they will leave as soon as possible... i am making it clear here... i have my reasons... like it or not...
i want the influence to stop here and now!!!... there is no need to 'protect' you all anymore and get things onto my back... i am always like an idiot helping you all to clear things up... no more of that... i am tired... and i dont see the need to anymore...
i feel so not treasured... maybe to you all i dont deserve anything at all... maybe not seeing me will make you all happier...
when will you all start to use your brain? it is no longer about fun and laughter... it is about what the others will think and do... like it or not... for now or for the future... that is just something that you all must learn...
if you all dont change... someone there leave, that makes the end of me... i cannot stay on without some people... i cannot stay on with some people... not me... it is them...
i dont know... go ahead and hate me or bu shuang me... i am just so used to you all not asking and not knowing what i am thinking...
the day that i fear is coming soon... the day when you all start to dont like me... it will come soon...
i am still the same old me... it is a problem with my priority... it is not problem... rather a change... i have to think for the future... i hope you all will too...
those tears are not because i didnt manage to win you in the quarrel... but because the day that i am afraid of... is drawing near...
i am always crying... stupid me right? people say iti not worth it... but i think otherwise...
i still think otherwise...
.::everything in life::.
~*ok*~
~*i am quite happy!!!*~
~*but i am super pissed with someone*~
that someone got something that i prayed hard for... and he not only benefit from that thing, he also gained something that i got... the chance to do something... anyway...the stupid thing is, i got only one thing nd he got two...how unfair can this world get?
ok i am not the only one who is not happy... there are still people out there who are not happy about it... who is he lor... i feel like slapping him...
but so sad i cant spoil the relationship with him... he is still of use to me... evil me huh... ahahaha...
anyway... dont blame me for being crude to you all... cause i have my reasons... accept it or not... i have to think for the future... no choice here... and please, when you all have the chance, figure out how to use those butterfly brain... think for the future...
it is no longer just about fun and laughter and atmosphere... it is about future...
anyway... i am tired...
~*i am quite happy!!!*~
~*but i am super pissed with someone*~
that someone got something that i prayed hard for... and he not only benefit from that thing, he also gained something that i got... the chance to do something... anyway...the stupid thing is, i got only one thing nd he got two...how unfair can this world get?
ok i am not the only one who is not happy... there are still people out there who are not happy about it... who is he lor... i feel like slapping him...
but so sad i cant spoil the relationship with him... he is still of use to me... evil me huh... ahahaha...
anyway... dont blame me for being crude to you all... cause i have my reasons... accept it or not... i have to think for the future... no choice here... and please, when you all have the chance, figure out how to use those butterfly brain... think for the future...
it is no longer just about fun and laughter and atmosphere... it is about future...
anyway... i am tired...
Sunday, February 19, 2006
.::i am really tired::.
~*YEA!!!*~
i am going malaysia before the march holidays for the competition thing!!! so happy...
anway... i am super tired recently... alot of people are super tired... i think especially lao shi... he is rushing here and there la... haix... he is so important to all of us that he cant afford to fall sick...
anyway... just came back from chingay in jurong with nanhua... aun father fetched me home again... and we each took home 10 pizza bun? haha... i think we rock... but i think aun mentioned that shibin brought home 15...haha...
i have decided to blog although i am so tired... so that my blog wont be took dead...
sorry that i am doing what i am doing... but i am just so sorry that i can never help to cover things up like the way i used to try to do... cause i need to think about the future... it is no longer a need or dont need choice here... it is a must to... and out to those secondary 2 boys... i warn your... better control before i lose control of myself... if your think everything is still a joke then go ahead... i will make sure you regret what you did...
anyway... i am so tired that i decide to end this entry here... keep it short and sweet...
hope NHDS like those small little marshmallos... i mean... it is for valentines' day and frienship week and also sec4 last performance... hope your like it...i know it is a bit too sweet.... please blame the milo powder... try to contact milo manufacturer yourself please... haha...
anyway... no chocolate for PA tomorrow... cause my house no more chocolate le... maybe next week ba...
hope that things are going on well for all of you...
it is good to learn to move on... stay happy girl!!! C=
i am going malaysia before the march holidays for the competition thing!!! so happy...
anway... i am super tired recently... alot of people are super tired... i think especially lao shi... he is rushing here and there la... haix... he is so important to all of us that he cant afford to fall sick...
anyway... just came back from chingay in jurong with nanhua... aun father fetched me home again... and we each took home 10 pizza bun? haha... i think we rock... but i think aun mentioned that shibin brought home 15...haha...
i have decided to blog although i am so tired... so that my blog wont be took dead...
sorry that i am doing what i am doing... but i am just so sorry that i can never help to cover things up like the way i used to try to do... cause i need to think about the future... it is no longer a need or dont need choice here... it is a must to... and out to those secondary 2 boys... i warn your... better control before i lose control of myself... if your think everything is still a joke then go ahead... i will make sure you regret what you did...
anyway... i am so tired that i decide to end this entry here... keep it short and sweet...
hope NHDS like those small little marshmallos... i mean... it is for valentines' day and frienship week and also sec4 last performance... hope your like it...i know it is a bit too sweet.... please blame the milo powder... try to contact milo manufacturer yourself please... haha...
anyway... no chocolate for PA tomorrow... cause my house no more chocolate le... maybe next week ba...
hope that things are going on well for all of you...
it is good to learn to move on... stay happy girl!!! C=
Thursday, February 09, 2006
.::so many tings::.
~*so many things happened today*~
~*go ahead and bu shuang*~
~*i think i no longer care*~
~*tomorrow will be better day*~
ok... i have to admit...so many things happened today... i cried again in nan hua... sad... anyway.... if i make some mistake here in this entry, please pardon me... i am abit abit drunk from the red wine that i drink...
anyway... i didnt mean to xia lan him... we will be talking about i tomorrow... so hope things will be settle tomorrow...
i didnt meant to xia lan... how afraid i am... scare that one day he will bu shuang me again... and i know if i dont thrash things out son enough, that day willbe drawing near...
i think it is time to give up on him... so many people are telling me that he is only a tool... cant he just treasure smeone who treat him like a person? i am disappointed... stop telling me to dont care about him... i just want all of your to be together...
i have the urge to tell youu everything today... but i expected the reply from youu... youu will be telling me the same thing...they are just kids...
anyway... let a new month start soon... so i can sms more...
C= this smile still stands for the same thing...
i miss youu...
~* C= *~
~*go ahead and bu shuang*~
~*i think i no longer care*~
~*tomorrow will be better day*~
ok... i have to admit...so many things happened today... i cried again in nan hua... sad... anyway.... if i make some mistake here in this entry, please pardon me... i am abit abit drunk from the red wine that i drink...
anyway... i didnt mean to xia lan him... we will be talking about i tomorrow... so hope things will be settle tomorrow...
i didnt meant to xia lan... how afraid i am... scare that one day he will bu shuang me again... and i know if i dont thrash things out son enough, that day willbe drawing near...
i think it is time to give up on him... so many people are telling me that he is only a tool... cant he just treasure smeone who treat him like a person? i am disappointed... stop telling me to dont care about him... i just want all of your to be together...
i have the urge to tell youu everything today... but i expected the reply from youu... youu will be telling me the same thing...they are just kids...
anyway... let a new month start soon... so i can sms more...
C= this smile still stands for the same thing...
i miss youu...
~* C= *~
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